Shanna Moakler should bask in the glory of her triumph over Paris Hilton.

After all, the former Miss USA and Dancing with the Stars contestant has won: she's back together with Travis Barker, despite Paris' attempts to tongue wrestle him away.

Still, the dueling diva couldn't help but try and one up each other at the Complex Magazine Fifth Anniversary party in L.A. on April 10.

The two spied each other at club Area and immediately began making out with their respective pieces of man candy in what onlookers described as a "makeout off." And poor Joe Francis was too busy being stuck in jail to videotape the spectacle.

The Meet The Barkers co-stars were the first to arrive, holding hands and announcing that they were "in love" and "still married," while speaking about it to every media outlet on the red carpet.

"They were super polite and so happy with each other," an eyewitness told Us Magazine. Once inside, the two cozied up in a booth and were all over each other all night, like lonely guys in search of nude Haley Scarnato pictures.

A short while later, Hilton showed up with new beau Desperate Housewives' Josh Henderson. After walking the carpet, she was escorted into the club where she eyed Shanna and Travis and immediately told publicists to seat them as far from them as possible.

Both couples kissed "as if they were trying to one up each other," says the eyewitness. "[Paris Hilton] was so all over Josh and they were slow-dancing and making out all night."

Just when it seemed like the night couldn't get any less classy, Kim Kardashian showed up. She entered the shindig alone and demanded to sit far from Paris.

Ray J's ex was then ushered across the room and spent the evening texting with Sons of Hollywood star, David Weintraub.

When the 10th season of ABC's hit reality series The Bachelor kicked off last week, America got to know one of the most well-rounded contestants to date.

Both an officer and a gentleman, 30-year-old Andy Baldwin is a navy diver, a doctor, a tri-athlete, a philanthropist and a family man.

Yes. The Bachelor seems to be a genuinely good guy this time around. It's a bit nauseating for us to admit, but Us Weekly caught up with him for an expanded interview recently, and we have it here for you...

Us: How did you become the next bachelor?

Andy Baldwin: I didn't try out - it really came to me.

One of my friends saw an ad and said I'd be great for the show. I was sitting in my office one day last fall and the phone rang. [Producers] called and said "We want you to be on the next season of The Bachelor on ABC."

I was like "What?" I was recently single and didn't think it was going to be possible, given my military background. I was skeptical of the type of women they've had on in the past and the type of bachelors. After a few emails and calls, I finally mustered up the courage to float the idea past my Commanding Officer, who was totally supportive.

Us: What is it you have that perhaps the bachelors before you didn't?

Andy Baldwin: I'm not an Italian prince (like Lorenzo Borghese). I'm not an heir to a large tire company, I don't want to be an actor and I'm not a quarterback. I'm just a guy that grew up in a small town in Pennsylvania with a great family. I'm a Navy diver and doctor serving my country out in Pearl Harbor - a wonderful career I'm committed to. I just haven't met the woman who is right for me yet.

Us: Is the abundance of Southern women vying for your affections on the show perhaps a hint at how things could turn out this season?

Andy Baldwin: [laughs] I don't know. Wait and see.

Us: On the season premiere, you celebrated your 30th birthday (as recapped by the Sports Gal). Some of the women baked you a cake but swapped out eggs for tequila. How was that?

Andy Baldwin: [laughs] It was delicious! When one of the women expressed she had the same birthday - what are the odds? - I told her it was my birthday too. I had no idea the girls had baked a cake on the spot.

Us: Can you tell us about a particular date you enjoyed during your time on the show?

Andy Baldwin: The date I enjoyed tremendously was the charity date we did - helping a local elementary school redo their grounds. It involved interacting with the kids and helping out the community, something that's very important to me. To see the women in that environment was truly special.

THG NOTE: We get a similar feeling seeing Hayden Panettiere in other environments.

Us: Do you plan to have children yourself one day?

Andy Baldwin: Definitely. I can't wait!

Us: Have your Naval buddies at the base been supportive?

Andy Baldwin: They're super-excited. They cannot wait to meet her and they're very happy for their doctor. A lot of these navy divers are still single and they said they'd be available for personal bereavement counseling for the women who didn't get votes.

Us: Lastly, while it will be a while until we learn which lady you've chosen on The Bachelor, are you finding it hard to keep your relationship a secret?

Andy Baldwin: So hard. We finished March 14 after seven weeks. It was very intense emotionally and physically but I'm in a very happy place right now.

THG NOTE: Hopefully a different kind of happy place than Sean Stewart goes when ogling his stepmother. Sorry. That was wrong.

They really have no idea how to celebrate a celebrity wedding in India. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes need to get on the phone, ASAP.

After all, two of India's hottest movie stars, Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan, have secretly sent invitations to their private wedding this month. a newspaper reported Thursday, not even alerting Hollywood gossip rags, such as this one, about who's invited.

The nerve!

For weeks, the Indian media has been reporting that the Bollywood couple will wed in a small private ceremony on April 20 at Bachchan's family home in suburban Mumbai. But the couple, sadly, won't be following the lead of Elizabeth Hurley and Arun Nayar - no multi-marriage, spotlight-grabbing nuptials for this pair.

And why is that unfortunate? Well, have you ever seen an Aishwarya Rai photo? The more we can get this beauty in the news, the better.

For now, we'll have to hope that Salma Hayek and François-Henri Pinault have the sort of lavish Hollywood ceremony we're used to in the States. That'll show Aishwarya how it's done!

Is "Hollywood Car Wash" - a new novel about a young, innocent actress from the Midwest who enters into a "contracted relationship" with a huge Hollywood star - inspired by the lovely, brainwashed and imprisoned Katie Holmes?

Various celebrity gossip blogs have reported that the BFF of Victoria Beckham got a copy of the book from a friend and is "furious" over it. It gets worse than that, too.

When asked if Katie Holmes received the book, author Lori Culwell played it close to the vest: "I do know someone who knows her right now and might have given her the book," Culwell told TMZ.

"I can't discuss any relationship with Katie Holmes," she continued. "But I am sorry that she's upset about the book."

How coy. On her lawyer's advice, Culwell wouldn't saywhether or not she knows the mute, submissive mother of Suri Cruise, but maintains the book is "based on real stories," and "the main character is based on a person that is never, ever going to talk to me again." 

So basically, it's as if she wrote a book that's not about Britney Spears, but rather a young Southern girl who achieves superstardom before marrying twice, cranking out two kids and spiraling into a period of drugs, booze, depression and possible insanity. And Red Bull. Lots and lots of Red Bull.

In any case, "Hollywood Car Wash" is Culwell's debut novel, about a girl who lands a TV pilot and is forced to lose weight and completely change her appearance to be more marketable. She's kept on a tight leash and gets "new teeth, blonder hair, and a huge Hollywood star boyfriend with a big secret."

Sounds like Tom Cruise to us. The secret? Scientology kills!

Just kidding. Not really. Anyway, the submissive mute's rep, Ina Treciokas, flatly denies the rumors, saying Katie has "never heard it, never read it and doesn't know the author."

Just the same, the book has already drawn attention from a few film studios.

"Three production companies are reading it for adaptation now," Culwell said, before slyly adding, "Maybe Katie Holmes would like to play the main character."

That would be a great example of art imitating life… almost as much as Tara Conner starring in a movie about a young beauty queen who lets her cravings for drinking, cocaine and men (and fellow beauty queens!) get in the way of her responsibilities.

When you're a grown woman and everyone starts applauding you hitting triple digits with your weight (as several blogs have reported) ... that's a pretty good indicator you had one or more eating disorders in the past.

Just saying. We all know that "exhaustion" and "dehydration" don't exist.

Just the same, this is a positive news story, as it looks like a little TLC is just what the doctor ordered for America's favorite stick figure and DUI arrest queen: Nicole Richie.

With her relationship with Joel Madden going strong, the petite paparazzi princess has revealed a pair of slightly healthier, thicker legs - which undoubtedly is a good thing in her case. Check out these remarkably non-grotesque pics of Nicole Richie... 

While we're skeptical that Nicole actually put on 15 pounds since her arrest (when it was learned she weighed just 85 pounds), it's good to see these two happy and not letting recent breakups with Brody Jenner and Hilary Duff keep them down.

Keep up the good work, team. And Nicole - keep on keeping the food inside your digestive tract. We know it's tempting to blow chunks, but you can do it. Someone has to set an example for Allegra Versace.

Move over, Ashley Judd.

You're no longer the celebrity face of the University of Kentucky athletic department. As proven by the ad campaign below, that honor now falls to Tara Conner.

While we bet the school would sell even more tickets if it paired this former Miss USA with her ex-kissing partner, Katie Blair, we can see why just a glimpse of this beautiful face would spur interest in college hockey.

But if you're a university looking for an advertising edge, here are a few other ideas The Hollywood Gossip staff has come up to help spur ticket sales:

• A media guide picture of Hayden Panettiere licking another girl's breast. We know where you can find one.
• An excited Larry Birkhead as your guest public address announcer.
• Pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt nude on the ice. Trust us.

If all else fails, you can always hand out copies of the Lauren Conrad sex tape at the gates.

Hayden Panettiere doesn't like being called Lindsay Lohan.

But as we saw two days ago, she doesn't mind co-opting her signature salute.

And as we discussed yesterday, she doesn't mind dressing like her. How YOU doin'?

Or acting like her, as the picture below indicates. The Hollywood Gossip is not certain when this picture was taken, or who the other girl is in this picture of Hayden Panettiere.

But this is clearly a picture of Hayden Panettiere licking the breasts of another young lady. Just in case you were unclear on that.

Yup, that's something else, isn't it? We've come to expect some big things from the 17-year-old Heroes star, but this kind of girl-on-girl action wasn't one of them.

Is this oddly endearing, semi-naughty pic an indicator of what's in store for Hayden Panettiere? We aren't sure... nor are we certain whether we want it to be.

After all, we're crazy about Britney Spears and want her to stay well now that she's clean and sober. Yet she sure makes things a lot more interesting (and titillating) around here with each crotch shot and trip to rehab. Follow?

Borrrr-ing.

Once again, Snoop Dogg pleaded no contest in a L.A. County Superior Court on two felonies related to 2006 arrests on gun and drug charges.

And once again, Snoop Dogg was allowed to walk out of there a free man. As the TMZ photo shown here makes perfectly clear, he's pretty bored by the whole charade at this point.

The Doggfather has given a three-year suspended sentence. In other words, no jail time. The possible narc has also been sentenced to five years of formal probation and 800 hours of community service.

If you live in SoCal, look for Snoop in an orange jumpsuit picking up trash on the side of the road soon. Unless he finds a way to weasel out of that as well. Which is not a bad bet.

Snoop, who's been on tour with Diddy, was arrested on October 27 outside Bob Hope Airport in Burbank after police found a gun and marijuana in his car.

He was later arrested on November 28 near NBC Studios after an appearance on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno." Police say they found the rapper in possession of cocaine, a firearm, a large amount of weed, and having a false compartment in his vehicle. Check out the Snoop Dogg mug shot that resulted from this.

None of this matters, of course, if you've got good enough lawyers. Just ask that "hypothetical murderer" O.J. Simpson, druggie Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty or the self-proclaimed King of Child Molestation Pop, Michael Jackson.

Jason Wahler, we hope you're taking notes. And getting kicked in the face.

American Idol fans bid farewell to Haley Scarnato last night.

After Ryan Seacrest gave her the news, the gorgeous contestant shed more tears than layers of clothing she typically wore every week.

Not that we minded Scarnato's wardrobe choices. Nor did most men around the country. Heck, after the Antonella Barba picture story broke, can you blame others for trying to capitalize on their looks?

Anyway, here's one fan who sure was thankful he paid money for good American Idol seats a couple weeks ago. His view of Haley on stage is akin to that of Britney Spears, as she checks out Luke Walton on the court.

America Ferrera is not engaged to Ryan Piers Williams. Got that? The lovely Ugly Betty actress is upset with recent tabloid reports about this and wants to make it clear.

Similarly, Naomi Campbell is looking to shoot down rumors that she cleaned toilets or was romantically involved with a fellow sanitation worker during her five-day community service stint in Manhattan.

The 36-year-old supermodel was sentenced to five days' hard work in January for chucking a phone at her maid last year.

"I swept and I cleaned walls and tables and offices. I tidied up," Naomi Campbell said.

As for rumors about her and a guy, who tabloids nicknamed the "Sanitation Stud," Campbell says it's all a load of, um, community service garbage.

"He's become a friend of mine - he and his wife. I felt terrible when they exposed him in the papers after I left. I thought that was really uncalled for. He was just simply being a really sweet person," she says.

Not so sweet that she's eager to return to that line of work again. After running afoul of the law, Campbell says she's learned her lesson and will calm down a bit.

THG NOTE: You listening, Joe Francis?

"I'm in an honest place with myself," she says.

"I've had to look at the people I have around me and I need honesty in my life today - people that tell me the truth, not people who say yes. And I don't have any yes people left in my life."

We guess she threw all of those people out with the... um, trash. Much like we're hoping Britney Spears does with all her loser friends.