I spoke to a girl today who had cancer and we were talking about how this is such a hard thing for her, but it taught her a big lesson on who her friends are and so much about life. She's 18. And I was like, that's how I feel.
- Permalink: It's like I have cancer...
If you're a basketball player and you don't stop and take pictures with your fans, you can have an amazing game and everyone still loves you
- Permalink: Pity me...
[Taking selfies] is the purpose of life.
- Permalink: is the purpose of life.
My fat f-cking ass ripped the dress.
- Permalink: My fat f-cking ass ripped the dress.
A little bun in the oven. Your ass is gonna be so big.
- Permalink: A little bun in the oven. Your ass is gonna be so big.
Are you going to be a boring whore your whole life?
- Permalink: Are you going to be a boring whore your whole life?
Let's get real here. Are you bi, Bruce?
- Permalink: Let's get real here. Are you bi, Bruce?
I have a nipple obsession and personally love when women show their nipples - perhaps I was a member of a nudist colony in my last life.
- Permalink: Obsessed with nipples!
What if they know how to queef on command?
- Permalink: What if they know how to queef on command?
[On Scott Disick]: He's a douche lord.
- Permalink: He's a douche lord.
Judge nothing by appearance alone. The more beautiful the serpent, the more fatal its sting. Look into her eyes and see her soul. Eventually her soul will reflect and beauty you will possess.
- Permalink: A beautiful serpent...
Don't go into the ocean while on your period because a shark is going to attack you.
- Permalink: Shark attack warning!