by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In case you didn't noticed, The Hills premiered on MTV this week.

As loyal celebrity gossip followers, we were stuck covering every article and quote used to hype the show's new season, which included a few nuggets from the Satanic spawn known as Spencer Pratt.

Heidi Montag at LAX

Love the cast or hate the cast, everyone from Spencer to Kristin Cavallari was in the news this week. An aggravating, entertaining summation of their stories is below...

  • First, get caught up on the season premiere with our unique plus/minus review of events from it;
  • Check out Stephanie, Lo and Audrina walking the streets of L.A. while shooting this (un)reality show;
  • Sit slack-jawed as you browse through the insane gobs of money each star brings in;
  • Get out a tissue: Stephanie Pratt might soon say goodbye.
  • Spencer, meanwhile, is saying no to sex.
  • That's the same message Kristin Cavallari sent to John Mayer when he hit on her.
  • Pratt thinks Speidi is bigger than the Kardashians and on par with the Obamas.
  • The entire cast posed for promotional photos that were as staged as every fight and discussion on the show itself.

While it often pains us, remember: The Hollywood Gossip is the source for The Hills. Come back everyday for the latest coverage on a group of people we love to hate.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We're very sorry to report, but viewers haven't seen the last of Jon Gosselin on TLC.

While it's true the reality show that catapulted him to fame will be renamed Kate Plus 8; and it's also confirmed it will focus a lot more on Kate Gosselin and the kids, starting November 2, Jon's rep, Mike Heller, makes it clear:

"He was not fired."

That's fine and all, but we can't help wondering: How does one look oneself in the mirror when one's job is to represent Jon Gosselin?

Downtrodden

Overall, Kate Plus 8 - how relieved must TLC be that the less douchey side of this couple is the one whose name rhymes with "8?!?" - will focus on the lives of the adorable Gosselin twins and their five-year-old sextuplet siblings.

What will Jon be up to, as the series takes a closer look at Kate's role as a single mother?

A source told Us Weekly he's "still working out the details" for various projects, such as a reality show called The Divorced Dads Club, which would co-star Michael Lohan.

We can only hope it revolves around which father viewers get to stone in public each week.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom in a lavish, made-for-television ceremony last weekend.

But you'd scarcely know that based on the latest issue of OK! Weekly, which paid approximately $300,000 for exclusive photos from the event.

On the cover, the smiling bride is front and center - but squint and look closely or you'll miss the beaming husband. Odom is overshadowed in the main picture by Kourtney and Kim Kardashian, a fact he'll have to adjust to every time a camera is around...

OK! Magazine Cover

Other details from the publicity-garnering wedding include:

  • Perrier-Jouët champagne was served;
  • Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds serenaded the couple with a rendition of “You Are So Beautiful;"
  • During her toast, Kris Jenner got choked up, saying, “Everyone knows I boohoo in public!”

Well, not everyone knows that. They will, however, when E! airs its Kardashian wedding special on November 8. Kill us now. Please.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Finally, Spencer Pratt is echoing the sentiments of his harshest critics: all agree that the publicity-loving son of Satan should not bear any children.

Unfortunately for Heidi Montag, though, this means missing out on intercourse with her husband; because, as Pratt told The New York Post, he doesn't trust his wife.

"I'm not even kidding, but we're barely having sex because I'm scared that she's gonna have a baby," Spencer said. "That's the level our marriage is on right now. I'm not even kidding – my wife has me debating cutting off my nuts."

But, wait, isn't Heidi on birth control? Yes. However, this union is so strong and healthy that Spencer thinks she might stop taking the pill, spread her legs and not tell her man.

"She's not the kind of person who would lie – she would just walk away and not answer the question," Pratt said. "I'm very concerned. Our sex life has dramatically changed recently."

How is Spencer coping with the lack of sex? He's spending every waking hour ogling Montag's Playboy cover. Each page of her photo spread is likely very sticky at this point. (Sorry.)

In other news: Pratt also mocked Joel McHale, host of E!'s The Soup, because he always makes fun of Speidi. Spencer referred to McHale as "a struggling wannabe actor just clowning on reality stars," making it clear he's never heard any hilarious Community quotes.

by Free Britney at . Comments

On Tuesday night's season premiere of The Hills, Kristin Cavallari made her presence felt early and often. Amazing what huge paychecks and scripts can do. Meanwhile, Spencer put a deposit on a house without telling his duck-lipped plastic wife.

Below, The Hollywood Gossip staff reviews Kristin's first episode of MTV's long-running "reality" TV series and awards and deducts points as it sees fit ...

The last-season-in-review montage showing Lauren Conrad departing airs, with Kristin as the show's new narrator. That's cold $h!t, MTV. Cold. Minus 2.

The girls sit around, reading cue cards and giving us the 411 on Kristin Cavallari, who they've just been informed will be on The Hills ... and will be their new friend, apparently. Hey, at least their disdain is for real. Plus 5.

Why would Spencer assume Kristin would go after Justin-Bobby, who looks homeless and by all accounts does not bathe, of all the people at the party? What about Frankie Delgado or Sleazy T? This whole scenario is so ridiculous. Minus 16.

Plus 9 for the obligatory Brody Jenner shirtless and sleeveless shots, and Plus 2 more because Jayde Nicole shows no signs of Joe Francis whomping on her.

Newlywed Heidi Montag says her goal in life is to keep her husband happy. Spoken like a true feminist. Cook, clean and break out the knee pads, Heidi. Minus 5.

Kristin to Audrina: "Your sidekick is yappin' her mouth at me!" Ten seconds into the season and she already knows the role of Stephanie Pratt. Plus 4.

LMAO moment: What in the effing hell is Spencer wearing when he and Heidi pretend to go house hunting? Why are his jeans tucked into his boots? Minus 1.

Stacie the bartender calls Audrina a stage-five clinger. Plus 2 for Stacie's unexplained, contrived appearance on the show, which is not even attempting to seem real at this point, and Plus 2 more for the use of Wedding Crashers quotes.

Even Kristin's voice sounds fake, like she's trying too hard to sound overly dramatic on her "date" with Justin-Bobby. Give us a freaking break. Minus 3.

Spencer puts a deposit down on a place without telling Heidi, who hates it. The more things change, the more they stay the same (and obnoxious). Plus 12.

Fittingly, the quote of the night goes to Kristin Cavallari: [on being a Capricorn] "I'm stubborn ... organized ... I have the BEST bed." Words fail us. Even.

TOTAL: +9! The Hills is what it is. If you can get past how obviously staged it all is, there's still a lot of drama and entertainment value to be enjoyed.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Last night on the season premiere of The City, Whitney Port was greeted by old friend Roxy Olin, who she tried to help find a job at People's Revolution. Meanwhile, at Elle, Olivia Palermo clashed big-time with new boss Erin Kaplan.

Below, our staff reviews the first episode of the new iteration of MTV's Whitney-centric Hills spinoff, awarding and deducting points as we deem appropriate ...

Whitney Port, Jay Lyon Photo

In the opening intro, Whitney reflects that nothing is the same as when she first moved to New York. In other words, MTV revamped the whole thing. Minus 2.

Roxy Olin makes her grand entrance two seconds in. Peeps are sure to mention her first and last names whenever they reference her. Solid marketing. Plus 3.

Whitney lives in the West Village now. Even, since both that area and Gramercy Park are quite trendy. Just pointing out that EVERYTHING is SO different now.

Olivia Palermo was apparently retained, and got a job at Elle magazine. Erin Kaplan is introduced as her boss. She's a tough cookie! Must. Create. Conflict. Minus 1.

Erin and her boss discuss how they're going to "break" Olivia and knock this "social" off her high horse. We're holding out hope for full-on hazing. Plus 6.

Whitney and Roxy meet for lunch and talk about how great it is to be single. Roxy reminds us a little of Stephanie Pratt. That's not a compliment. Minus 8.

Roxy may have been onto something when she bashed Whitney's fashion sense. Whit's outfit on the roof is heinous. Plus 1 in any case, though, because she's just so cute talking about how she doesn't want to annoy the neighbors.

"Do your job," Olivia instructs Erin, having been at Elle herself for like a day. Minus 3 for her pompousness, and Minus 2 more for The City casting another Erin right after Whitney's friend Erin Lucas got axed for being dull. Confusing!

Kelly tells Whitney Port that she hopes her friends are worth it and treat her as nicely as she treats them. Words to live by from sage Mrs. Cutrone. Plus 7.

Five guys and 30 girls at Roxy's party ... What's the opposite of a sausage-fest? Plus 3 for the girl who complained about this, but Minus 5 for the neighbor who called the cops on a pretty tame gathering. How lame is Whitney's building?

TOTAL: -1. Not the worst we've ever seen by far, but The City 2.0 still needs to step it up and decide what the heck it is before it becomes a must-see.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In the 1991 comedy, Necessary Roughness, Kathy Ireland portrayed a college football team's kicker.

Last night on Dancing with the Stars, however, it was this former model that got the boot.

Jitterbugging

Following a paltry 18 point-performance on Monday evening, Ireland was eliminated from the show's ninth season. But she took the news well, saying afterward:

"There is so much to take away from this experience. I wouldn't change a moment of it, [including] the fact that I got to learn how to dance from world champion Tony Dovolani."

Tom DeLay managed to survive yet another week on the show, generating rumors that the disgraced former Congressman is rigging the votes somehow.

Joss Stone, Selena Gomez and even the USC Marching Band all performed on this week's results show.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Adam Lambert finished second on season eight of American Idol.

But not even Kris Allen can stand in the way of the singer's ascension to the top spot on Amazon.com's bestseller's list.

Fans are pre-ordering Lambert's debut CD - scheduled for a November 24 release - in droves. It's outselling albums from artists such as Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston and Susan Boyle.

Huge Smile

Have you pre-ordered Adam Lambert's debut album yet? If not, you're in the minority!

Indeed, Lambert has a number of reasons to smile. His relationship with Drake LaBry is going well, and he seems poised to break numerous records for one's first-ever CD.

The crooner himself would never say it, but it's all a great, giant Eff You to the close-minded bigots that have been protesting his concerts. Stay strong, Adam! We can't wait for your album.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Based on its impressive ratings to so far, millions of people around the country love The CW's Vampire Diaries.

But there's one important individual that is especially pleased with the series: L.J. Smith, the author that penned the novels on which this small screen version is based.

"I think they have done an incredible job of interpreting it, especially presenting it for a teen audience," she told MTV. "I love the music. I love the cinematography, I think the cast is fabulous. I especially like Damon. Ian Somerhalder does very well. But I really, really like the Elena that they picked, Nina Dobrev... she's a great actress. And I love the Stefan that they've picked."

We love them all, too, but we're especially taken with Somerhalder.

Facing inevitable comparisons to Robert Pattinson and the Twilight Saga, Somerhalder has created a unique character, one that can go from sweet to savage in seconds. These screen shots are a great example:

  • Ian as Damon
  • Fangs Bared

You really don't wanna make Damon Salvatore angry; or hungry, for that matter.

Have you been watching Vampire Diaries? Are you happy with it?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Eddie Furlong is best known for playing John Connor in Terminator 2.

But dealing with dangerous cyborgs to sent to kill him may have been a more pleasant experience than the actor's divorce proceedings with Rachael Kneeland.

In court documents, Kneeland claims her soon-to-be-ex used drugs, attacked her and threatened her life; charges that Furland's rep, R.J. Rousso considers outlandish.

Rachael Kneeland

"Mr. Furlong vehemently denies all allegations that have been made and is currently working with his legal team to have this temporary restraining order extinguished," said Rousso. "Unfortunately, the two parties are going through a very contentious divorce and custody battle. Eddie's main concern is his son, Ethan, and moving forward with his life."

Rousso adds that his client has been sober for five years.

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