"I'm miserable and I'm unhappy." - Dean, getting right down to business, and not just because a lizard crawled onto him (which did happen obviously)
- Permalink: Cutting to the Chase
"What's keeping you in this marriage?" - True Tori producer to Tori, who cried and said that when there are children involved, you look at it differently (on reality television if at all possible)
- Permalink: Why Do You Stay?
"I was feeling really bad about my potato-making skills." - Tori, after Dean felt that she had microwaved a potato incorrectly, sending her plunging into an existential crisis and a state of instant self-loathing
- Permalink: Not So Hot Potato
He is an older Jewish man who, before deciding to inspect ladies down there for a living, played for the Mets. He inserted the speculum as he described his wife’s commitment to her spin classes.
- Permalink: OBGYNs
The coolest clique at school was a group of rugby-playing, neon-wearing lesbians.
- Permalink: The Cool Kids
There I am, drunk on a spring night, yanking my tampon out and hurling it into a bush outside the church.
- Permalink: Do What You Gotta Do
I'd create my own schedule that served my need to eat a rich snack every 5-15 minutes.
- Permalink: No, Seriously, College RULES
I was allowed to take my puppy to gym class. My best friend played a didgeridoo he bought off the Internet.
- Permalink: College Life
marriage, the afterlife, Woody Allen.Over time, my belief in many things has wavered
- Permalink: Oh, Woody Allen
If you have a vagina, by birth or by choice, you will be called 'mami' or 'sweetie' or 'Britney Spears.'
- Permalink: Vagina Equals Britney
I associate pain in the vagina with weakness and sadness.
- Permalink: Vaginal Pain
My mother didn’t bother asking why I had opened Grace’s vagina. This was within the spectrum of things that I did.
- Permalink: Go Play With Your Sister