by Free Britney at . Comments

Free of her hideous reverse mullet and even more revolting husband, Kate Gosselin is set to return to TV later this year in a brand new TLC series of her very own.

According to reports, Kate will be "trying different jobs and tasks and showing how she performs in different environments" on the upcoming as-yet-untitled show.

Hmm. Pretty sure that was the synopsis of New York Goes to Work.

Only Tiffany Pollard is more entertaining. Who wants to see a grating nag work at McDonalds? Don't you have to have some appeal to make that worth watching?

Sorry, but no hair extensions can alter that personality.

This is what we imagine Kate's new show will be like.

TLC has not confirmed plans for the show, which sources say is slated to start in late spring or early summer, but is in talks to put Kate back on TV for some reason.

Plans for a Kate Gosselin talk show, conceptualized as a new take on The View for working moms, were mercifully scrapped last month after execs weren't thrilled.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Friday, January 29 is a special day. It marks the 35th birthday of Rachel Uchitel, the very first Tiger Woods mistress (well, the first we learned of) - and you're invited!

What, did you expect a quiet night in?

Rachel Uchitel and Husband

The Manhattan club promoter will be partying with friends and "Celebrity DJs" at the club 251PB in Palm Beach, Florida, where she's been staying since early December.

On the invite, Rachel Uchitel is trumpeted as a "Celebrity Socialite." Guess it's better than "Celebrity adulterer" or "Tiger Woods' Crazy, Ambien-Driven Sex Fiend" ...

Come party with "celebrity socialite" Rachel Uchitel!

Reports of Tiger's affair with Rachel allegedly led to an epic fight with Elin Woods November 27 and the car crash that exposed Tiger's tawdry tales to the world.

Asked about her alleged romantic involvement with Woods, Rachel Uchitel has never commented - reportedly because she's gotten big bucks to keep quiet about it.

Sources report that Woods paid Rachel Uchitel, who the golfer was smitten with and might still be, upwards of $3 million to stay quiet about their steamy affair.

Ask her about that January 29 at Club 251PB! Guess her seven-figure payout doesn't prevent her from cashing in on her notoriety ... just explaining why she's notorious.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The 2008 U.S. presidential election is over and done with, but a new book called Game Change by New York Magazine's John Heilemann and Time's Mark Halperin has stirred up a lot of interesting gossip about the most recent White House race.

While not providing that much truly new or startling, the book has offered tremendous fodder for national political conversation. Some of the broached topics:

  • That Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) referred to Barack Obama as “light-skinned” and having "no Negro dialect unless he wanted to.”
  • That the affair between John Edwards and Rielle Hunter, his campaign videographer, was known about and kept quiet by three of his aides early.
  • That John Edwards is a delusional egomaniac whose aides called his wife Elizabeth "an abusive, intrusive, paranoid, condescending crazy woman."

  • That former President Bill Clinton was involved in an affair in 2006 that many thought would derail Hillary Clinton's 2008 run for the presidency. The woman is not named in the book, but it wouldn't be Bill's first cheating rumor.
  • That Clinton offended Ted Kennedy deeply while trying to win his endorsement for his wife's campaign by saying the following about then-candidate Obama: "A few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee."
  • That John McCain's vetting of Sarah Palin was so woefully inadequate that no one from his campaign even interviewed her husband or opponents.
  • That Sarah Palin believed Saddam Hussein to be behind the attacks on 9/11, and did not understand that North and South Korea were separate.
  • That Palin is a mentally unstable person prone to wild mood swings, and was hopelessly lost in a "catatonic stupor" at one point in the campaign.

True? We may never know. But we certainly can debate - and agree that Edwards and Palin create the most entertaining reading material.

by Free Britney at . Comments

She may be only 23, but The Hills' Heidi Montag is already closing in on that many plastic surgeries. While that sounds like an exaggeration, but it's really not.

Her new single is called "I'll Do It." The lyrics suggest that she is referring to something sexual, but these words could also describe her take on any operation.

Nose. Lips. Boobs. Done, done and done. That was before she decided to go under the knife and have a staggering 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day.

"For the past three years, I've thought about what to have done," Heidi tells People, which features the plastic princess on its cover. "I'm beyond obsessed."

Plastic Surgery Addict

Has she gone too far? Depends on the paychecks, right Heidi?

If nothing else, Heidi Montag has at least been fully open about all the operations she's had to turn herself into a generic, bleach-blonde Hollywood bimbo.

But on November 20, Montag took her transformation to a new level. Keeping her family in the dark, she continued her journey to become "the best me."

Pretty soon, "the best her" will resemble Michael Jackson at this rate. Seriously, if she thinks this is what she needs to become a pop star, God help us.

Good alterations? YOU tell us! Heidi looked hotter ...

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol after this season.

This news is very sad for those of us who appreciate Simon's sarcasm, wit, honesty and entertainment value as a whole. But it also offers an opportunity for Idol to truly branch out.

Sure, Ellen DeGeneres as a judge (starting February 9) is a departure from the show's typical, music-driven basis for selecting its panelists. However, we're talking about change fans can truly believe in...

... which brings us to our first proposed replacement for Cowell. He, along with many of the options below, might not seem equipped for the job. But hear us out, and then let us know who you wanna see sit in Simon's seat in 2011:

Barack Obama: As someone who once got 66,882,230 votes in a single day, he's the only guy more popular than the show. Or at least better known. Plus, can you imagine the criticism? "Look ... Kris ... You possess a terrific talent, but at the end of the day, Adam possesses the kind of change that can bring the music world together."

Nelson from The Simpsons: Really, how much more analysis do 90 percent of the performances need than a simple: "HA-ha!"

Donald Trump: Every critique of his will be the absolute BEST!

OBAMA, TRUMP, WOODS OR SOMEONE ELSE? WHO SHOULD BE THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL JUDGE?

Gilbert Arenas. Pros: Will bring hip vibe, comic relief to the panel. Cons: May pull piece on a contestant after a crappy performance, as a "joke" of course.

Tiger Woods: He has a lot of free time these days and knows a lot about young talent. Just keep him away from the female contestants.

Carson Daly: If only he actually existed.

Simon Cow: He'll be moo-ved by the ballads each week and will always udder praise. Oh, wait, sorry, we thought we were writing jokes for Jay Leno.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Vanessa Lopez, the woman filing a harassment lawsuit against NBA star Shaquille O'Neal, claims the Diesel sent a menacing text message to a friend.

The quote: "Dis is da numba shut dat bitch up!"

Lopez, who claims to have been in a five-year relationship with Shaq, says it went sour after Vanessa missed her period and Shaq lashed out at her.

The Cleveland Cavaliers center allegedly reacted angrily, accusing her of sleeping with another guy, prompting Lopez to end the relationship, she says.

But then Shaq's family got involved.

Vanessa Lopez Picture

Vanessa Lopez is playing a little legal hack-a-Shaq.

Fearing for her safety, Vanessa Lopez claims Shaq's 6'6" and 6'8" sisters made verbal and physical threats against her. Besides his large, powerful, wealthy family, Lopez feared Shaq's law enforcement connections and  right to bear arms.

She also says the big fella hacked into her voice mail and text messages, using sophisticated software, and made harassing phone calls to her.

Another woman, Dominica Westling, has reportedly been romantically linked to O'Neal, who is in the process of divorcing wife Shaunie, as well.

Vanessa Lopez is no saint herself, having had shady past run-ins with three other NBA "boyfriends" - Kenyon Martin, Delonte West and JJ Redick.

All three of those relationships ended contentiously. She doesn't strike us as a serial money- and fame-grubbing NBA groupie by any means.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It's the year of the vampire.

In the latest issue of Cosmopolitan, the magazine features its "Fun Fearless Males" of 2010 - and a pair of pretend blood suckers lead the way.

Paul Wesley and Kellan Lutz grace the issue's cover, as each opens up about random topics (Lutz on his vices: "I need sugar all the time and I’m obsessed with lip balm." Wesley on single life: "I can relate to being in love with one person. Dating around never appealed to me.") and each simply looks smoldering.

Loyal THG readers ought to know where we're going with this:

Compare The Vampire Diaries and The Twilight Saga studs below and then vote in our poll:

  • Vampire Diaries Star
  • Underwear Spokesman

Who would you rather...

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

What the what, Jennifer Love Hewitt?!?

The large-breasted Ghost Whisperer star appeared on Lopez Tonight last night and offered unusual, disturbing advice to women around the world.

Simply put, the actress said she often "vagazzles" her private area, making it sparkle like a disco ball. Like host George Lopez, we pretty much have no words for this, especially as we vomit at the thought of the only man that can vouch for the accuracy of this statement:

Jamie Kennedy. Barf!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Looks like reports from earlier this week about Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman still being at odds were true, based on the latter's recent Twitter tirade.

After laying low for several weeks, the douchebag's ex-girlfriend tore into him this morning on her Twitter page, telling the father of eight to get a job.

Hailey Glassman Tweets from a few hours ago:

  • JG get off ur ass or whoever is riding u - lol - Stop watching Law and Order N get a job so u can pay 4 ur fam+pay me back the money I loaned u!
  • Finally other people (NYPD) can see through the "textbook sociopaths" (Google sociopath aka JG) lies ... lol - sorry I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Wow. She's right, dude has many a mouth to feed. Plus, Law & Order is on all the time. Jon doesn't actually come up when you Google "sociopath," sadly.

Hailey Glassman, Jon Gosselin Picture

Jon and Hailey in less hostile, violent times.

These unsubtle comments are clear references to the money Hailey says Jon owes her, and the fact that New York police investigating the "ransacking" of Jon Gosselin's apartment now believe the event may have been a publicity stunt.

In particular, a large Japanese chef's knife pinning a note - allegedly signed by Hailey - to Jon's dresser strikes NYPD investigators as potentially staged.

"The more cops have looked into it, the more they feel like it was a publicity stunt," a police source said. "They absolutely think the knife part is B.S."

Despite the skepticism, the case remains open. A criminal complaint was filed after Jon said he found his New York apartment ransacked December 26.

Jon, who was rumored to be with new piece Morgan Christie at the time, blamed Hailey right off the bat. His lawyer boasted that she'd go to jail for it.

The events, whichever version of which you are inclined to believe, occurred as Hailey moved out of the apartment they shared and the couple split.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Following her widely-criticized Twitter rants and cries for attention, Tila Tequila had her apperance on Larry King canceled last night.

But People has gone ahead with a feature on Casey Johnson's quasi widow, who opens up to the publication about first meeting the woman she refers to as her "wife." Read the excerpts below at your own nauseating risk...

On her first impression of Casey: One day I texted and she was the cutest thing ever. She was nothing I had envisioned. I thought, I cannot believe this is the Casey Johnson people used to tell me about.

On their first date: She was so nervous at my house. Dropping things. I could tell she was nervous... We just ended up laughing all night. We just fell in love.

T Squared Photo

On their engagement: One night she comes over and she was so nervous. I was like what's wrong with you, calm down!" Tequila recalls. "She was so nervous and so cute and finally she pulled out this fat ring that I had never seen before.

On Casey's daughter: I was going to adopt Ava and we decided she would call her Mommy and me Mommy T. We were going to have a big family.

On reaction to Casey's death: My therapist put me on suicide watch. I've been getting help but I'm fine now. I know Casey wants me to be alive and she hates seeing me like this. She always hated it when she would see me cry.

In related news, Tila has posted 37 Tweets in the time it took you to read this article. She's good.

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