Because our standard weekly recaps are clearly not enough to quench your thirst for The Bachelor gossip, commentary and insight, The Hollywood Gossip's own Bachelor Babe will be sharing her thoughts on each episode with us as well.
This week, she simply offers a few (hundred, at times) words for each of the aspiring Mrs. Jason Mesnicks, and for the hunky Bachelor himself ...
Nikki – Sorry you got kicked off I guess. In the future you should know that you’re never going to get a guy by being so weepy, your boyfriend of 11 years should have told you that. Try laughing instead, but don’t turn into one of those super giggly girls. No one will like you then either.
Molly – You are so cute and adorable. I wish we could be best friends and get fast food together. We’re like a shake and fries, girl. And btw, it’s not the Walk of Shame, it’s the Walk of FAME! You looked great in those red shorts.
Lauren – Quick word of advice: dominating a guy and threatening to be “pissed” if you don’t get the rose doesn’t seem to be the best plan. Maybe try singing again. If nothing else, the “real” song you wrote sounded like something The Bachelor could pick up as a theme song… Before you leave force yourself on a network exec and have them pick it up. (Okay, I didn’t come up with that - my friend Nicole did, but I think she’s right. They did it for Daughtry on American Idol…)
Crazy, insane Lauren from New Jersey gets pissed at Jason Mesnick during a faux General Hospital scene. Later, she would act similarly in real life.
Melissa – It was nice that Jason pulled you aside on the group date. And your kiss when you were talking seemed sincere and sweet. I think Jason really likes you. And I like you too. Melissa Mesnick does sound good, although Molly Mesnick has a nice ring too.
Megan – OMG! (Really Megan, you shouldn’t be saying that if you’re over the age of 12). Judging from your General Hospital performance, I wouldn’t be surprised if you have a few kissing movies in your past, if you know what I’m saying… we’ll look for those in the near future as a desperate attempt to get on TV again.