My fat f-cking ass ripped the dress.

A little bun in the oven. Your ass is gonna be so big.

Are you going to be a boring whore your whole life?

Let's get real here. Are you bi, Bruce?

I have a nipple obsession and personally love when women show their nipples - perhaps I was a member of a nudist colony in my last life.

What if they know how to queef on command?

[On Scott Disick]: He's a douche lord.

Judge nothing by appearance alone. The more beautiful the serpent, the more fatal its sting. Look into her eyes and see her soul. Eventually her soul will reflect and beauty you will possess.

Don't go into the ocean while on your period because a shark is going to attack you.

F-ck my anal cavity!

Your hair is shorter than a vagina’s bush!

[To Kris Humphries]: Do you know why I call you Frankie? Because you remind me of a glimpse of Frankenstein.