"Your face morphed Dark skin, dark bean. I don’t know who it was." - Dean to Guru Singh, after his "release"
- Permalink: Dean is Reborn (WTH)
"Not worthy, conflicted, confused, complicated." - Dean on Dean
- Permalink: He's Not Worthy
"My love, little boy, caring and selfish, lost, smart and stupid." - Tori, in response to the question "Who is Dean?"
- Permalink: Her Little Boy
"Intelligent, immature, a baby, afraid of hurting feelings, afraid of hurting people, ill ... physically, amazing wife, amazing mom, full of love, amazing touch … the love of my life." - Dean, in response to the question "Who is Tori?" (Vom)
- Permalink: Who is Tori Spelling?!
"It’s a love note from Dean to me, and I just read a love note from Dean to Mary Jo. How ironic is this?" - Tori, apparently mixing up the words "ironic" and "scripted"
- Permalink: Isn't it NOT Ironic?!
"I was a weak, emasculated individual." - Dean on being married to Mary Jo
- Permalink: Weak
"If that’s what he was looking for - a free ticket - it didn’t work out." - Tori in response to Mary Jo's claim that he was most attracted to Tori's money
- Permalink: Gold Digging FAIL
"Our common denominator is Dean. It just makes sense that we’d want to talk about it." - Tori on her totally normal plan to meet up with Mary Jo Eustace
- Permalink: Lowest Common DEANominator
"Dean feels like the show is a mistake and it’s hurting our relationship, not helping it." - Tori, in the second biggest understatement in the history of human civilization
- Permalink: The Light Blub Turns On
"I feel like I'm a little bit of a laughing stock." - Dean, in the biggest understatement in the history of human civilization
- Permalink: We're Laughing at You, Not with You Dean
"She’s kind of the one person I want to talk about the affair with." - Tori, on Mary Jo, because obviously that's what she thinks is a good idea, without giving any consideration to her reality show
- Permalink: The One Person
"I took a kitchen knife with me in my purse." - Tori, on the first time she met Mary Jo Eustace
- Permalink: Armed and Dangerous