by Free Britney at . Comments

Tiger Woods finally emerged from seclusion and apologized to family, friends, fans and business associates Friday in an emotional, 13-minute, prepared statement.

Saying he is deeply sorry for his actions and letting down pretty much the whole world, the golf legend began the long process of rebuilding his shattered image.

When and if he accomplishes that goal remains to be seen, but he is pulling out all the stops right now. Today, his young daughter's school got a special apology.

Tiger and Elin Nordegren Woods have issued a letter of apology to the parents at the Florida school where their 2-year-old Sam Alexis Woods attends day care.

Can Tiger claw his way back to respectability?

In the letter, Tiger says he's sorry but again blames the paparazzi as much as himself for creating an "inconvenience" around Premier Academy in Windermere.

It's not likely to move anyone to tears (like this guy) as his mea culpa did last week, but at least Woods realizes the wide-ranging consequences of his actions.

Follow the jump for the full text of the letter ...

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Joe Jonas cannot catch a football.

But it sounds like he may have caught something far more important in life: true love.

According to Great Britain's trashy newspaper The Sun, the sex-starved singer has been getting cozy with English star Pixie Lott.

Jonas and Lott were reportedly introduced through Gregg Sulkin, a British actor that appears on Wizard Of Waverly Place.

"Joe has been relentless in his pursuit of Pixie. They have known each other a while. But she was visiting LA last week and he made sure he saw her every day," a source told the tabloid. "There were five nights on the trot where they ended up hanging out and going out together."

We have no idea what "on the trot" refers to, but we can assume it's not slang for "in the bedroom."

Pic of J Squared

The anonymous insider added, about Joe:

"He has become obsessed by her. Pixie is feeling a little more guarded but there is a romance gently bubbling away. Since she got back to the UK they have been texting and calling."

OMG, Jonas Brothers fans. It's about time Joe settled down, isn't it? Kevin is married to Danielle Deleasa; while Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas appear back together. Joe doesn't wanna be left behind!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Lindsay Lohan has serious romantic feelings for Samantha Ronson. But if it's not for her, she would want nothing to do with the vagina, she tells the Sun (UK).

The wild child says her celebrity DJ on-off girlfriend is the only female for her – and if she doesn't reunite with her, she will make a triumphant return to men.

Use protection, guys.

"I never really thought about women before, it kind of just happened with Samantha. It surprised me," Lohan said of her first foray into girl-on-girl action.

"If I wasn't with Samantha, I would probably be with a boy next. She's the only woman I'm attracted to. We love each other. We might reconcile ... maybe."

Lohan says she still "loves" Samantha Ronson – from whom she split last April – and, since they live in the same L.A. building, they see each other regularly.

That's not awkward or anything.

Freaking Crazy Chick

Among women, Lindsay Lohan has eyes only for Samantha Ronson. Reportedly, there are even times in which she has eyes that open all the way and aren't glazed over.

The pair had a tumultuous, torrid tryst that regularly landed them in the tabloids. Lohan blames the storminess as having root in the meddling of others.

Her coked-up tendencies couldn't have helped.

"Her family is very involved in her relationships and that was difficult … All the fighting stuff was just because all her friends had got involved and made me an outcast, which wasn't fair to Samantha. I think it was a jealousy thing," Lohan said.

"Mostly it was great. Everyone has ups and downs, it's normal," she adds. "But in front of the public eye they're going to take the downs and make it seem like they're a million times worse. That's something that comes with the territory."

As for the last guy believed to have tapped that, Calum Best? That fling was "over really quickly and not worth talking about. Next!" Burn, Calum Best! Burn.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Levi Johnston is trying to make headway in the fields of TV and posing nude. It's nice to see that his baby mama, Bristol Palin, has decided to follow suit.

Well, at least the TV part.

Bristol Palin Shakes It

The daughter of Sarah Palin is coming to ABC Family as the real-life teen mom will make a cameo as herself on The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Levi is in talks to appear on Desperate Housewives.

Bristol Palin will appear as one of Amy’s friends at a music program for young parents. Sarah will certainly be so proud at her girl getting more publicity.

Bristol Palin during her brief, fake engagement to Levi Johnston.

The casting announcement comes juts a week after Sarah and Bristol both made headlines by lashing out at Family Guy and its creator Seth MacFarlane.

Its depiction of a student with Down Syndrome riled up the Palins, even if the voice actress, who has Down Syndrome herself, says they should lighten up.

Is Sarah Palin being hypocritical by placing her daughter on a TV show, given that like MacFarlane, The Secret Life is just using the Palin name for ratings?

Just asking.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Based on comments last week, it appears as though Simon Cowell has a soft spot in his heart for this season's female contestants. He's hinted that he hopes Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox or another woman is crowned the next American Idol.

But there's another female that's truly won over Simon's heart: Mezhgan Hussainy.

Mezhgan Hussainy and Simon Cowell Photo

Cowell has referred to the make-up artist as "special," while his mother has now gone on record about her son's burgeoning relationship.

In a new interview, Julie Cowell relays a conversation she had with Simon soon after he asked Hussainy to move in with him.

"What baffled me most was the complete turnaround in my son. He has always insisted, ‘I’m fine as I am, mother. I’m not going to get committed to a marriage and I certainly don’t want children.’ I used to reply, ‘You don’t know, you’ve never had them.'"

Julie adds that "Mezhgan is absolutely lovely" and that she can't believe the state of bliss in which her son finds himself.

"He looks exceptionally happy and there is such a glow about him," Julie said. "I thought, my goodness me, he’s had to reach 50 to reach this stage. I think turning 50 has made him reassess his life.

"Now I really think marriage and fatherhood for Simon are going to happen. I would like to see an official engagement, a marriage and yes, then grandchildren. Mezghan is very family orientated, so she is ideal for him."

by Free Britney at . Comments

Yesterday, THG readers were given the challenge of writing the best caption for this picture of Joe Jonas looking less good at sports than he is at music.

Your winner for this edition of our Caption Contest is TRoo.

Congratulations! The winning entry appears below. Honorable mentions go to julie and TheGenePool. Click here for the full list of submissions.

Thank you to everyone for playing and good luck next time!

Butter Fingers

At least we know ONE of Joe's balls has descended!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Michael Jackson's embattled former doctor, who is being charged in connection with the King of Pop's June death, feels officials are being shady with evidence.

Dr. Conrad Murray's legal team believes the L.A. County D.A.'s Office is "suspiciously slow" in sharing documents from the involuntary manslaughter investigation.

As one Murray source puts it, "The prosecution had eight months to accumulate their evidence and we still haven't received it. Something here just isn't right."

That is strange, we'll grant the doc that.

Dr. Murray was charged earlier this month and his defense team has not ruled out a plea bargain in the case. But it's a matter of what the case actually consists of.

But as one source connected to Murray said, because the defense team hasn't received essential documents, "We don't have enough to know if we're going to deal."

A spokesperson for the District Attorney's Office calls any suggestion of impropriety "ridiculous," saying, "There are hundreds of documents that are being stamped and when the process is completed, they will be turned over."

A central issue: The Michael Jackson death timeline and contradictory findings and statements thereof. It will be very interesting to watch this shake out.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We are together, yes.

With those words, spoken at this Sunday night's BAFTA Awards in London, Robert Pattinson took attention away from his matted hair and placed it squarely back on his relationship with Kristen Stewart.

Hot Trio

After months of rumors, speculation, innuendo and ridiculous tabloid cover stories, Pattinson spoke publicly for the first time about he and his Twilight Saga co-star.

He told Great Britain's The Sun that he and Kristen have a difficult time dating in the spotlight - but, yes, they are dating.

"It is extremely difficult but we are together, yes," Robert said. "We can't arrive at the same time because of the fans. It goes crazy. This was supposed to be a public appearance as a couple, but it's impossible. We are here together and it's a public event, but it's not easy.

"We have to do all this stuff to avoid attention."

There you have it, folks. There's been little doubt for a very long time now, but Robsten has been made official. As always, we wish Robert and Kristen noting but happiness!

ROBSTEN LIVES!!!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Remember when Jennifer Love Hewitt was a moderately well-known actress on Party of Five who posed naked, never whispered to ghosts and seemed content to play the role of supporting character on a hit TV show?

We miss those days.

The beauty has since devolved into one of the most attention-starved actresses on the planet. She never fails to make out with Jamie Kennedy in public, she openly discusses her bedazzled vagina and, as proven yesterday, she uses her birthday as an excuse to make like a sad version of Lady Gaga for the paparazzi.

Hewitt turned 31 on Sunday and celebrated by throwing a 1980s-themed party with friends. That's cool.

But why did she feel the need to step outside and pose for photographers? And what were those media members doing there anyway? We somehow doubt they stake out JLH's home. Someone's publicist earned his money this week...

  • Very Annoying Actress
  • Celebrate Me!

If Hewitt wants attention this badly, we have a much better idea for her: Pose for Playboy. There are only two reasons she's still employed anyway.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The traditional pre-season finale "Women Tell All" reunion special of The Bachelor is always mostly filler - and a total misnomer, as they really tell surprisingly little.

Still, there were fireworks as Rozlyn Papa returned to confront Chris Harrison and the stage was set for next week's epic Tenley Molzahn-Vienna Girardi showdown.

As always, THG endured two freaking hours of the colon-tastic The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love: The Women Tell All to recap all the action in our +/- system:

Jake said self-defecating when he meant self-deprecating. Plus 3.

Wes Hayden of last season's Bachelorette is back for some reason. He says he's getting "a thousand more nibbles" on his dating pole these days. Gross. Minus 4.

Crazy ass Michelle tried to explain her crazy ass behavior, but just came across as even more unstable. Her best defense: "Ask my friends. I have a job!" Plus 9.

Chris Harrison didn't let up on Rozlyn Papa, but she held her own.

Rozlyn Papa was confronted by fellow Bachelor hopefuls about her relationship with producer Ryan Callahan, which got them both fired from the show. According to Ella, Rozlyn got on all fours, in wearing booty shorts and said to the women, "If you see [Ryan], send him in ... I need to be put to bed!" Plus 40.

The venerable host and pimp of The Bachelor, Chris Harrison, then took his turn with Rozlyn, accusing her of making stories up like his young son does. Minus 16.

She wouldn't back down though. When he said he was saddened by having to let "his friend" go, Rozlyn countered that Chris is no friend, having hit on Ryan's wife in New Zealand. Chris refused to "dignity that with a response." Awkward! Plus 25.

Jake Pavelka Shirtless

Shirtless Jake Pavelka has a tough decision to make next week.

The girls all praise Ms. Perfect, Tenley Molzahn. Jessie: "She almost fell out of a Disney movie." Gia: "She sh*ts rainbows." Minus 34 for them feeding us this crap just so we're devastated when Tenley loses next week. Brace for the pain.

Despite hating on her all season, the girls go easy on Vienna. Even Ali Fedotowsky apologized. Weak. Minus 46. We want catty comments and chairs thrown.

The next Bachelorette is going to be Ali Fedotowsky. In her interview, she said: "I believe life is measured by the risks we take ... If I could go back and do it differently, I probably would. I'm an advocate of women having careers, but I don't want to look back and say I didn't love enough." Excellent writing, story editors! Plus 30.

TOTAL: -3. SEASON: +9.

Who should Jake Pavelka give his final rose to next week?

 

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