I am not a Star Trek fan. I know as much about Star Trek as you learn by just being a human on Earth.

I know the names of most of the Enterprise Crew…

Oh! I know the “Enterprise.”

I know what a Vulcan is. And a Klingon. And Warp Speed. And we’re starting to reach the extent of my knowledge here...

I saw Star Trek Into Darkness. And I felt like a kid who just transferred to a new school and picked the only table of friends who’ve known each other since birth to sit down with during lunch.

They’re all talking about “Randy’s Mom’s hilarious pancake that one time,” and I come from a place that called pancakes ‘flap jacks’ so I’m all confused.

The film was big. It was explodey. It was a boring, boring, boring Summer Action Flick.

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Chris Brown is releasing a new app called the Chris Brown Channel.

Yes, this is a real thing. Cue massive shrieking from Team Breezy.

"I am so excited to get closer to my fans," says the 24-year-old.

Chris Brown Channel

"To bring them into my world, hearing from me in my own words. Through my channel app they can be part of my music, my art, my life, day in and day out."

The app basically looks like a blend of Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, only it's 24/7 Chris Brown - who will have the ability to contact you if he sees fit.

That's right, if you download this, none other than Christopher Maurice Brown might personally threaten to beat your ass into submission call you.

You gotta love technology and Millennials.

Tommy Chong wants to legalize marijuana. Knock us over with a feather.

The comedian feels that pot hasn't been legalized is no laughing matter.

With the government standing to earn money off it, what's the holdup?

Chong tells The Philadelphia Daily News in an interview:

"Look at the situation we're in now. Sequesters. Cuts. Everything across the board. Now, the government is tapped into the biggest cash crop in the world."

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The world of professional soccer football futball sports is about to get far less handsome.

David Beckham has announced that he is retiring at the end of this season.

"I'm thankful to PSG for giving me the opportunity to continue but I feel now is the right time to finish my career, playing at the highest level," Beckham said in a statement.

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Fred White, the longtime broadcaster for the Kansas City Royals, has died. He passed away yesterday, one day after announcing his retirement.

White was 76.

White died of complications from melanoma. The broadcaster, who had a 40-year association with K.C., had reportedly been sick for some time.

White joined the Royals' broadcast team in 1973 and teamed with Denny Matthews in 1975, with the two serving at the team's voices though 1998.

More recently, White remained an active figure within the MLB organization, acting as the club's director of broadcast services and Royals alumni.

A team statement said the longtime broadcaster passed while in hospice care. His family has requested privacy as they deal with their grief. R.I.P.

Jessica Alba is an online inspiration to us all.

The actress recently posted a photo of herself on the receiving end of a Street Fighter-like attack from husband Cash Warren, as he goes all Ryu on the beauty, putting his hands together and forcing Alba back with a bit of magic.

Check out the fun Instagram picture here:

Tagging other shots like this one with #Hadouken, Alba has prompted the outbreak of a new Meme, as others around the Internet have joined in.

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In a word? WHOA!

Mo'Nique has taken to Twitter to show off her new physique, which is down to 218 pounds after once weighing in at over 300.

And credit for the change apparently goes to husband Sidney Hicks, who explained that Mo'Nique is a mother and must be thinking ahead these days.

"I want to meet their babies," the actress told New York's Hot 97 FM of her children. "So, I said, 'Let me stop being selfish, and eating everything.'"

The result of focusing on healthy recipes, lifting weights, doing yoga and taking a minimum of 1,000 steps per day is evident.

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The bikini used in the cover photo of the Farrah Abraham sex tape can be yours, a piece of cinema history courtesy of a hot piece of ... well, you know.

Vivid Entertainment, the porn studio behind the release of Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom, has put the bedazzled two-piece up for bids on eBay.

Opening price? A modest $500!

The hilarious listing advertises the Poolside Collection bikini as "used" ... and TMZ reports that you can take that literally. As in it hasn't been washed since.

You may now vomit on cue.

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Wade Robson opened up on Today this morning about his claims that Michael Jackson sexually abused him and forced him to keep quiet about it.

Wade Robson Today Show Interview

Robson told Matt Lauer there is no repressed memory of what happened, as has been reported, nor is he coming forward now just for money.

“I never forgot one moment of what Michael did,” he said. “but I was psychologically unable and unwilling to understand that it was sexual abuse.”

Asked to spell out what that means, he didn't hesitate.

The choreographer claims that the King of Pop "performed sexual acts on him and forced me to perform sexual acts on him" when he was a child.

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Boy bands are getting set to take over the world once again.

With The Backstreet Boys going on tour this summer, One Direction has announced that it will perform across the globe in 2014.

“It’s important the fans and everyone who comes to see the show know it’s going to be much bigger with new songs,” Harry Styles said of the impending concerts, adding they will represent a "completely different tour.”

We can't wait!

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