by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Hey, New Jersey residents, have you thanked Danielle Staub yet for putting your state on the map?

Hurry up and do so - and then read our Real Housewives correspondents' latest take on the antics of Danielle and company, courtesy of last night's episode...

Let me start out by saying that watching this show in HD is a scary experience.  My cable company finally upgraded Bravo to HD and while I was initially excited about this change, now I don’t know if this is a good thing, especially when Danielle is on the screen. 

You can see every smear of her pancake makeup, the shine reflecting off her artificially protruding cheekbones, and all the divots and pockmarks in her extremely freckled chest.  If I squint, I can almost see the puncture marks from the Botox injections she has had.  It’s the stuff of nightmares.

The Housewives Girl

At the beginning of the episode, Shirtless Joe takes the girls to a karate center.  (Side note:  Is it just me or does that middle daughter, Gabriella, look NOTHING like the other ones or her parents?  As the “Sesame Street” song says, one of these things is not like the others.  Just saying.) 

The girls are padded up for protection and then Shirtless Joe puts them in a circle and tries to get them to fight.  It’s sort of gross watching Shirtless watch his girls pound each other, knowing what guys think about girls fighting other girls.  “If you beat each other up I’m going to buy you a nice hot dog,” he tells them.  Let me remind everyone that one of these children is three years old. 

The girls proceed to fight using no karate principles or skills whatsoever.  “Don’t mess with my girls.  They’re tough cookies,” Teresa says. But aren’t they divas, too?  Can one be both a diva and a karate master?  This is a question for the ages.

Elsewhere, Danielle takes her tortured daughters to a self-defense lesson and, thrillingly, Discount Danny is there!  Let’s be honest:  He probably has no home so he just goes from one Danielle-focused activity to the next so he can be inside where it’s warm. 

Danny seems to think that he is going to be teaching the ladies how to effectively beat down a ho, particularly the kind of ho who will pull your weave out of your skull.  By “teaching” I mean that Danny stands in the corner in his Wal-Mart jeans watching the women with a creepy smile while professionals do the teaching.

Danielle in Training

To give Danielle something to visualize as she punches, it is decided that the instructor’s fists will be named “Teresa” and “Jacqueline."  Danielle punches with vigor and glee while her daughters look on.

Don’t you wonder what that older daughter is thinking?  The little one is probably still in the “I love my mommy” phase but the older one, Christine, has to realize her mom is bat-shit.  “God, you’re into this,” says Christine as she sees the hellfire in her mom’s eyes.  “It only takes one good smack to the head to make a person never walk again,” Danielle explains to us.  “I need to watch my back.”

Advice for Christine:  Choose an out-of-state college or, even better, an out-of-country college.  You can escape from your mom!

Fortunately for us, the boxing field trip is not the end of Discount Danny’s presence in the episode. We are treated to one more look at him when he meets Danielle at a coffee shop to talk about Ashley and The Night of the Pulled Weave.  Also in attendance is Danny’s nameless/voiceless sidekick.  Who exactly is that guy?  He’s shown up with Danny in a few episodes now and all he ever does is raise his eyebrows and nod his head.  He appears to know even less English than Shirtless Joe. 

Why on earth do these grown men care so much about Danielle and her endless fights?

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

A shocking new report suggests that Oksana Grigorieva agreed to a $15 million deal with Mel Gibson that would have kept their now-infamous tapes secret.

Even more shocking? That she ultimately left it on the table.

During child custody mediations in May, their lawyers worked out a financial deal for her to receive $15 million in child support, a house and other assets.

The two have an eight-month-old daughter, Lucia. Oksana promised something in return for the deal - all "evidence" in the case would remain confidential.

The "evidence" includes the Mel Gibson tapes, which Oksana's lawyers played parts of for Mel's lawyers. The n-word rant was not played at the mediation.

A source close to the matter tells TMZ: "The tapes loomed large ... the word 'tapes' was never used in the agreement, but it was central to the deal."

Oksana Grigorieva and Mel Gibson both signed a "short form agreement," a bare-bones contract outlining the broad components the custody settlement.

The lawyers then drafted a long form agreement which contained specifics, but at that point she refused to sign the deal, claiming that she felt coerced.

Mel never paid Oksana under the deal, as the short contract didn't spell out the specifics of payment and Oksana refused to sign the longer one that did.

Meanwhile, some of Grigorieva's text messages to Gibson have surfaced that could make their secretly-recorded conversations inadmissible in court.

Oksana clearly recorded the conversations without Mel's knowledge, and if a person isn't told the conversation is being recorded, it's not admissible.

Of course, if she feared for her safety and believed the call related to the commission of a felony (and he did threaten to kill her), it's a legal gray area.

However, reports say she sent Mel several text messages in which she states she recorded the phone calls because Mel didn't keep his part of the deal.

Mel's lawyers will likely use Oksana's texts to prove she was after money. Her side counters that if she were after money, she would have just signed.

What do you think?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Mike Sorrentino is taking control of the situation. Pun ... intended!

Perhaps the best known member of the Jersey Shore cast has signed a deal for a third season. Now his goal is to get the rest of his raise-seeking crew on board.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, all eight of the principal stars were close to signing new contracts today after initially asking for $30,000 per episode.

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley and the rest of their partners in crime made $5,000 an episode in Season 1 and $10,000 per for Season 2.

Considering the first season was only nine episodes, that really wasn't that much. Season 2 will feature a robust 24 episodes, giving the cast a big raise.

Yet they wanted more still, and it looks like they'll get it.

  • Situation Pic
  • Situation Shirtless

No word if The Sitch's contract has a steroids clause. As in he must use them.

MTV released the following statement: "We don't comment on any contractual conversations. Season 2 premieres July 29 and production is on schedule."

Rest assured, The Situation is already ahead of schedule. Rumor has it he was offered a one-time $60,000-$180,000 bonus to sign on for Season 3 and 4.

The network supposedly thinks The Situation, Snooki, and Pauly D are the only three non-expendable stars, but hopefully the gang will remain intact.

"Mike has been packed and ready to go for days for Jersey Shore 3 and is excited to move forward with the shooting," his manager said in a statement.

"After hearing there was a rumored strike, Mike decided in order to get Season 3 done, he was going to have to lead the pack and wants to encourage the rest of his cast to follow his lead and return for another amazing season of Jersey Shore."

"Mike is confident the rest of the cast will rally around him as they have in the past. The Situation has always been respected and well-liked by the entire cast. He felt that he could break the stalemate by putting these rumors to rest."

Ever-altruistic, and always a leader.

by Free Britney at . Comments

What happened to that stuff about moving home to Florida?

Looks like Vienna Girardi isn't missing Jake Pavelka very much, nor does she have any intention of laying low or letting her 15 minutes of fame expire.

A Double Life

Last weekend, The Bachelor star headed to the Sin City with her friends to celebrate her single status after her sham engagement to Jake unraveled.

Vienna hosted a Single & Fabulous party Saturday at Tao Beach, where she even tossed out Team Vienna tank tops and offered shots to partygoers.

Hopefully she kept the drunken crying to a minimum.

SINGLE AND FABULOUS: Well, at least the first part.

Interestingly, her crew that night included Jesse Csincsak, who Deanna Pappas picked a few seasons ago on The Bachelorette and broke up with soon after.

"He was just giving her advice," a source says.

Dude certainly knows what she's going through, although only one of them can be frequently seen in MySpace pics wearing next to nothing on Spring Break.

Later that night, Vienna and her posse continued partying over at Lavo, where she kindly offered free shots to all of the bachelorettes in the house.

No word if she has been in contact with Lee Smith, the ex-boyfriend who says he was putting it to her while she was still engaged to Jake Pavelka.

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood both have some great hair.

Both stars recently made a French connection of sorts, with plaiting just at the hairline to keep their waves beachy. It's a look that works best on both Jessica, who recently started dating Eric Johnson, and Carrie, who just married Mike Fisher.

Which Tony Romo ex-girlfriend looked best, though? Vote below!

Jess vs. Carrie

Who has better hair?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Famed defense attorney Robert Shapiro took on Lindsay Lohan's case last week on the condition that she follows the judge's orders and reports to jail.

He seemed like just what she needed, but shockingly, Shapiro stepped away Monday for unknown reasons after meeting with Judge Marsha Revel.

The troubled star, who is said to be living in denial, is due to be formally sentenced this morning in court for violating the terms of her DUI probation.

At least she seems in relatively good spirits.

"The only 'bookings' that i'm familiar with are Disney Films, never thought that I'd be 'booking' into Jail... eeeks," Lindsay wrote on her Twitter page.

Former girlfriend Samantha Ronson, who has supported Lohan through her ordeal, Tweeted back, "well - you haven't lost your sense of humour."

Lindsay Lohan: Sad

Barring a miracle, Lindsay Lohan is headed to jail today.

It is not immediately clear who will be representing Lohan at the Tuesday morning hearing in Beverly Hills Superior Court where she is ordered to surrender.

Although he has been assisting her, Shapiro never formally became her attorney and was expected to take that title after meeting with Judge Revel Monday.

Technically, her lawyer is Shawn Chapman Holley, who parted ways with Lohan after the star's last hearing but never signed the papers removing herself.

Revel would have had to replace Holley with Robert Shapiro as attorney of record. This was thought to be a mere formality, but it never actually took place.

Lohan was given 90 days in jail for violating probation terms from her 2007 DUI conviction, but likely will serve only a fraction of that due to overcrowding.

She had (thankfully) entered a sober living facility with ties to Shapiro last week, but then her assistant was seen removing her belongings earlier Monday.

Stay tuned ...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

All of a sudden, Demi Lovato and Kim Kardashian are like that couple everyone hates to be around.

I love you more! No, I love you more!

It all started when Lovato told People she considers Kim a fashion icon, explaining: “I just love the way that she dresses. She wears clothes that fit her body... I’ve been embracing my body as I’ve been getting older, I’m starting to have curves and I’m embracing it and kind of looking to her style to help me out with that.”

It's true: Kardashian did earn Fashion Choice of the Week from THG a couple days ago. But not for the reasons Demi is babbling about.

Taking Herself In

Never one to not publicly acknowledge a compliment, Kim took to her blog today and replied:

Demi is one of the few young stars who manages to show off her own unique style and sense of self while still keeping her looks age-appropriate. I think when young girls look up to you, it’s important to set a good example, and that’s exactly what Demi is doing with her style. Keep it up, girl, you look fab! :)

It really makes me feel so happy to know that young girls are proud of their shapely bodies. Curves are beautiful, girls!!!

Really, Kim? Then what the heck are you doing on every tabloid cover talking about your weight loss and in every interview talking about QuickTrim?!?

What an attention-starved hypocrite.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Rachel Uchitel just got fired Donald Trump before she was even hired.

The real estate mogul / reality star offered Tiger Woods' mistress a spot on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice, which she accepted verbally, sources say. 

Now that she's joining the cast of Celebrity Rehab instead, which we reported earlier today, Trump takes it back, questioning the professional adulterer's move.

"It's a terrible decision, he said. "We have zero interest in her now."

Rough, but the man does make a point: "Look at what Celebrity Apprentice did for Piers Morgan. He's getting Larry King's job. She made a bad mistake."

UCHITEL SHE BLEW IT: The Donald says The Mistress dropped the ball.

"Celebrity Apprentice is a huge show. Celebrity Rehab is not. I have 10 people who want to be on the show for every slot that's available. I'm moving on."

Celebrity Rehab sources say Rachel Uchitel originally turned it down, but producers doubled their offer and Dr. Drew personally visited her, so she agreed.

Uchitel will make around $500,000 for her stint on the show, or about 5 percent of what Tiger Woods allegedly paid her to never, ever talk about him.

Having an affair with Tiger is almost as lucrative as being Tiger.

A rep from VH1 claims Uchitel, who will be joined by Jeremy London, Janice Dickinson, Jason Wahler and Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis on the program, is hoping to kick an addiction to railing married celebrities prescription drugs.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Sometimes, women just need to get off.

That's the reasoning Jennifer Love Hewitt partly uses for why some females turn to the prostitution business, something she claims to know a lot about because she's starring in The Client List, a TV movie that airs tonight on Lifetime.

In the film, Hewitt's character plays a mother that sells her precious flower in an attempt to support her family.

On Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM radio show today, the actress said women fall into this line of work due to economic concerns and because "it's sort of helping them in their personal lives... we have needs just like men do, and if men can go out and get their needs met, we will, too."

Jennifer Love Photo

How long before Jennifer Love Hewitt poses for Playboy? Men around the world are anxious to know!

Wait... so women that aren't getting any at home go out and sell themselves to strangers?!?

A lack of a sex life may explain an affair, Jen, but not prostitution.

Let us get Ashley Dupre on the phone and we'll settle this matter once and for all. Give us a minute...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Sarah Palin has weighed in over a planned mosque near New York's Ground Zero - an idea she took to her Twitter page to encourage Muslims to refudiate.

Yes, you read that right. Refudiate.

“Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn’t it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate,” she Tweeted.

No word if she refudiates the engagement of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston, but last week, she coined the term regarding NAACP allegations of racist elements within the Tea Party movement, saying “[The Obamas] could refudiate" them.

After much mockery, she then Tweeted this:

“‘Refudiate,’ ‘misunderestimate,’ ‘wee-wee’d up.’ English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!”

Yes. However jokingly, Sarah Palin has compared herself to Shakespeare.

Refudiate This!

Perhaps more amazing than her non-word choice was the message of the Tweet, seen by some as a cynical effort to stoke ugly anti-Muslim sentiment.

The building's planners, the American Society for Muslim Advancement and the Cordoba Initiative, say it's modeled on religious and community centers.

The 13-story, $100 million building will include an arts center, gym and a swimming pool, as well as a mosque, two blocks away from Ground Zero.

CBS and NBC nixed an ad opposing it from the National Republican Trust PAC that melded footage of the 9/11 attacks with sounds of Muslim prayer.

A recent poll showed a majority of New Yorkers oppose the plan. However, an aide in Mayor Michael Bloomberg's City Hall hit back at Sarah, Tweeting:

"@SarahPalinUSA mind your business."

"@SarahPalinUSA whose hearts? Racist hearts?"

Zing! The aide, Andrea Batista Schlesinger, deleted both tweets after posting them, with Bloomberg's staff stating she was expressing her opinion alone.

She later explained: "Deleted post bc I regretted curt response. But fact is, I believe this city belongs to everyone - and no one more than another"

"Unlike @SarahPalinUSA, I was born here grew up here. Was showing off to a visitor today. Look at how beautiful and diverse my city is. I felt pain of 9/11, the trauma."

"I got through it by believing in my city. Not through fear and hate."

Bloomberg has defended the plan, arguing that blocking it would impinge on religious freedom, and has denounced calls to look into its funding.

 

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