by Free Britney at . Comments

Yesterday, readers were given the challenge of writing the best caption for this classic picture of Jon Gosselin gesturing and saying ... well, that was up to you.

Your THG Caption Contest winner for this pic: shellga.

Congratulations on a job well done! The winning entry appears below the photo, and you can click here to read the full list of submissions sent in for it.

Thanks to everyone for playing! Good luck next time!

He Likes 'Em This Big

STORK? WHAT STORK? DID SOMEONE SAY STORK??? SH...TT!!!!

by Free Britney at . Comments

With each passing day, it's looking like less of a question of whether Elin Nordegren Woods will leave cheating husband Tiger and more a matter of when.

Moving crews yesterday descended on the family's Florida mansion, where Tiger Woods' furious wife has been living since his sexual escapades blew up.

Elin Nordegren and Her Children

"She's making plans to move out and take the kids," a New York Post source said. She's planning to go somewhere warm and Tiger-free for Christmas."

As for why the scorned spouse, who's already been seen without her wedding ring, stuck around this long? "Their son had the flu, but he's now recovered."

Workers pulled up to the Windermere, Fla., estate in a truck with ladders, buckets and rope, and began carting out items such as carefully wrapped art.

Elin Nordegren spent about 10 minutes instructing movers before driving off in her red Buick SUV with daughter Sam, 2, and son Charlie, 10 months.

Tiger and soon-to-be-ex-wife Elin Woods with kids Sam and Charlie.

Adding to Elin's stress - and giving her even more reason to divorce Tiger - might be a new claim by several Tiger Woods mistresses that he paid them.

Not just for sex, although he has been accused of that too. Reports say Tiger shelled out thousands to keep them quiet about any steamy sexual antics.

The billionaire golfer would typically wire his stable of women $5,000 to $10,000 apiece each month, although one may have landed up to $20,000.

"The money comes via a wire transfer," one of the alleged ex-mistresses said. "There's no contract about it. There's no discussion about what it's for."

We all know what it's for, though: Shutting up. Or liposuction.

Tiger Woods is also said to have contacted some of his mistresses after the epic fight with his wife over Thanksgiving weekend exposed his secret life.

"Elin took his cellphone away [after the fight], so he had to call [me] from his land line at home," one said. "He hasn't called in at least a week, though."

Tell us what you think: Elin Woods should ...

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Sorry, Miley Cyrus supporters. But you can no longer wonder why your role model was named the Worst Celebrity Influence of 2009.

After all, she's apparently been showing little sister Noah Cyrus just what she and Liam Hemsworth do in the bedroom.

Backstage at a concert this week, Miley and a few dancers whooped and hollered in encouragement as the nine-year old danced to Akon's "Smack That" and sung lyrics that include:

Smack that, all on the floor
Smack that, give me some more
Smack that, 'til you get sore
Smack that, oh ooh

Watch below, as Noah possibly gets bent over, looks back and sees her older sister cheering on her inappropriate antics:

Remember Noah's Halloween outfit, too? The Cyrus family has this tyke primed to pose for Playboy and/or sleep with Tiger Woods as soon as she turns 18.

Shame on them.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Lindsay Lohan may be "in compliance" with the terms of her DUI probation, but a judge ordered the star to step it up with her alcohol education classes.

"I am going to order [that] this has to be done. It’s been long enough," Judge Marsha Revel declared at L.A. Superior Court in Beverly Hills on Tuesday.

The train wreck must now start "attending every single week" in order to fulfill the more than six months of program time necessary by July 15, 2010.

"This has to be the top priority whether she has a job somewhere else or something else comes up," Revel said. "This has to be done once a week."

Outta Control LiLo

Lindsay Lohan needs more AA meetings. And food. Holy crap, girl, you are looking pretty gaunt these days. Yech. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The judge reiterated that Lindsay Lohan's other projects - whatever the hell those are - should not take precedence over her alcohol education program.

"Right now, the other things will take second place and this will take first place," Revel declared, setting a new Lohan progress hearing for February 18.

Guess those topless photos in random magazines will have to come second. As will updating her family's website with the latest old clothes she's selling.

Proving she's not entirely useless, Lindsay Lohan recently spent a week in India, making a documentary on human trafficking of women and children with BBC.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

During her time with Hugh Hefner, Kendra Wilkinson learned how to use her vagina; change diapers; and make headlines.

Now, in her marriage to Hank Baskett, the former Girl Next Door has mastered all three skills.

Kevin and Jayden James Federline

She squeezed out her first kid last week, giving birth to Hank Baskett IV on December 11. Mere days later, from her hospital room, Kendra spoke to OK! Weekly about the process of child bearing.

"I was induced early in the morning; then it was wait, wait, wait. I was experiencing contractions throughout the day, and I was anxious. I kept checking the monitor every second, like 'Is it happening yet?'" she said.

Once the tyke was born, Wilkinson said: "I was just in heaven."

Makes sense. She likely already had a deal in place for cashing in on the birth via the cover story below.

Fellow E! star Kourtney Kardashian also gave birth for the first time this week. There's no doubt she and her valuable asset son will soon be featured on a magazine cover.

The dueling children got us to wondering: Which of these newborns is worse off - Mason Dash Disick or Hank Baskett IV?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are no longer together.

We know you're sad. Please, hold a vigil tonight in your area.

The two end things two weeks ago, even as they insisted they hadn't. "They needed time to figure it out and they were on different coasts," a source says.

"When they were finally together, they talked things out and decided they're not going to be together anymore. There are no other people involved."

"The relationship just ended, as is often the case. It just fizzled out. But they also wanted to be careful and private about it because of Reese's kids."

FAREWELL, GYLLENSPOON: Jake and Reese had a good run.

The new never talked about their romance. Earlier this month, Gyllenhaal made headline news when he used the g-word while promoting Brothers.

"I've learned so much from the kids in my life, and somehow they just become the center of your life and the way you look at things," the actor said.

"Obviously I exist in my girlfriend's world and my sister's world in a different way, but it's opened my heart and I want to be grown up as a result of it."

For now, though, it's a return to bachelorhood for ol' Jake.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Holly Sampson wants to set the record straight:

  • She once nailed Tiger Woods, sure.
  • But since it was just that one time, and it was only his bachelor party, so he wasn't married at the time, and that doesn't make her a mistress!

That's the porn star's story, anyway. There are those pesky reports of her being a prostitute and Woods using her escort service, but what can you do.

"I'm not his mistress," she said. "I've never been his mistress."

"I just don't believe in sleeping with married men. If I had the opportunity to sleep with Tiger while he was married I would never have done that."

Mistress or not, Holly tells Extra she's currently in talks with Vivid Entertainment to star in a porn film based on her one-night stand with Tiger Woods.

Get ready to see Tiger Woods as you've never seen him!

"There are things that are in the works," Sampson said. "Honestly, parodies are hilarious. I love that stuff. I know a lot of people that love that stuff."

Vivid Entertainment cofounder Steve Hirsch, however, hopes the flick will be a more accurate portrayal of Tiger Woods' sexy fling with Holly Sampson.

"We have shown Holly a script we're working on that would sort of detail her time with the world's #1 golfer. "We're thinking more like a docudrama."

"We want her to reenact events exactly as they happened."

Wow. One of Tiger Woods' mistresses - er, sorry, one-night stands - filmed as a XXX faux-documentary. Now that would be an erotic twist we didn't see coming.

Some proposed titles:

  • Tiger's Wood
  • The 19th Hole
  • Nine (Inch) Iron
  • The Ryder (D) Cup
  • Tiger Woods' Bachelor Party
  • I Banged the World's #1 Golfer and All I Got Was a Lousy Interview on Extra and a Few Poorly-Written Articles on Celebrity Gossip Websites

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The thought of Tara Reid nude in Playboy makes us sick.

Apparently, Teresa Giudice can relate. The Real Housewife of New Jersey responded to Bethenny Frankel's naked PETA ad yesterday and Tweeted:

"To quote Bethenny: 'I just threw up a little in my mouth.'"

Giudice - whose feud with Frankel stems from a September interview the latter gave in which she referred to Teresa as her "least favorite housewife" because she's "whiny and unintelligent" - added that Bethenny is a liar.

Bethenny Frankel Nude

The reality TV bragged this week that she was "already pregnant" when the photo was taken and was "pleased" with how it turned out "because it doesn't look like there's been any airbrushing."

"Help me understand this," Giudice wrote. "Bethenny is happy with her naked pic because she was 'already pregnant' at the time. She says she's now three months along, but she did the shot in August. Even if she's four months pregnant now, she would've been, like, one hour pregnant in the pic.

"Someone tell Bethenny that sperm does not make you look fat, and I'm not buying the airbrushing thing in any case."

The claws, and buttocks, are out in full force!

You tell us, readers: do you agree with Teresa? Would you tap Bethenny Frankel's exposed ass?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Whitney Eve, a new fashion line from Whitney Port of The City fame, hits boutiques January 30 and features everything from sharply tailored blazers and breezy rainbow-hued blouses to glittery cocktail dresses with sky-high hemlines.

Here's what Whitney told Women's Wear Daily about her line ...

WWD: How does New York differ from L.A. in terms of fashion?

Whitney Port: I think New York fashion is a lot more sophisticated, more forward-thinking. People are more willing to take chances here. People take more pride in clothing they wear and obviously they have to dress for the elements.

WWD: Do you ever see yourself venturing into accessories?

Whitney Port: I would it but I don't know how talented I'd be.

Whitney Eve Photo

Whitney Eve with Love: Port is ready for her big break.

WWD: You're at People's Revolution five days a week, as we see on The City. How do you have time to work on your own fashion line?

Whitney Port: Actually, I'm in and out of there. I have a design space in there and then I also have my apartment. Kelly [Cutrone] told me, 'This is your passion project, so you do whatever you have to do to get this done'. This is my first priority.

WWD: Other Hills veterans haven't had as much fashion success as they'd hoped. Heidi Montag's line closed quickly after and Lauren Conrad decided to bring hers to Kohl's after not weathering well in the high-end market. Does that concern you?

Whitney Port: I put myself in a different sort of realm as them. Obviously, it's scary. I think it's really hard to break out right now since the fashion industry is struggling. I mean, people don't want to spend their money on clothes right now.

You're always worried about people not understanding your point of view, not being able to get it. But I think my biggest competition is myself.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Twilight Saga star Ashley Greene has a lot of knowledge to pass along to young people. For instance:

Never take nude photos of yourself with a digital camera.

The actress also covers the latest issue of TeenPROM and offers advice to all high schoolers about to embark on this rite of passage. Pay close attention, kids...

On planning for the event: “Definitely plan ahead because the actual day can be kind of stressful. Planning everything out helps a lot. When picking out your dress, make sure you’re really comfortable in it because you are going to be dancing around, moving around, sitting, eating and all of that stuff.”

On comfort: “Be yourself and don’t overdo it. People have a lot of anticipation for an event like prom and end up overdoing it or wearing too much makeup. Really make sure you are comfortable because then you’ll feel beautiful, instead of going overboard and asking yourself, ‘Oh my gosh, what did I do?’”

On putting out: "Do it, ladies! It will make your man happy."

Okay. We made the last quote up.

Ashley also takes part in DonateMyDress.org, a charity whose name explains its mission. It's really the most important tip she can give anyone: always help those less fortunate than yourself.

Click on the photos below for more shots of Green...

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