by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kim Kardashian is back!

Any celebrity gossip follower would ask the obvious question ("Where the heck did she go? She's been featured in every tabloid all summer long."), but the reality TV star swears she wasn't herself over the last few weeks.

The culprit? That dangerous blonde hair. Fortunately, Kim said goodbye to the lighter locks this week.

"Loved the blonde but that is my alter ego, I am back!" she Tweeted yesterday. "Feels good to be me again! I swear I was a different person w blonde hair."

Really? She seemed like the same attention-starved, money-hungry sell out to us.

Pedikure for Kim
  • Back to Black
  • Photo of Kim

Kim Kardashian has returned to her black roots. Call us cynical, but it's almost like she went blonde just to create headlines and garner attention for herself.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Starting tonight, Perez Hilton will take a brief break from drawing semen on celebrity photos and officially begin his side career as a music mogul.

How we wish we were kidding.

Rolling Stone, as if it had not jumped the shark long ago, is back to jump it again for good measure with a feature of the Perez Hilton Presents tour.

The roster for the blogger's tour: Norwegian singer Ida Maria, New Zealand chanteuse Ladyhawke and New York rockers Semi Precious Weapons.

Selecting the lineup was simple: Hilton went after artists he digs.

“Ida Maria is such a ferocious, raw performer,” he says of the indie rocker, who’s been known to bust out stripteases onstage while performing her tune “I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked.” “Live, she kind of scares me,” he admits.

Perez, who it's safe to say is not a fan of Joe Wilson based on the t-shirt he's wearing in the photo above, admits he wants to expand his brand and get into the music business. Even though he has no skills, he has considerable influence.

Often adding new tunes to his site, Hilton is a known almost as much for his love of music as for increasingly unfunny and uninteresting blog posts.

He gushes about Madonna and Lady Gaga. He was also an early fan of Sliimy, who snagged attention with his cover of Britney Spears’ “Womanizer.”

Now, he’s the debut signing on Hilton’s Perezcious Music label.

Continue reading this piece on Hilton here if you can take it.

by Free Britney at . Comments

John Mayer is a douchebag who is too obsessed with Twitter and himself.

We have to give him his due as a charitable guy, however, and reluctantly admit that some of his most recent Tweets are maybe a little bit funny.

The lame crooner took to Twitter to address rumors that he’s been "hooking up with Kristin Cavallari in secret" at the house of a mutual friend.

Here's how Mayer debunked that: “Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman... I have never high-fived Kristin Cavallari with my penis.”

That clears it up as well as one could expect. But he continues!

  • “I’m sure she’s a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together.”
  • “I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James.”
  • “My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli.”

Okay John. That's enough. Go back to writing songs.

A K-Cavs Pic

Despite tabloids' best efforts, John Mayer is not high-fiving Kristin Cavallari with his penis. Justin-Bobby Brescia will pretend to on The Hills soon enough, however.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Hugh Hefner claims his soon-to-be ex-wife cheated on him before their marriage failed - but that's not why he finally filed to divorce Kimberley Conrad.

The Playboy mogul decided to file, he says, after Conrad sued him in recent weeks for $5 million stemming from the sale of a home they owned together.

Kimberley Conrad, who married Hef in 1989 but had been separated from him since 1998, had been living in the house, which is located right next door to the Playboy mansion, with the couple's two kids, now ages 19 and 17.

As for why he stayed married 11 years after they essentially called off their relationship, Hef says, "At the time of the separation, I was happy to get a divorce. I only remained married for the sake of the children at her request."

He strongly denied that he owes Kimberley any money, and that he's faithfully paid her $250,000 a year as promised in a prenuptial agreement.

Frustrated, he says he's "paid every cent" that he agreed to in prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, and says "I've been generous to a fault."

Hefner notes that he was "faithful" during the time they were together, but says that Kimberley Conrad had cheated on him "early in the relationship."

He knows who the other man is, but won't say. Hillel Chodos, a lawyer for Conrad, said the filing "speaks for itself, and we'll respond in due course."

We don't know what kind of settlement these two will come to, but here's how much Hugh rakes in per month (yes, that's per month, not per year):

  • Salary from Playboy: $116,667
  • Social Security: $1,896
  • Dividends and interest: $121,099
  • Rental income: $17,058
  • Income from HMH Productions: $15,808
  • Pensions and retirement: $413
  • Other miscellaneous income: $17,639

That's a total monthly income of $290,580. Not bad, especially on top of the $306,548 in cash and $36,802,558 in stocks and bonds he says he owns.

Guess this helps explain how an octogenarian can score Crystal Harris. Although she may not want to get her hopes up about marriage after this.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We love Ellen DeGeneres. She's the funniest talk show host on the planet and she has a really hot wife.

Heck, she can even dance well, as Ellen is known to start each program with a bit of a boogie.

But, to our knowledge, the comedian has zero singing expertise, making her an odd choice to replace Paula Abdul as the fourth judge on American Idol. Still, that's exactly what's taken place, confirms Fox.

"DeGeneres will sit alongside Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi and offer her own unique perspective to the contestants throughout the competition," the network said in a statement.

New Idol Judge

Said DeGeneres, with her typically understated, dry wit:

"I'm thrilled to be the new judge on American Idol. I've watched since the beginning, and I've always been a huge fan. So getting this job is a dream come true, and think of all the money I'll save from not having to text in my vote."

Ellen - who is keeping her talk show host gig - added that she'll bring the perspective of someone "who is going to buy the music." That's fine and all, but Monday Night Football tried a similar idea with Dennis Miller as an announcer and it failed miserably.

Most upset about this decision will be Simon Cowell. DeGeneres is a lesbian. Unlike Abdul, her flirting with Cowell will likely be kept to a minimum.

Are you excited for Ellen to serve as a judge?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Getting relationship advice from Jennifer Aniston is kind of like taking a cooking class from Mischa Barton. But Jen has opened up about love again.

Thus, we must drop everything and transcribe her sage remarks.

In her new film Love Happens, Jennifer has a disastrous first date with Aaron Eckhart, But things haven't gotten quite so awful for her in real life.

Not quite.

"I have to say that luckily I haven't had one," Aniston says of first-date disasters.

"It's more that thing where you just want to go home and they're like 'So, do you want to go somewhere afterward?' And it's like, 'Um, no.'"

Astounding relationship advice and insight once again.

Pretty Jen

Jennifer Aniston, 40, says that she's never had to use a friend as a lifeline to call with a made-up emergency during a bad date. "Oh, God, no!" she laughed. "I haven't done that, but that's really funny! That happened in The Breakup!"

Linked romantically to many of her male co-stars over the years ("Every one," she sighs), the miserable girl says the rumors even started with Eckhart.

"It's so funny ... when we were first meeting for lunch, meeting with the director, they took a picture of us in the restaurant and said 'What's happening? Something must be happening! They're having lunch, my God!'" she says.

"But then, yeah, they figured out that we were doing a movie together."

For the most part, Aniston can handle it if she's portrayed inaccurately in the celebrity gossip media. As long as people still go see her movies and all.

"It doesn't bug me, if people don't believe it. That's all," she says. "I would just hate it if people actually believed any of it. Then it affects my work."

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

With apologies to Liam McDermott and both of Denise Richards' daughters, the most exploited celebrity baby alive has a birthday today.

Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead turns three years old, an occasion her pimp-like father will likely celebrate by taking her to mom Anna Nicole Smith's grave and inviting photographers along for the ride.

That's just how he rolls.

A year ago, Larry Birkhead milked this occasion for all the money he could, placing Dannielynn's adorable mug on the cover of a supermarket tabloid. It's the gift that keeps on giving cash into his bank account and years of therapy to his child.

Today, we just wanna wish Dannielynn a safe, happy, healty, unexploitive birthday. Hurry up and turn 18 so you can emancipate yourself from your money-hungry dad.

Daddy and Dannielynn
  • Dannielynn Birkhead
  • Us Cover Girl

** Update: Dannielynn actually turned three years old on September 7. But we stand by everything else in this story!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Need more proof that the economy is turning around? Lindsay Lohan has found a job!

The struggling actress and overall disaster of a human being has been named “artistic advisor” for Paris designer Emanuel Ungaro. Your guess is pretty much as good as ours as to what that actually means.

But Ungaro CEO and president Mounir Moufarrige sounded excited over the decision. Sort of.

Lindsay Picture

Got a clothing line coming out for anorexic drug addicts? Lindsay Lohan is your advisor!

“A designer only-led fashion house isn’t enough, so we’re adding a super consumer who gives us a direct channel to consumers,” he said. “Odds are it could work. I think the noise level around Lindsay will be very, very big.”

That's true. The sound of a train wrecking is typically quite loud.

As for Lohan, she's just psyched she'll be able to pay her mortgage finally.

“When I’m involved in a project, I give my all to it,” she said. “I feel like there’s a correlation between everything I do, whether it’s pop music or film. I’ve always played a big part in what I wear, the costumes. Clothing is something that’s so expressive in so many ways. It really interests me. To be in a position where I’m working with a fashion house in Paris sets it apart from every other celebrity brand.”

If past Lindsay Lohan fashion is any indication, that is not a good thing.

by Free Britney at . Comments

U.S. President Barack Obama was giving a speech to Congress Wednesday night about health care. Until Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina decided to interject.

Here's how the exchange (if you can call it that) went:

  • Barack Obama: " ... There are also those who claim that our reform efforts would insure illegal immigrants. This, too, is false ... the reforms I'm proposing would not apply to those who are here illegally."
  • Joe Wilson: "You lie!"

Truly, the classiest, most effective way to disagree with someone.

Check out the video of Joe Wilson's "You Lie!" moment ...

You might expect such a response to Obama's address to school children ... actually, no you wouldn't. Five-year-olds typically have better manners than this.

Perhaps it was a perfect storm of controversial topics helped evoke Wilson's bizarre, negative and universally-criticized outburst. It was the South Carolinan who had been reinforcing the belief that health care reform includes "Death Panels."

Wilson called it an "end-of-life counseling program, which has been highlighted by former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as a program which could lead to seniors being encouraged to seek less care to protect the government´s bottom line."

Minutes before Wilson's outburst, Obama's speech debunked that: "It's a lie, plain and simple," he said, which brought most of Congress to its collective feet.

After the speech, reaction to Wilson's remark was bipartisan.

Sen. John McCain, among many others, said the outburst was "totally disrespectful" and demanded that Rep. Wilson apologize to the president, which he did.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

This is disgraceful.

For years, Kim Kardashian took pride in her body, telling various celebrity gossip outlets that she was proud of her curves. She served as a great role model for women in this regard.

Kim Kardashian on Rodeo Drive

But then the folks at QuickTrim came calling and Kardashian chose the money over her fans. Kim and sister Khloe have been shilling for the product ever since, despite its unhealthy side effects and the unenviable message to young girls around the country that it sends.

In the latest issue of Life & Style, for instance, the siblings are totally photoshopped on grace the cover and pretend as though QuickTrim is the most magical weight loss system ever invented.

Says Khloé: It's always been hard to lose weight in general, and I'm still losing weight, but right now, I feel like I've lost all my fat and just want to tone up. It's really because of QuickTrim [a system of supplements customized for various fitness goals]. I've had weight battles my entire teenage and adult life, but this time when I tried losing it, the weight just fell off. It was easy.

Says Kim: I trained so hard for my fitness DVDs, Fit in Your Jeans by Friday, and I just needed an extra push. QuickTrim completely took it to this level.

Wow. It's almost like they're reading from a script.

A few notes:

  • QuickTrim is a cleansing system that forces one to essentially starve oneself, flushing one's body out in a manner that no doctor is his right mind would ever recommend;
  • Kim and Khloe are being paid a lot of money for this endorsement;
  • Get Thin Fast is grammatically incorrect, moronic editors at Life & Style. It should read: Get Thin Quickly... and Dangerously.

In the end, take Kim and Khloe's advice on pathetic ways to garner attention for yourself. Don't listen to a word they say about dieting.

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