Stephanie Pratt: [crying] You're making me feel so guilty.
Spencer Pratt: No, you're making YOURSELF feel guilty. Thinking about what YOU did.

I respect Mary Kate as a business-woman. I'm secretly jealous of her. I want my face on a lunchbox, too!

Spencer Pratt (on Mary-Kate Olsen)

I'm a work in progress. I'd never been to church until I met Heidi. She got me to go — it was a big step. The walls shook a little bit as I first cruised in, but Jesus and I are making the connection.

She should probably focus more on not getting dressed in the dark than on me… I know I’ve made it in Hollywood when a famous troll is talking about me on Letterman. I forgive her, though. She’s had to go through life as the less cute twin, which must be tough.

Spencer Pratt [on Mary-Kate Olsen]

Can you PLEASE get these obnoxious chicks away from me right now?

[on the phone]
Brody Jenner: I have no problem with you. I have no problem with Lauren. What's your issue?
Spencer Pratt: You are hanging out with MY enemy. That makes YOU my enemy.
Brody Jenner: What the hell are you talking about? I feel like we're back in grade school with this stuff.
Spencer Pratt: I have nothing to say to you. [hangs up]
Brody Jenner: [pauses] What a bitch!

You want beef in the streets?

Spencer Pratt [following an altercation at Hyde]

[Spencer bails on Brody's BBQ]
Brody Jenner: Just stop flaking out. I mean if you're going to make plans with me then just stick with it.
Spencer Pratt: You're a lot like LC over here.
Brody Jenner: I understand that you're in love. But it just sucks when you just flake out on your homies like this all the time.

Anybody who wants to promote our brand, negative or positive, give me a call.

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