The Hollywood Gossip staff likes to joke that Katie Holmes is stuck inside a prison-like marriage.
But that's nothing compared to where Paris Hilton is headed: a prison-like prison.
The Lynwood Correctional Facility (a.k.a. The Century Regional Detention Facility) is a 13-year-old, $118 million dollar minimum to mid-level security criminal detention center that houses 1,095 inmates. The complex is made up of three double-tier towers for inmates, a food service facility, a medical center and a crafts and operations building.
And we're guessing that the new Paris Hilton boobs will be a hit among female and male prisoners alike.
Cell phones and Blackberry-like devices are banned â€" and so are designer clothes. Hilton will just have to make do with a pre-paid phone card, a TV (no cable, no chance to watch Adrian Grenier on Entourage) in her jail cell and one of three different colored prison jumpsuits.
Paris could also find herself looking like her emaciated co-star on The Simple Life: While inmates get three low-sodium meals a day, beef and pork aren't on the menu â€" just chicken.
But would Nicole Richie even visit her occasional friend in Lynwood, which is described as, "[a] facility providing educational, motivational and rehabilitative services to those inmates involved in 'recovery' programs (substance abuse and domestic violence) who have expressed willingness and a desire to break free from a cycle of crime and imprisonment and to once again become a productive member of society."
That somehow implies that Hilton was ever a productive member of society. Which is sort of like saying Kim Kardashian and Haylie Duff were ever really friends.
Or Alexis Phifer was ever not welcome in the Kanye West household.