It's easy to find Kim Kardashian nude these days. Just turn on the Internet.

The same can be said for Tricia Helfer. Got a copy of Playboy lying around?

But we hate to break the following news to you, gentlemen: Don't hold your breath (or any body parts) waiting to see Jennifer Love Hewitt naked. The sub-par actress says it won't be happening any time soon:

"I got lots of those (offers to take off her clothes). But I can't. It's just not me ... I feel like there's still a world full of people out there who think there's not much more to me than the girl who can wear tiny tops. So if I had actually gone and done those things (shedding the tiny top) to try to prove something, where would I be?"

Ummm ... as well-known and well-liked as Antonella Barba, perhaps? Or maybe kicking it on a beach with a nude Sienna Miller?

You really gotta think about this, Love.

We've already showed you near nude Christina Aguilera photos from Maxim. Now, here's the interview that goes along with them:

A lot has changed since the last time we talked, eh? You're officially off the market. Is your husband cool with your sex symbol status?
That's partly why I fell in love with him. In my art I tend to be very sexual. I've always felt connected with my sexuality. I love [Jordan Bratman] because he has his own goals. He doesn't latch on to what I do. And because there are so many double standards, it's very important to me as a female to play upon sexuality and be very strong while incorporating that in my art and work.

What kind of double standards do you encounter in the music business?
Well, imagine if a woman released an album with the word sex in it, like Justin Timberlake's FutureSex/LoveSounds. Instead of feeling liberated by it, she'd be labled and called names…That's not to say I wouldn't do it.

How did a regular guy manage to score such a hot, gutsy superstar?
I've always liked normal guys. Guys in the entertainment business tend to be self-absorbed. They can also overlove what I do or get intimidated by it, which makes it difficult.

Is it hard to maintain your privacy - and keep your music under wraps - these days?
Yes, and it makes me sad for the entire music industry. You can download anything for free. You can look at anything, anytime, anywhere. The business is definitely more tabloid-driven than it was five years ago.

The Hollywood Gossip note: We think Antonella Barba understands.

There seems to be a new celebrity divorce in the tabloids every week. How do you guys keep it going? Role-playing? Costumes?
How did you get into my bedroom? [laughs] We always have fun. I like to play doctor.

Back to Basics has a track called "Still Dirrty," but some people say you're softening up. True?
Never!

But in the past you were always feuding with people like Pink, Eminem, and Jennifer Love Hewitt…
So much of that is a tabloid thing. When the media saw that my image was more aggressive, they ran with it. So many things get misconstrued. I have no interest in it. Life is dramatic enough. I don't need to create drama.

Then why did you write the song "F.U.S.S.," which stands for "F-ck You, Scott Storch," directed at your former producer?
That's a way of burying my experience with him. We did great work on Stripped. He was like a brother. Then he started working with other solo artists, and I felt like there should have been a little loyalty. When I tried to work with him again, he made uncalled-for demands. It was disappointing that someone would get affected like that.

Do you ever listen to your own music during sex?
There's no way I could do that. I'd be too busy analyzing my voice. I get very nitpicky. I like listening to Thom Yorke from Radiohead; that's good sexy-time music.

Good tip. What's next for you? Kids? Politics? Christina Aguilera, movie star?
I want to do movies more than ever. I've been reading scripts, but nothing has interested me. I don't want to play a singer - unless it's completely different from me and my music. When I step into acting, I really want to be acting.

Brandon Davis - the oil heir and L.A. nightclub regular who brought the word "Firecrotch" into the vernacular (at least as it applies to Lindsay Lohan) - did what he does best again over the weekend.

Making a total ass of himself.

At the 26th birthday party of his BFF, Paris Hilton, Saturday night, the gent we have come to affectionately know as Greasy Bear showed some of the lodging heiress' guests home early in disgust - which left poor Paris in tears.

Davis' boorish behavior at the lavish 26th-birthday bash began around 10, when he started throwing flowers at Paula Abdul, who was supposed to sing "Happy Birthday" to Paris.

Then, it was the flower-holders he was chucking.

Finally, after asking Paula to "lick my [bleep]," he mocked her by talking in a fake-Arabic accent. The American Idol judge bolted early, even before crooning.

Then, Brandon decided to ingratiate himself to Courtney Love by grabbing her, making her straddle his waist, and summing up his feelings for her succinctly:

"I want to squirt on you."

Never mind the fact that Courtney's young daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, was right there. Good work, Greasy. Davis is about as classy as Antonella Barba.

After all this, as well as some broken glasses and candles, Paris broke down and kicked Greasy Bear out. Is this the end of their friendship? Does anyone give a rat's ass about Brandon Davis? Stay tuned.

After a whole two days in rehab, Britney Spears finally had an opportunity to spend some quality time with her two sons, Sean Preston, 17 months, and Jayden James, 5 months.

Of course, if you believe a certain Britney nanny diary, she's only interested in spending time with the spawn of Kevin Federline when it's convenient.

In any case, Britney, who had been spotted at Promises rehab center smoking cigarettes and talking with fellow patients, had a chance to bond with her babies Saturday night. Britney Spears' mother, Lynne, arrived first in a seperate car ahead of a Black Navigator containing her grandsons.

Two hours later, Lynne, Sean Preston and Jayden James departed seperately again with Lynne off to the Spears family retreat house and the boys back to the safety of Kevin Federline's home in Tarzana.

Britney Spears' father, Jamie Spears, who urged his daughter to get help during an intimate dinner last weekend, told FOX News on Thursday that the troubled singer is "a sick little girl ... we're just trying to take care of her and other than that I have no comment."

Jamie Spears, who was on the phone from his Louisiana home, added that Brit's problems are "not about what other people think" and that he and the pop star's mother are "concerned about our daughter."

Spears entered the facility on Wednesday night. Earlier that night, Brit went to the house of Federline in an attempt to see their two young sons, who were inside. A strangely sage Federline would not let Spears inside.

This slight caused her to storm off and later go on a rampage, lashing out at some poor, innocent cameramen with an umbrella. At 10:30 p.m., Lynne Spears drove her daughter to the center where she has been ever since.

Which is a good sign. She bailed twice before in less than a day.

Kevin Federline visited Britney Spears at Promises for about an hour on Friday afternoon, leaving his two children at his home in the care of Spears' mother.

The singer's manager, Larry Rudolph, who may be the worst manager in the history of modern music, shot down rumors that his client is on suicide watch.

"The story is absolutely untrue. She is in rehab, and it is very disappointing that various media outlets are running these false stories about her, as Britney tries to get better."

Whoa, Ellen DeGeneres is the host?!?

Eddie Murphy didn't win best supporting actor?!?

The Color Purple isn't nominated?!?

Yes, talk show queen Oprah Winfrey was shocked at a few of the results from last night's Oscars telecast. She watched it at the Vanity Fair Oscar party in West Hollywood, sitting alongside Grammy winner Mary J. Blige.

One outcome Oprah was probably happy to see was Jennifer Hudson taking home the award for Best Supporting Actress.

Did Beyonce Knowles feel the same way? We'll leave that up to you to interpret.

It doesn't get much more pornographic than the recent Antonella Barba blowjob photos. However, a case could be made that girl with her mouth full in those pics is not actually the American Idol contestant.

The same can't be said for the Antonella Barba pictures below.

These are definitely the New Jersey native; posed for, wet, wild and yearning to be nude. All of a sudden, Katie Rees really does face stiff, lewd competition... 

We have no idea if these pics will get Barba thrown off Idol or not. But we do know that Britney Spears should send the singer a box of chocolates - who's gonna pay attention to a shaved head when these photos are floating around?!?

Well before her nervous breakdown, Britney Spears' life was marked by drugs, steamy sexual encounters and at least one near-overdose.

At least that's what her first husband, Jason Alexander, claims.

We talked earlier about how Daniel Baldwin of all people reached out to Spears, his fellow rehab cohort. Now Alexander, who was married to Britney for less than three days in 2004, decided to break his silence about her hard living because:

"I am really worried that she will wind up like Anna Nicole Smith and be found dead."

Does that make Jason Alexander her Howard K. Stern?

Not at all. But he does have some more thoughts on his ex with the shaved head.

"I have never said anything about Britney and drugs before but I am very, very concerned about her," he tells Britain's Sunday Mirror. "She needs help. I don't want to see her life come to an end."

Britney Spears' childhood sweetheart tells the paper that he nearly saw her overdose on ecstasy in the days before they got married.

"I think we took too much," Alexander admits. "We were taking capsules with pure MDMA inside. It wasn't pressed up into a tablet. It was the purest of the pure. I am a pretty big guy and at the time I was weighing 220 lbs and was extremely fit. We took two of those things. And it knocked my d--k in the dirt. Then it hit her and it hit her hard. In that situation, your body temperature heats up and you can die. She was sweating and overheating and her breathing was getting real slow. Other people were panicking. But we got her out the back and up to the suite. I took her into the bathroom and threw her into the shower. She was unconscious. She tripped and fell. I was trying to hold her up and speak to her. She wasn't moving."

Alexander said he decided to come forward with his stories after being offered money seeing the disturbing photos of a bald Britney Spears going ape-$h!t and attacking a car with an umbrella following her escape from rehab.

Spears has since checked back into rehab for a third time.

"She needs to knock herself down from the pedestal she thinks she is on and remember she's just a country girl," said Alexander, pictured below with Shar Jackson. "She needs a break. She should be looking after her kids - not shaming herself by doing drugs."

Britney Spears seems "a little fearful" but is "doing the do."

That's according to her rehab compatriot, Daniel Baldwin.

One of the lesser-known Baldwin brothers, Daniel says he's now been sober for 97 days and recently ran into the train wreck pop princess in Malibu.

"I told her if she needed anything or if she wanted me to bring anything to her where she's at, I'd be happy to come see her," Baldwin told Us Weekly after meeting the troubled singer in the midst of an epic downward spiral.

"She's doing great; she looks great," added Baldwin, saying he gave Britney Spears his number after running into her two days ago in Malibu.

"She seemed like she was a little fearful," he continued. "I mean, she's a young girl - I have kids older than her. I think that she knows that she needs some help, and God bless her. All we can do is pray. That's what I want people to do: Pray for her."

Baldwin, who was arrested in April on charges of being under the influence and carrying cocaine paraphernalia, said he left Britney - who's back in rehab for a third try at getting clean - with some simple advice:

"Don't drink. Don't use."

Good news, Brit - there's nothing in that mantra about not marrying losers. Then again, Kevin Federline is looking like a steady influence these days.

"It's really simple," said the brother of Stephen Baldwin. "One thing I mentioned to her is if you took a look at how much effort you put into going out - at least for me - going out and using and doing the things we do, compared to how much effort you need to do to stay sober, it's infinitesimal on a comparison basis."

We hope Britney Spears understands what that means.

We sure as hell don't. But then again, we've been too busy staring at the Antonella Barba pictures circulating around the web to pay attention.

This picture says it all, doesn't it?

Look at Jennifer Hudson: loud, proud, an Academy Award winner in her very first feature film appearance.

Then there's Beyonce.

Poor, quiet, non-nominated Beyonce.

Sure, the Dreamgirls co-star looks sort of happy.

And, granted, she does have a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover in which she can take pride. But she doesn't have a little gold statue, or the attention that comes along with it.

So who knows if the feud between Beyonce and Hudson is real or not. All we can say for sure is that American Idols past and present are getting all the luck these days:

Hudson dominating the Oscars; Katharine McPhee getting to second base with Tyra Banks; Antonella Barba blowjob pics on the minds of men everywhere.

How can Beyonce - or anyone - compete with that?

We're sure that her body is a wonderland. Now, according to the boyfriend of Jessica Simpson, a relationship with the beauty is like a trip to Disneyland. It's a lot of fun.

After being pressed numerous times about his fling with the new brunette, John Mayer is done holding back his feelings.

When asked by Time Out New York, "So, what about Jessica? According to Extra, you can't deny you're a couple anymore," Mayer shot back: "I don't think I've ever denied it. When did I deny it?"

Adds Mayer, whose fans might think the crooner and the pop star are an odd match: "I'm having the best time of my life, so if the names don't make sense to people, that's so small to me."

Wow, a zinger from Mayer to his fans.

Must mean he either doesn't care about them - or does care about the older sister of Ashlee Simpson a whole bunch.

Mayer was most recently quizzed by Ryan Seacrest about Simpson on the red carpet at the Grammy Awards. He answered the American Idol host in Japanese and suggested, "Find a Japanese person and decode it."

The translated answer? "She's a lovely woman and I'm glad to be with her."

But is that still the case, now that Jessica has dyed her famous blonde hair a gross redish brown? We assume so.

After all, Mayer better keep saying the right things - unless he wants Crazy Joe Simpson to beat him down with a tire iron.