Kevin Federline may be sick - and that could last for about nine months when he reads this - but someone's gotta break the news.

Shar Jackson is pregnant.

That's the report coming straight out of the New York Post, TMZ.com and numerous other reputable celebrity gossip sources. Oxymoronic as that sounds... would it shock you? The guy's boys can frickin' swim.

Report has it that Kevin Federline has planted his seen for the fifth time, knocking up the mother of his first two children.

He ditched the D-list actress for Britney Spears a few years back, but as soon as his divorce from the pop star became official, FedEx reportedly embarked on an on-again, off-again, and (for Shar lately) very much on-again romance with the shining Shar.

And the rekindled passion seems to have produced yet another baby between them. So much for those rumors of an impending Spears-Federline reconciliation.

The Post's Cindy Adams claims Shar Jackson is already "into her seventh week, and at the instant I write this, he doesn't know." She cites Shar in Star, saying that she's hoping "this brings them back together as a family."

Gag. We'll have more on this as it develops. We're can't wait to learn if a fifth K-Spawn will join Kori, Kaleb, Sean Preston and Jayden James.

We apologize for the lame pun ahead of time, but this is too easy: Megan Fox is quite the fox!

Starring in the upcoming summer blockbuster, Transformers, this beauty doesn't need to follow in the footsteps of Amanda Beard nude (not that we'd object if she did) in order to gain attention. Fox's tattoos can do that on their own.

She has five. The most prominent, on her shoulder, reads: We will all laugh at gilded butterflies. Just think about it, folks.

Like Britney Spears exposing her nipples, Fox isn't shy talking about her fine body art.

"I have five. Anytime I have a feeling about anything, I get tattooed. I have a poem I wrote on my ribcage and a symbol for strength on my neck, and my boyfriend Brian's name tattooed next to my pie."

Whoa, her pie?!? And we thought Paris Hilton's pussy was a good euphemism.

Meanwhile, the boyfriend in question is none other than former Beverly Hills 90210 star Brian Austin Green. Rumor has it he and Fox are engaged. Rumor also has it this guy has done pretty well for himself since the days of Donna Martin.

Previously, Green had dated Tiffany Thiessen.

The son of Anne Heche will live with his father, Coley Laffoon, in Los Angeles while the actress works in Canada, a judge ruled in the strange actress' bitter divorce case.

Under the temporary arrangement, Anne Heche, who had asked to have 5-year-old Homer live with her and attend school in Vancouver, will have alternate weekend visitation rights while the ABC show shoots.

When she returns to Los Angeles after filming ends, she and her estranged husband, Coley Laffoon, will have joint custody pending the outcome of their divorce trial.

Men in Trees, which stars Heche and her current boyfriend, James Tupper, begins filming in Canada in mid-July and will wrap up around next March.

The custody arrangement was approved by the Superior Court judge in a closed-door hearing Monday, according to lawyers in the case.

"Coley Laffoon is pleased with the result of the hearing," his attorney, Jon Summers, tells People, adding that Laffoon was awarded an undisclosed amount of child and spousal support.

"Homer is going to remain in Los Angeles and attend school here."

Laffoon, 33, filed for divorce in February, triggering a brutal custody dispute. He has questioned Heche's sanity and parenting skills, accusing the actress of resorting to lies to win custody of and destroy his relationship with their son.

Someone's gotta get Coley and Alec Baldwin together for some drinks.

The former videographer, who says he was making just $6,000 a year when he quit his job to take care of Homer, sought primary custody and at least $33,000 a month in support, according to court papers.

Heche, who has defended her parenting, has claimed he was actually seeking $45,000 a month and that his cravings for strippers, poker and masturbating to online porn kept him from properly raising Homer.

Well, those are some concerns. Talk about a rock and a hard place! And to think we thought Jayden James Federline had some screwed up parents!

Paris Hilton is hungry again.

Maybe for sex with Stavros Niarchos, but also for food; so state her parents, after they visited their spoiled daughter in jail last night. The heiress said she has suffered cold and sleepless nights, but is regaining her appetite.

"It's tough in there. It's cold," Kathy Hilton said after she and Paris's father Rick had a 30-minute visit. "It's just good to see her."

Wow. Is this lady a quote machine or what?

This was the first time Hilton's parents have seen her in jail. Paris told her mom and dad that she has finally started to eat, beginning with cereal Tuesday morning, Kathy said.

"She was very happy," she added. "She wants to just do her time and get on with it."

Well, no worries there. Paris will probably be in jail longer than Reggie Bush will be inside Kim Kardashian.

Hilton, meanwhile, faces problems outside of jail â€" she has been dropped by her talent agent, People magazine confirms. Why someone with less talent than Brooke Hogan had an agent is a question for another time, of course.

But "Paris is no longer a client," Endeavor agency rep Michael Donkis said.

The Beverly Hills-based company has represented Hilton since 2005, handling her deal for The Simple Life.

Paris spent her fourth night in a medical center at a downtown Los Angeles jail. She is serving out a 23-day minimum sentence for violating probation in an alcohol-related driving case - and we're just one of many celebrity gossip blogs that can't get enough of that fact.

Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell might as well come out as a couple at this point. They fight like a married pair.

You get the feeling that the insults are less serious than celebrity gossip that Britney Spears will actually be joining Cowell as an American Idol judge.

During a recent press junket to promote the launch of E! News in Canada, Seacrest acknowledged that Idol's ratings, while still atop the Nielsen Ratings, had slipped last season - and jokingly blamed Simon for the significant slump.

"Well, the knee-jerk reaction would be Simon," Seacrest said. "Clearly there's an over-saturation of his character."

Seacrest's ribbing was nothing if not good-natured, of course. And the host who crowned Jordin Sparks as this year's champion dialed up his British pal on his radio show yesterday.

"Everything good goes to you," Seacrest told his English friend, endangering the chances that Simon would introduce him to hot countrywomen Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh. "If there's any hiccup along the way, we are obligated to blame you. You want the credit, you get the blame."

"When I'm allowed more airtime," Cowell countered, "we get 34 million viewers. When I say nothing and you're talking, we get 12 million less."

"There's a little bit of an ego getting out of control with you," Seacrest shot back. Cowell's solution to drive ratings for season seven? "Let us talk more. When I say us, I mean me."

And so it went, two buddies joking like Paul Sculfor and Victoria Beckham re-living the past.

In the end, Seacrest, who recently performed a widely praised comedic cameo in the film Knocked Up, offered the final straw. "I know you're upset they didn't ask you to be in Knocked Up," he told the judge. "It's okay that [director] Judd Apatow didn't call you. You can't be everywhere all the time. You're one old man!"

Why run a story about a non-controversial star like Claire Danes and her boyfriend enjoying a new, fun hobby ?

Because not every piece of celebrity gossip involves British babes in Nuts magazine or descriptions of the daily Britney Spears nipple slip photos.

Deal with it.

In any case, Danes and Hugh Dancy seem to be getting along swimmingly. You could say they're diving into the world of romance... yet still getting their feet wet.

If you're wondering when we're going to run out of these bad puns, don't hold your breath. It will happen around the time Lindsay Lohan grows up.

After attending a spate of press events in the last few days, the largely Hollywood gossip-free couple are planning a scuba-diving vacation.

"I've never scuba-dived, but hopefully, I'm going to. The day after tomorrow," Dancy told People Monday at a Cinema Society screening of their film Evening. "I'm going on a holiday."

Asked if Claire Danes was going with him on the vacation, Dancy said: "Yes."

But the actor, who just wrapped up a stint in the Tony award-winning play Journey's End, was coy about their exact destination.

When asked if the getaway was to an island, Dancy would only say, "It's not a landlocked country."

He added: "I've never done scuba, but I'm not very good at those holidays where you do absolutely nothing, so I figure I'd learn to swim underwater."

And Claire Danes supports her beau's adventurous side. Backstage at Sunday's Tony Awards in the gift lounge, she requested an Invicta diving watch for Dancy.

Dancy and Danes began dating while filming Evening in Newport, R.I.

"We hadn't met before," Dancy said Monday. "It's an amazing place."

Danes, a Gwyneth Paltrow look-alike, recently told People that she and Dancy "just happened upon each other because we were friends." Dancy said of the relationship:

"I'm having a great time."

Aww. You see? Not every celebrity has a contrived, fake relationship fueled by gossip and staged photos. Talking to you, Heidi Montag.

Nuts is crazy about breasts.

The publication has printed photos of a half-nude Lucy Pinder before, but now its really giving its male audience bang for its, well, balls.

Joining the lovely British model in a photo spread of an upcoming issue is… another lovely British model. And neither is wearing a shit! That's Michelle Marsh and her large boobs smiling seductively next to Pinder.

And that's a member of The Hollywood Gossip staff running to change his pants. He didn't think it got any hotter than Amanda Beard nude.

Someone should notify Britney Spears, meanwhile, and let her know that you needn't dress all trashy or climb over car seats in order to be attractive.

Just take off your shirt and it's all good.

The incomparable Britney Spears was hanging out in Hollywood Monday night.

Literally!

Dressed in what appears to be a satin bed sheet of some kind and very little else, the princess must have known we were getting a bit bored with our recent articles about her.

After all, she was nice enough to provide us with a yet another nice nipple slip (see below), then later, as an encore, she flashed her rear end while getting into her car!

The mother of Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline had no bra on, obviously, but at least put on panties. Which for most is a given, but with Britney, you never know!

The latest boob and ass flashing came as Britney exited Joseph's in Hollywood last night. Deliberately or not, we can't say - but that once-fine ass was dangled tantalizingly in front of a horde photographers as she hopped into her car. A class act as always!

According to TMZ, the crowd of paparazzi could even be heard groaning as her ample back side made a very special appearance. Now that is (a) bad ass!

At least her awful hair extensions were held in place by a paisley scarf, adding a Gypsy flavor to an already whore-able ensemble. Top it off with trampy hoop earrings and a gold purse, and this MILF is ready to get crunked... Y'all!

The abject suffering depicted in one Paris Hilton pussy picture after another is a frequent topic of discussion among the staff in The Hollywood Gossip newsroom.

Fortunately for Holly Madison and animal lovers across America and the world, not all critters are subjected to such extreme acts of unforgivable torture.

That said, we are happy to present a cute celebrity photo of a furry friend and a star who our staff members are much bigger fans of than the ho-tel heiress.

Below, Hayden Panettiere plays hero to a small pal from the Humane Society as they head down the "cat"-walk at Animal Fair's 8th Annual Paws for Style event Monday.

Yeah. We can't tell for sure if that's a cat or dog. But we can say with certainty that there's at least one sexy kitten in this pic! Purr!

The Heroes star is the magazine's cover girl for their travel issue. She's also the hero of Stephen Colletti's love life... even if he can't legally hit that. Yet. Just wait 'til August.

Eva Herzigova and her Italian boyfriend Gregorio Marsiaj have welcomed their first child, a healthy baby boy.

We hope they listen to Jaime Lee Curtis and avoid the parental mistakes Dina Lohan and others have made.

A spokeswoman from Storm Models confirms the baby was born in Paris on June 1. We know his name is George Marsiaj Herzig - but we don't know if this will be another case of Jayden James Federline and no photos will be available for months.

"The whole family [is] well, Eva is delighted, and they will all be leaving on a holiday together shortly," a Herzigova spokerperson said.

The Czech-born supermodel, 34, shot to fame in the "Hello Boys" Wonderbra ad campaign that literally stopped traffic back in 1994. One could surmise that Jennifer Love Hewitt almost owes her career to the sort of worldwide breast appreciation Herzigova helped usher in.

Last month, Eva attended the Cannes Film Festival where she revealed the sex of her baby to People magazine and said: "I am so excited. I cannot wait for motherhood."

Before meeting Marsiaj, a Turin businessman whom she has dated for several years, Herzigova was married to Bon Jovi drummer Tico Torres for two years.