I learned to masturbate the summer after third grade.
- Permalink: She's a Pleaser
Intercourse felt, often, like shoving a loofah into a Mason jar.
- Permalink: The Joys of Penis
I am hot. I am hungry for a snack. But mostly, I am alone.
- Permalink: Three Essential Truths
I was sure I had already broken my hymen in high school while crawling over a fence in Brooklyn in pursuit of a cat that didn’t want to be rescued.
- Permalink: Magical Sexual Moments
I have the nagging sense that my true friends are waiting for me beyond college, unusual women whose ambitions are as big as their past transgressions, whose hair is piled high, dramatic like topiaries at Versailles, and who never, ever say 'too much information' when you mention a sex dream you had about your father.
- Permalink: True Friendship Is ...
My mother and I have a massive fight when I choose to wear a banana-printed belly shirt and pink leggings to the Vatican.
- Permalink: Girl's Got Style
I am 20 years old and hate myself. My hair, my face, the curve of my stomach. The way my voice comes out wavering and my poems come out maudlin.
- Permalink: Coming of Age
When I was nine, I wrote a vow of celibacy on a piece of paper and ate it.
- Permalink: Mmm. Delish
They need to look at those parts of their society and maybe just not want to kill each other and get rid of somebody like Hitler.
- Permalink: Peace in the Middle East
I say go where the getting is good. I'm not going to find such marriage material at a club. I do dabble with, like, some businessmen that I do meet.
- Permalink: Dabbling with Businessmen
It would be really sexy to have George Clooney once. I think he is so sexy!
- Permalink: Bye, George!
The word trill really REALLY bugs me! Like who made that up???
- Permalink: Trill out!