Here's your shocking news story of the day.

Lauren Conrad wants everyone to know that she never made a sex video with her loser ex-boyfriend, Jason Wahler.

Let's repeat that. Sorry guys, no Lauren Conrad sex tape exists.

"There is no sex tape that exists," LC said in an interview.

Lauren Conrad also posted this message on her official website:

"Regarding the reports that have circulated on the internet this morning, [Jason Wahler] and I would like to make it clear that we did not make a tape with us having sex. Jason and I are both shocked and hurt that people would say such horrible things about us. I can't believe that somebody would go to such great lengths to try to damage my reputation. I feel very grateful and blessed to have friends and family to support me at this time. I would especially like to thank all my fans for standing by me."

You're welcome, Lauren.

The statements come in response to recent reports online (started by Perez Hilton, that dick) that a jail-bound Wahler is hoping to sell the alleged sex tape with Lauren before he gets locked up.

In the new issue of Us Weekly, the 21-year-old star of The Hills denies the existence of the sex tape and refers to her relationship with Jason by saying:

"Poor decisions are all I make with guys."

No word yet on whether Spencer Pratt started these bogus rumors of the Lauren Conrad sex tape, or how Heidi Montag and her hot new boob job feel about it.

And the Hollywood Gossip world turns. Another day, another Britney Spears romance.

Well, this one is old. And we've talked about it at length already.

However, this is the first time we've heard J.R. Rotem himself comment on it. He and Britney were spotted hooking up in mid-December.

"Yes, Britney and I were dating, before the crotch shot thing," said J.R. Rotem, a quote-unquote music producer, in the upcoming issue of Complex magazine.

But Rotem, whose real first name is Jonathan, and who has worked with the likes of Paris Hilton, 50 Cent and Destiny's Child, among others, says his relationship with Britney Spears now is mostly professional.

Mostly.

"Now it's kind of rocky between us. We're working together still, but I'm not sure if I want to be tied down, period."

He then boasted of some of his other hos pairings, although he didn't say if they were personal or professional.

"Britney, Bai Ling, Mya, Hayden Panettiere, Meagan Good â€" it's a pretty big list, and it's growing," he said.

"Britney got me the furthest. She had something special."

You could call it that, J.R. You could most definitely call it that. Let's just hope Jason Filyaw and Howie Day aren't reading this.

We've been over this, but it warrants revisiting.

Britney Spears. The girl sure has wonderful, ample breasts. Yet she doesn't wear a bra. And she occasionally spills things on herself, further exposing them. We all caught up now? 

We saw this picture from the other night (when she celebrated little sister Jamie Lynn Spears‘ birthday) already, but here's a better look. What in the hell is that stain on her shirt? And why, upon staining herself, didn't she cover it up, or try to clean it off? Most intriguingly, why can't Britney Spears eat like a civilized human being?

For a girl who angrily attacked paparazzi before entering rehab earlier this year, Britney apparently hasn't learned that she's inviting scrutiny and gossip at every turn.

We've censored the image above so as not to offend any readers. But the damage is done. Howie Day, you've got some work to do with this crazy chica.

Fans of Entourage don't need to think about this answer.

They know all about Emmanuelle Chriqui, the lovely girlfriend of the character portrayed by Kevin Connolly.

And while we don't have any nude pictures yet of this actress - but we do for Tricia Helfer and Lucy Pinder - we wanted to introduce a new, beautiful face into The Hollywood Gossip archives. We're gonna assume our male readers don't mind.

Meanwhile, Chriqui also appeared in two episodes of The OC. She was fortunate enough to have played the ex-girlfriend of Olivia Wilde. Her character in that show would have seen Wilde's character naked. So lucky.

We apologize if that offends any of our female fans. But here's a photo of Sean Stewart naked to make up for it.

You've probably come to expect Rose McGowan to be nude. The one-time girlfriend of Marilyn Mason is far from conventional.

Readers of this month's Rolling Stone might be more surprised to see Rosario Dawson in her birthday suit, however. But in a very, very good sort of way. The co-star of the new Quentin Tarantino movie, Grindhouse, is wearing nothing but bullets.

This, of course, is more than a nude Kim Kardashian is wearing in her sex video with Ray J.

The cover shoot reminds us a bit of the Eva Longoria nude photo we ran a few months back. It doesn't show everything - but it does tease the mind just enough. Along with other body parts.

In fact, The Hollywood Gossip will be right back ...

Actress Hayden Panettiere rocketed to fame as the self-healing cheerleader Claire Bennet on Heroes. But the 17-year-old is just getting started.

Since becoming the focal point of the show's "save the cheerleader" plot line, the sexy and adorable Hayden Panettiere has also started filming a new drama, Fireflies in the Garden, with Julia Roberts, and is gearing up to promote her debut pop album this fall.

"With singing, I get to be myself," she tells People in its new issue.

That's all well and good. But later this spring, Hayden Panettiere will celebrate another important milestone - high school graduation.

"Thank God!" says the Nyack, N.Y., native. "School was difficult; when you come and go, you miss out on a lot. Cliques are formed and you're just lingering."

In L.A., Panettiere has found a new BFF in Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughter Rumer Willis, 18.

"I stole my pink belly-button ring from Rumer," she admits.

Moreover, she's found a boyfriend in Laguna Beach alum Stephen Colletti, 21, whom she's been dating for more than a year.

Colletti, of course, used to date Kristin Cavallari. And Lauren Conrad. At the same time. We can only take our collective hat off to the young man.

But Panettiere and Colletti are so low-key (their big nights out usually consist of dinner and a movie) that the actress almost feels guilty about not giving Hollywood Gossip hounds like us more to work with.

It's safe to say Justin Timberlake doesn't share that attitude.

"I had paparazzi on my street for a while," she says. "I think I bored them to tears. I'm no fun to watch."

This is sad news.

We could tell that Hilary Duff was skanking herself up a bit, but we didn't realize the lengths this former nice girl was willing to go to.

Reportedly, the Duff one was spotted at Les Deux the other night ... with none other than man whore Stavros Niarchos. Witnesses say the two were "getting cozy" and "traded numbers - and a kiss - before they left."

We wonder how Paris Hilton will feel about this.

Then again, Paris is far from the only rich, talentless celebrity Stavros has bedded. His disgusting impressive resume also includes Lindsay Lohan and Mary-Kate Olsen.

In other words: make a run for it, Hilary. There are far less dirty guys you can sleep with if you really wanna prove how grown up you've become. At this alarming rate, you'll be going the Lauren Conrad route and making a sex tape any day now.

Brandon Davis is so unpopular, even his friends don't want to be associated with him.

The obnoxious, toxic grandson of the late oil tycoon Marvin Davis showed up to the Details magazine party March 29 at producer Mary Parent's house in Hollywood and became enraged when he was denied access.

According to a New York Post spy, "he started demanding that staffers get Stavros Niarchos.

The Greek shipping heir, who is newly single, evidently told Davis about the party and was already inside.

But when staffers found Stavros Niarchos, he pleaded with them to tell Brandon Davis, a.k.a. Greasy Bear, that he wasn't there, saying, "I didn't invite him here, and I don't really want to be around him."

Nice. Niarchos, who used to date Davis' best friend, Paris Hilton, then joined the other revelers. Davis eventually made such a fuss that he was allowed in - and Niarchos beelined to a Details editor to apologize.

"You know I would never bring him here," said the Greek God of Poontang, who once tapped the voluptuous booty of Lindsay Lohan as well as Mary-Kate Olsen.

We would hope not. Davis is guaranteed to make a scene wherever he goes. This is a guy who ridiculed Paula Abdul's Middle Eastern heritage when he himself is Middle Eastern. And greasy. Very greasy.

They must be really close friends.

Talentless hack Ashlee Simpson and Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz spent Saturday night kissing and cuddling at the new L.A. hot spot Parc.

At the club for a pal's birthday, Simpson, 22, and Wentz, 27, were spotted getting cozy in a booth, holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes and smooching in between Simpson's dance sessions with a group of girls.

"They definitely weren't hiding the fact that they were together," said one onlooker. "They were making out a lot and they were pretty intense."

Wentz said in November that he isn't dating Jessica Simpson's sister, and that although "Ashlee is the sweetest girl ever," they're "just friends."

And in February he reiterated that they're not dating, telling Rolling Stone: "Maybe in a different universe, we'd be some hot couple, but not in this one."

Perhaps Parc is a different universe.

After their PDA-filled evening in front of clubgoers including The OC's Adam Brody and Benjamin McKenzie (who gathered with other friends around Ashlee Simpson and Wentz's booth to sing "Happy Birthday" to the guest of honor), the pop "star" and the rocker left together, hand-in-hand.

While we find Wentz slightly less irritating than John Mayer, we find Ashlee to be completely worthless, so the race for most annoying Simpson couple is currently a dead heat.

Carrie Underwood can sing, look beautiful and keep a smile on her face when Simon Cowell lets loose with a barrage of insults.

But she can't find a date.

The American Idol winner tells Cosmopolitan in its May issue that she's shy and "horrible around guys" â€" and hasn't had a serious relationship since she split with college boyfriend Drake Clark in 2005.

And her newfound fame hasn't helped.

"Guys who would never look at me twice before might ask me out now, so I guess I have better opportunities," she says. "But when I do meet a guy, there's this 'Does he just want his picture in a magazine?' factor."

We assume Lindsay Lohan has the same problem. Not that it makes a difference in whether or not she brings the guy home.

Lohan's easiness aside, Underwood remains hopeful: "I'm not saying I want to get married tomorrow, but I'd like to have someone other than my mom to call when I have good news."

You know, like Britney Spears supposedly now does with Howie Day.

Underwood has been spotted recently with British singer Oliver Trevena, Cosmo notes, but she denies she ever dated fellow American Idol contestant Anthony Federov or Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.

Besides the guy issue, Underwood says there's another downside to fame: "The music business is about packaging. People have to be pleased by what they see on TV or they'll change the channel."

Hence, the reason why Haley Scarnato is still on the show this season.

Finally, Carrie commented on her recent weight loss: "I gained weight on Idol, but I didn't starve myself afterward. I may think about it a little too much. I might feel guilty if I eat a pizza. But I've tried to be healthy and exercise as much as I can. If that's made me lose weight, I guess I needed to."

On a related note, apparently a heated divorce has made Jenna Jameson lose weight.