Before I met you, I was very close to asking another woman to marry me. But then I didn't, because I couldn't stop thinking about you. We're soul mates.

Walden

Vivian: I don't get this whole fascination with celebrities anyway. Who cares who's dating whom, or who's engaged to who, or who has a sex tape that no one will ever, ever see?
Walden: I know. But I have to say -- I am a sucker for anything having to do with a Brangelina or a Kimye.
Vivian: I have no idea what that means. I thought we were eating Kimye.

God, no. I'd never date an actress. They're all crazy.

Walden

It's just a little water. I'm not gonna melt. It's not like I'm the Wicked Witch of the West.

Vivian

My parents got it from that '70s show. What was it called? Oh, Maude!

Vivian
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