Criss Angel is an illusionist.

But there doesn't appear to be anything made up about his new relationship with Cameron Diaz.

For the second week in a row, Diaz was in Las Vegas hanging out with the magician. After arriving in town Friday afternoon, the pair dined at celeb hot spot Social House at Treasure Island.

The couple arrived for dinner at 6:30 p.m. and took a spot in the restaurant's lounge chatting over drinks before retreating to a private dining room overlooking The Strip, as Angel tried to ignore the fact that he must live up to uber-stud Justin Timberlake in the minds of many.

After midnight, the pair popped up at PURE Nightclub at Caesars Palace, where they cuddled in the VIP area drinking wine and whispering into each other's ear, a source told People magazine.

Could the duo soon end up like newly married couple Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil?

It may be too soon to tell.

But Diaz and Angel then made their way upstairs to the outdoor patio at PURE. They leaned over the rail, looking up and down the Strip before leaving the club through a side door around 1:15 a.m. But the night didn't end there, as celebrity gossip spies were all over this couple: The two eventually turned up at Hard Rock Hotel's Body English.

Once there, we can only assume they discussed the absurdity that is Britney Spears' hair.

In the Hollywood Gossip's world, there are nipple slips, such as the one shown to us recently by Lindsay Lohan frolicking in the surf with new boy toy Calum Best.

Then there are full-on boob slips.

Mischa Barton, the former star of The OC and anorexic waif extraordinaire, gave us the latter.

And oh, how grateful we are for her efforts.

Fresh off her breakup with Cisco Adler, Mischa was enjoying a night out in London last night, when she returned to her hotel with an unidentified male friend.

Her top came undone (as you can see) as she gave the paparazzi a little peek before she quickly buttoned up. Nice work. Barton's ability to dress herself appropriately appears to be in line with her driving skills.

Hey, there's a lot to be said for consistency.

As far as partially-nude pics of former OC stars go, we'd much prefer pics of Rachel Bilson like this one, as she's 10 times hotter. Of course, she's also 10 times more private and reserved, so you'd never actually see Bilson in this kind of situation.

Put that irony in your pipe and smoke it, Alanis Morrisette. Speaking of which, we know just the person you could go chill and smoke a joint with.

This just in: Amy Winehouse said "Yes, yes, yes!"

The singer married her fiancé, Blake Fielder-Civil, on Friday in Miami Beach, her representative confirmed yesterday.

"Amy Winehouse did get married to fiancé Blake Fielder-Civil this morning in a very private, intimate ceremony. They are very happy."

You could say it was ... wait for it... a civil ceremony. Get it!? We are good.

Blake Fielder-Civil, who is duking it out with François-Henri Pinault for most hyphenated and random celebrity husband/fiance of the year, proposed to Winehouse just a few weeks back with a diamond ring from Tiffany.

The 23-year-old "Rehab" and "You Know I'm No Good" singer, who's rumored to be the next James Bond girl, is currently in Miami shooting a spread for Rolling Stone.

Following the ceremony, the couple celebrated their union with piña coladas and mudslides poolside at the Shore Club before heading to the beach.

"They look so happy and in love," a witness at the hotel said. "She wore shorts and a tank top. They were all over each other."

Think Winehouse hater Lily Allen is jealous?

This concludes the Gossip's three-named celebrity beau news for today. Ryan Piers Williams, boyfriend of America Ferrera, is now on the clock. Hurry up and pop the question, Ryno!

Congratulations to Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil once again.

Shifting gears: In other Blake news, how about that Blake Lewis? That beat-boxing maniac has captured our hearts, whether he wins American Idol or not.

Some websites sites are braver than this one.

The good Samaritans at Fleshbot.com have selflessly subjected themselves to the crimes against amateur celebrity porn perpetrated by opportunistic former Saved by the Bell star Dustin Diamond and reviewed his infamous sex tape.

Interestingly, first off, the sex tape is apparently called Screeched, not Saved By the Smell, as was widely reported when the story broke last fall.

In any case, we've got excerpts of their review of the Dustin Diamond sex tape - which the actor first claimed was stolen from him and "somehow" made its way into the hands of vaunted celebrity image broker (best job title ever) David Hans Schmidt.

On the tape, Screech supposedly lures a pair of bachelorette party goers back to his motel for erotic adventurea involving a bubble bath and some nice defiling of them - the extent of which we can't even describe for fear of our advertisers dropping us.

Here are excerpts from the review, which is nothing short of a huge letdown:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shot in very poor P.O.V. style, Screeched features too many shots of Dustin Diamond's face. It is a plus, though, that the banter seems real and that the bachelorette party, getting consistently drunker, appears nevertheless to be doing this of their own volition.

That Diamond, whose financial woes drove him to selling anti-foreclosure t-shirts, now peddles a sex tape through Paris Hilton sex tape purveyors Red Light District, comes across as painfully self-conscious should be a given, but that the video fails to reveal any hidden redeeming talents is the unkindest cut of all.

And that hyped Dirty Sanchez comes as something of an anticlimax. There is poo. Apparently 'Bro' offers points for that sort of thing.

The Screeched DVD also contains unrelated bonus scenes from porn pros just in case viewers feel Shaved by the Quality. The sex isn't good, but a tape one makes for one's friends isn't really about that, anyway."

Who will win our celebrity gossip battle of the abs?

Matthew McConaughey. Every time. That's why we decided not to let him play this round, and give some other stars a shot. On the left, we see The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman hunk Andy Baldwin out for a run in N.Y. City.

Oooooga. Whether he picks Tessa or Bevin on next week's season finale of The Bachelor is uncertain, but one thing is for sure - both are lucky to have gotten a piece of that fine ass.

Opposing Baldwin is an actress who's in tip-top shape herself. Seen here leaving a recent workout, Kate Hudson is showing no signs of having had a baby, son Ryder, three years ago now. She's whipped that tummy back into washboard shape like nobody's business. Do you have to register those things? Damn!

Owen Wilson, if you're hitting this... we still thought Wedding Crashers was kind of overrated. Not your best. Sorry man. You can do better. Don't get complacent.

Anyway, it's nice to see Hudson no longer resembles an anorexic Kate Bosworth. We're happy for you, K-Hud. And even happier for the viewing public, which is no longer subjected to such horrific imagery.

Baldness is sooooooo last month, apparently, as Britney Spears' horrific blonde extensions have made yet another appearance on the pop star's head.

The reaction? Let's just say they've received a response only slightly more positive than Simon Monjack got after he somehow married Brittany Murphy.

Despite two days of brutally hard work on the part of professional stylists, Britney Spears' head still looks like a total a mess.

Yesterday, our celebrity gossip staffers reported that Britney's inch-long real hair has been given the extension treatment, and that the wigs have been discarded.

So much for Allie's hard work. But she best not throw out that wig collection just yet, because by the look of things, she's going to need more than a li'l touch-up on those extensions.

Meanwhile, with Sean Preston and possibly Jayden James in tow, Britney Spears hit up her favorite haunts - a fast food joint and the ever-popular Millennium Dance Studio, clad in a tight little black number.

Perhaps she felt morbid after seeing pictures of her hair in the mirror, or was mourning the return of possible man-toy Howie Day to rehab.

Please ... pick your shocked, awed jaws off the floor.

It appears that the epic romance of Jessica Simpson and John Mayer - a match made in heaven from the start - has officially run its course.

As first reported by Perez Hilton, Jess and John have split. TMZ cameras caught a solo Mayer at the NYC hotspot Stereo, last night, looking happy on his own.

Get in line ladies, your body could be a wonderland next, if you play your cards right (even if you're not as hot as Jennifer Love Hewitt).

As for the reason for the dissolution, a rep for John Mayer refused to comment on the Grammy winner's personal life and a rep for Jess couldn't be reached.

Could it be because Myer is an award-winning singer and songwriter who meets with presidential candidates and made Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential list, while she's just an airhead with enormous boobs and some hair extensions?

Just a theory.

Still, this is such a shame. Our staff is visibly shaken. We're sure Joe Simpson is really busted up about it. Get it? Bust? Jessica's chest is frickin' huge, people!

Anyway, hang in there, Jess. We know breakups are hard, but one of these days, a dashing Simon Monjack will come along and sweep you off your feet.

Learning that her journey on American Idol ended Wednesday night was the first time Melinda Doolittle had taken a breath in a really long time, the singer said yesterday.

"Knowing that I had made it this far and knowing that I was going to be able to sing from here on out without being judged and voted... it was just like this sigh of relief," Doolittle told Ryan Seacrest on his morning radio show. "Now I'm getting ready to sing just because I love it."

The former backup singer called Seacrest's 102.7 KIIS FM show and told the host that she didn't feel any resentment after being voted off - despite receiving immense and consistent praise from the American Idol judges.

"Two amazing people are in the finale right now and I couldn't be more proud of them," Doolittle, 29, said, referring to next week's pair of finalists, Jordin Sparks, 17, and Blake Lewis, 25.

"Those are still my babies. I'm still their mama. I'm so proud about it and don't feel cheated at all. There are always opportunities out there to grab onto and to take a hold of so I'm just ready for that."

According to Doolittle, Simon Cowell may be prepared to help her find the right opportunity.

"Simon was especially supportive and said, 'I want to see you succeed,'" she said. "That means the world to me. It was great to hear last night."

The ousted American Idol hopeful admits the rigorous process of rehearsals, performances and getting judged on reality TV week after week was difficult.

"I felt like I was working so hard and when [the judges] would say good things I was so excited to hear it... it would put a look of shock on my face."

That isn't the only thing that shocked Melinda Doolittle, who said that the level of fame and recognition she has achieved so far also surprised her.

"Nothing could have prepared me for this. I knew that the show was huge. I did not know that it was this huge," she said. "The fact that it awarded such a big opportunity to me is just the most amazing thing ever."

In other Idol news, Petty Officer Third Class Phil Stacey has been given the go-ahead by the U.S. Navy to join this summer's American Idol tour.

"It is absolutely true," U.S. Navy spokesman Bob Anderson confirms. "They are working on the logistics right now: what he'll be paid, wear, stuff like that."

Stacey, a married father of two (his second child, McKayla, was born while he was trying out for American Idol), will join the top 10: Haley Scarnato, Sanjaya Malakar, Melinda Doolittle, Lakisha Jones, Blake Lewis, Gina Glocksen, Chris Richardson, Chris Sligh and Jordin Sparks as part of the American Idols Live! tour.

Sadly, Shyamali Malakar won't be there. At least not on stage. We think.

The nationwide tour kicks off July 6 in Sunrise, Fla., not far from Phil's Jacksonville home, and wraps up on September 22 in Manchester, N.H.

"I give the Navy all the props in the world," Stacey said the day after his elimination May 2.

"I have loved every moment in the Navy... to do my duty and be a part of what was happening in the war against terror. I don't have any plans of getting out early."

"The Navy is proud of him," adds Anderson. "He's done very well. We want the best for him."

So do we. We're looking forward to seeing Phil on tour. And seeing Jordin Sparks win it all next week. No offense to Blake Lewis, who's an awesome talent with a bright future, but the Gossip has made its choice. We hope you'll make the same one and vote Jordin Sparks!

We've been told by Kevin Federline that he's trash.

But we thought at least he'd stopped getting trashed.

Apparently, however, Howie Day has fallen off the wagon. The 26-year-old "Collide" singer, who befriended Britney Spears after the two met back at Promises Center in March, is apparently back there.

A source close to Howie Day tells Us Weekly simply that: "He has some more issues he has to deal with."

The source did not comment on whether one such issue is his ongoing battle with John Mayer for Lamest Singer of the 21st Century honors.

Howie Day reportedly hooked up with Britney Spears while both were in rehab, and was spotted in L.A. hanging out with the pop star again April 28. 

The loser's problems date back to 2004, when he was arrested after locking a female fan in a bathroom after she refused to perform a sex act on him, and a separate incident in which he was charged with breaking a woman's phone.

Naomi Campbell can appreciate that.

"That was probably wrong of me," Day admitted at the time. "But I felt violated."

Well, that's one way to put it. Here's hoping Howie Day gets violated in an entirely different way back in the good ol' detox facility.

You may not know who Coley Laffoon is, but surely the latter half of this headline doesn't come as a huge shock to you.

Laffoon, Anne Heche's absurdly-named, soon-to-be-ex-hubby, claims that he's worried that the actress isn't psychologically capable of caring for their son... and says she refuses to see a shrink!

In court papers filed this month in L.A. County Superior Court, Coley Laffoon asks a judge for joint custody of the couple's 5-year-old son, Homer, and claims that Heche may be unfit for parenthood.

Specifically, he says that the "bizarre, delusional behavior" and "poor parenting skills" of Heche, who once dated Ellen DeGeneres, could be a problem.

In the papers, Laffoon claims that Anne eschews car seats like Britney Spears, and that she often cusses in front of the child, as well as routinely packing school lunches that Homer "did not like."

Laffoon believes that his prior experience as a nanny and a summer camp counselor justify giving him joint custody. It may also justify him as a Grade A tool.

Laffoon is also asking for $33,000 a month in spousal support, even though he claims he only made $6,000 a year as a videographer before the two were married.

Anne Heche makes $81,000 an episode for her role in "Men In Trees."

Laffoon filed for divorce February 2, 2007. Right around that time, his formerly lesbian wife took up with her co-star, James Tupper. Rumors that Heche and Tupper were more than co-stars surfaced even before the divorce filing.

A spokesperson for Anne Heche released the following statement:

It is disappointing that Coley Laffoon has resorted to filing lies with the court because Anne Heche would not cave in to his astronomical monetary demands, including his demand for $45,000 a month in support. For the past several years, the child's father has refused to get a job in order to contribute financially to the child's care.

Wow. These two loons might not be entering Bobby Brown / Whitney Houston territory, but let's just say our staff feels sorry for poor little Homer.

And not just because his name is Homer. His parents are nuts.