by Free Britney at . Comments

MTV's Jersey Shore returned with an all-new, festive, New Year's Eve episode last night, and lucky for you, The Hollywood Gossip has its weekly rundown.

Below, we break down the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night's episode five, "Just Another Day at the Shore," awarding and deducting points.

Leave a comment with your own pluses, minuses, and feedback ...

Ronnie cannot believe that while the rest of the gang tends to Snooki, who got knocked out in the previous episode, Mike is still trolling for chicks out on the boardwalk. Or, as Ronnie put it, "The Situation's creepin'." Plus 8.

One last note on the fight. Brad Ferro is a moron who should never have hit Snooki. But when you scream explatives at someone and flick drinks in his face, well, you can't say it was totally unprovoked. We're just saying, Snook. Minus 4.

These guys swear. A lot. Even in situations that don't really require profane language. There was a 20-second stretch of basically one long bleep. Plus 3.

Nice pit stains, JWOWW. Minus 2.

Ronnie, the biggest, most juiced up guido of them all, is a softie at heart and a total mama's boy who just wants his family to like Sam. Who knew?! Plus 4.

Tending to Snooki

THE AFTERMATH: The gang tends to Schnookems.

Snooki doesn't eat lobster because "they're alive when you kill it." Plus 3.

The girls go tanning. At a salon. In the summer. At the beach. Minus 3.

On a warm day, the gang goes on a boat. Plus 2 for conjuring up images of Andy Samberg and T-Pain. Plus 4 more because the boat is named "Forgetaboutit."

Pauly D boasts that his hair is waterproof and windproof. Impressive, but we're calling it Even because no one, not even the great DJ Pauly D, needs that much gel.

JWOWW does not come across well in this episode. A territorial animal who goes out looking to start fights, she belongs on the National Geographic Channel. Minus 7.

Mike, Vinny and Pauly D put the moves on a group of three girls, who Pauly D notes (with a certain element of surprise, but also with respect) are nice girls who actually want to be treated like human beings and not whores. Plus 8.

Really, JWOWW's boyfriend? Flowers? You can do better man. Minus 4.

Plus 5 for Vinny hooking up with his boss' girlfriend. Vinny had done very little this season so far, and this all-out d!ck move should lead to some quality drama. Plus 1 more for Vinny christening Pauly D "the ultimate guido."

TOTAL: +18! SEASON: +37! This was probably our favorite episode so far, because it didn't stick to one overdramatic story. We got to see the guidos and guidettes do their thing and amuse us in many different scenarios. Until next week ...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Happy New Year from The Hollywood Gossip. We hope that as the calendar flips over to 2010, you find your spirit renewed. Or at least that you slept in.

Did you make any New Year's resolutions this year? Ones you plan on keeping for more than a week? If so, we wish you the best of luck with those.

We've heard what certain stars are hoping for this year too. Or at least what they should. Here are some of THG's celebrity New Year's resolutions...

Kevin Jonas: Have sex at least one more time.

Charlie Sheen: Take an anger management class.

Miley Cyrus: Come back to Twitter!

Nadya Suleman: Lobby for an Octomom-specifc stimulus plan.

Tyra Banks: Be less obvious in attempts to copy Oprah Winfrey.

Whitney Houston: Get back together with Ray J.

Hailey Glassman: Acquire an ounce of common sense.

Lindsay Lohan: Occasionally remain dressed.

  • Failing to Be Sexy
  • P-Hiltz

A trio of uber-famous, often-troubled gossip staples.

Britney Spears: Attempt to smile.

Paris Hilton: Let Doug out of his cage more.

Giuliana and Bill Rancic: Keep trying to conceive.

Levi Johnston: Get naked in more magazines.

Adam Lambert: Just keeping being yourself, man.

The Hills cast: Pretend plots are at least remotely believable.

The Jersey Shore cast: Meet someone they don't offend.

Tila Tequila: Tweet something that's actually true.

  • Mostly Plastic
  • Gorgeous in Glamour
  • Tequila Pic

Look! We're hot! Pay attention to us! Over here! Hello?

Heidi Montag: Have more plastic surgery done.

Kim Kardashian: Get engaged... or die trying.

Bruce Jenner: Run far, far away.

Taylor Lautner: Open personal training side business.

Kristen Stewart: Cut mullet, continue to brood silently.

Rachelle Lefevre: Have Bryce Dallas Howard professionally killed.

Tiger Woods: Break out the cocktail waitresses, Cristal and motherf%*kin' condoms!

Elin Woods: Work on her 9-iron accuracy.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Elin Nordegren, the scorned wife of the world's #1 golfer and adulterer Tiger Woods, turns 30 years old on this first of January. Happy birthday, Elin!

If Tiger has any brains, he'll order up a Kobe special for his girl to get the year started off right. He doesn't want her coming at him wielding a 9-iron.

If you have any brains, you'll click to enlarge this gallery of Elin Woods pictures we put together below. We can't believe Tiger cheated on her either:

  • Vintage Elin Nordegren
  • Fight For the Kids
  • What Elin Knew

What celebrity birthdays are coming up next as we begin an exciting new year of Hollywood news and gossip? Check out our calendar and find out!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

While Kim Kardashian is already looking ahead to 2011, via a sneak peek at her calendar, she's also planning for a successful 2010.

On the final day of the year, Kim has taken to her blog and announced her resolutions for the 12 months ahead. Kardashian writes:

Glamourous Pose

My New Year's resolution is to stay fit, workout harder and try to eat healthier. I would also like to make more time for my family and friends!

That last one could prove difficult. After all, Kim is constantly busy blogging, standing on red carpets and finding tops that accentuate her breasts.

Do you have any resolutions, THG readers?

by Free Britney at . Comments

The new season of The Bachelor, starring Dallas pilot Jake Pavelka, premieres Monday on ABC, and the network has been running a juicy promo to hype it up.

Amid images of Jake shirtless, pumping iron and talking about what a lucky fella he is, a voiceover promises the season will being with a "shocking scandal.”

One of the contestants (presumably) can then be heard saying of someone: “She’s been having this sexual affair with somebody else in The Bachelor house.”

Cut to obligatory shots of two girls under the same blanket and another two girls jumping on each other in what looks like it could be a playful tickle fight.

While some reports have claimed that a contestant hooks up with a crew member, could at be that a contestant cheats on Jake ... with another contestant?

That would be a way to drive up the ratings, for sure ...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Disco has long been out of style.

While Lady Gaga can wear sequins, sparkles and sing about riding on a disco stick and make just about anything work, most celebs are not Lady Gaga.

There's a fine line between silvery and shiny and looking like a human disco ball, as E! Online amusingly and accurately put it. See Exhibits A-D below.

Selena Gomez, New Moon's Christian Serratos, Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson all fell victim to the allure of the head-to-toe silver dress. Blinding!

Or maybe we're being too harsh on them ... some of them anyway. Who do you think made this look work the best? Vote in our fashion survey!

Disco Sticks

Who wore the disco ball dress best?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Rachel Uchitel, the most notorious and the first of many Tiger Woods mistresses to be publicly identified, says she is not cavorting with the golfer in Florida.

Woods' whereabouts have become a guessing game of late, and with Uchitel in Palm Beach, Fla., near where Tiger's boat is docked, rumors are swirling.

Rachel Uchitel Sunglasses Photo

It doesn't help that he was supposedly in love with her, or that aside from meeting with police December 1, there have been no confirmed Tiger sightings.

Regardless, Uchitel tells Access Hollywood he did not go to the city’s Everglades Club with her ex-lover over the weekend, despite reports suggesting this.

Uchitel spent Saturday night with a group of 10 friends, she said, starting at Echo for dinner, then moving on to 251 Sunrise, a local Palm Beach nightclub.

Tiger Woods? Nowhere to be seen.

Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel are not still hitting it, says she.

Gloria Allred also released a statement to Access Hollywood shooting down reports that Uchitel has been spotted partying with him, saying in a statement:

“Ms. Uchitel has had no contact with Tiger Woods for some time, and has not seen or had any communication with him since she has been in Palm Beach.”

In other Tiger news, he was dumped by AT&T as a corporate pitchman today. All those dirty texts to Jaimee Grubbs on his iPhone couldn't have helped.

by Free Britney at . Comments

For two of the cutest Southern California products around, a little pop of color added a candy-coated touch to their already luscious lips.

Blake Lively and Lauren Conrad both brought fuchsia lip gloss to the red carpet recently, as you can see in the beautiful photos of each.

Who wore the color best, though? That's for you to decide.

The Gossip Girl star and the Hills alum are often on top of the style heap, but there can be only one winner here. Vote in our poll below!

BLC

Who looked prettier in pink?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

2010 is so this year.

Well, almost.

But Kim Kardashian is nothing if not a forward-looking woman.

With that in mind, the large-breasted reality star is giving fans a sneak peek of her calendar. Her 2011 calendar, that is.

In her latest blog entry, Kim says she snapped some photos with some blonde hair and some with dark hair. The following is an example of the former look. What do you think of it?

2011 Calendar Pic

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

For the last couple weeks, The Hollywood Gossip has looked back at 2009 by naming the finalists for our prestigious, 3rd Annual Celebrity of the Year award.

In this section, we've been paying tribute to the unique stars that made the past 12 months so memorable for gossip followers across the nation and globe.

Now, following last edition's selection of Miley Cyrus in the #2 spot, we've finally reached the top. Drumroll please...

For 2009, THG's Celebrity of the Year is... the New Moon cast!

Critics might say we're copping out by choosing more than one star for this honor, but come on. Everyone involved with the Twilight Saga deserves recognition for turning a book series into the most popular, buzzed-about film franchise in years.

This doesn't always happen. Remember The Golden Compass? Probably not. Starring Nicole Kidman, it was meant as the first installment in a trilogy based on Philip Pullman's His Dark Material novels. A second movie was never even made.

So, what enabled New Moon to gross over $660 million worldwide? A cast of young, fresh, gorgeous, talented and seemingly grounded individuals. Below, we note each actor's 2009 accomplishments:

Robert Pattinson: Might as well start at the top. The British actor has grown into a global phenomenon. He can't walk away from a film set without being followed by countless paparazzi members, his every interaction with women is chronicled like it's a Presidential summit and he was named one of People's 50 Most Beautiful People of 2009.

Over the course of a few months, Pattinson covered Entertainment Weekly, Harper's Bazaar, OK! Weekly, Vanity Fair and Rolling Stone. He's also dating...

Kristen Stewart: She broods, therefore she is. While Stewart had already appeared in a critically-acclaimed movie (Into the Wild) prior to landing the role of Bella Swan, she took on a cult following after her performance in New Moon. Millions of women around the world both love her and hate her for bagging Pattinson, but one thing is clear: they can't take their eyes off her.

Taylor Lautner: He dated Taylor Swift. He rarely wore a shirt. He was actually able to recruit girls away from Team Edward for Team Jacob, based on his bulked-up role in New Moon. Lautner has already signed on for two new movies and appears to have a huge career ahead of him.

Ashley Greene: The actress almost broke the Internet when naked photos of her were leaked online.

Nikki Reed: Probably the least known main star of the franchise. But she's dating Paris Latsis, Paris Hilton's ex, and has been involved in numerous THG Fashion Face-Offs.

Kellan Lutz: Has the best young body in Hollywood and wants to be the next Jason Bourne. Has been involved with 90210 star AnnaLynne McCord and... did we mention his body?

There you have it. It's been an incredible year and we're grateful that so many readers joined us for the ride. We can't think of a better way to end 2009 than with a photo montage that honors these Celebrities of the Year. Click around, enjoy and come back in 2010 for so much more...

  • Greene with Gorgeousness
  • The Best Body
  • Nikki Reed Poster
  • At Play, in Water
  • Lip Biter
  • Just So Hot
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