by Hilton Hater at . Comments

When most people become parents for the first time, they're overwhelmed by the sounds of a baby crying.

For Kendra Wilkinson and Kourtney Kardashian, however, the only sound they hear when they look at little Mason and Hank is: Cha-ching!

Within days of giving birth, each of these publicity hounds graced the covers of various supermarket tabloids and website home pages.

Now, a few weeks after squaring off in a THG Tale of the Tape, Kendra and Kourtney continue to exploit their children in dueling magazine features.

Among the (utterly mundane) "exclusives" these issues offer readers this week?

  • Scott Disick (gasp!) changes diapers.
  • Hank Baskett loves his wife's backside.
  • Both Kourtney and Kendra are dropping their baby weight (thank goodness!).
  • Mason changed Kourtney's life (by putting a lot more money in her pocket).

Approximately four million women give birth each year in the United States. If any of the 3,999,998 feel like explaining to Kardashian and Wilkinson what motherhood is truly about, we encourage you to do so now.

by Free Britney at . Comments

John Edwards is on the verge of divorcing wife Elizabeth and trawling for other women, according to reports. Inclined not to believe that? We don't blame you.

However, when the Enquirer reported that John was having an affair with Rielle Hunter and got her pregnant in 2007-2008, that seemed ridiculously absurd.

We know how that turned out.

The same celebrity gossip tabloid that outed his previous affair and sank Edwards' career now reports that he has embarked on a "sex-and-booze bender."

While still publicly not admitting paternity of (or financially supporting) his love child - who turns two in February - the disgraced politician is on the prowl!

Before booting her shameless husband from their home after Christmas, Elizabeth Edwards screamed at John that she was "finally signing" divorce papers.

Stephanie Breshears Picture

Edwards fled to the couple's vacation home near Wilmington, N.C., where he drank and attempted to get in the sack with Stephanie Breshears, an attractive bartender.

Stephanie says that Edwards tried to get her to go back to his house for sex "for four consecutive nights" after meeting her at the Kornerstone Bistro, where she works.

"I think he's absolute scum," Stephanie said. "He was definitely looking to pick up women when he came in here - and he wanted me to go back to his house with."

"He said he'd been thinking about me since he and his wife were in last summer. He said I had run through his mind 'time and time' again. He said I was 'attractive.'

"He asked what I was doing after work and I told him I had plans with friends. But he told me he was staying on Figure Eight Island, and that I should join him."

Incredibly, minutes after giving Stephanie his phone number, Edwards started flirting with another woman. "He told her he was 'separated, soon to be divorced.'"

by Free Britney at . Comments

They say truth is stranger than fiction. This old adage may be true in certain instances, but definitely not if you get your news from supermarket tabloid Star.

For Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the magazine boldly declares, there is simply no more faking it. The end has arrived. It is over. Done with. Thing of the past.

Until next week when Star reunites them, most likely.

For now, though, there are secret lovers (Angelina cheating), private eyes (keeping tabs on Jennifer Aniston, who makes Angie fly into a jealous rage), etc.

It's a sad state of affairs, but you knew it was coming every other week eventually. Hopefully Brad's exit plan took the revenge pregnancy into account.

THE END?!?

On Zahara's birthday, Brad? Couldn't even wait until the next day for your weekly breakup with Angelina? That's just wrong, dude. Even more so than the goatee.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Yesterday, THG readers were given the challenge of writing the funniest caption for the picture appearing below. Mike Tyson. Jersey Shore. Endless material.

Your winner for this edition of our Caption Contest is chrissy.

The winning caption entry appears below. Click here to read the full list of submissions. Thank you to everyone for playing and good luck again next time!

Jersey Shore Cast and Mike Tyson

"Two metros, one midget and one tranny. By god, it must be Christmas!"

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

As Edward Cullen, Robert Pattinson tried to resist the urge to bed Bella Swan.

As one of the most sought after young actors in Hollywood, though, will Pattinson be able to resist the calling of another major movie franchise?

Following the news that Spider-Man 4 will reboot the series - doing away with Tobey Maguire as the lead and focusing on Peter Parker as a high school student - one question has been floating around Tinseltown:

Who will step into the costume of this webbed wonder?

Without quoting any sources or providing factual information of any kind, OK! Weekly claims Pattinson is a contender for the iconic role. Could this be true? Sure.

Could it also be another example of this tabloid making up a story about Robert in order to create buzz for itself? Most definitely.

Raw Sex Appeal

Reportedly, Michael Cera and Chace Crawford are also being considered for the role of Peter Parker.

While Pattinson's schedule is jammed with movies - he starts shooting Bel Ami with Uma Thurman in February; and begins production on Breaking Dawn in 2010 - one thing is for sure:

The guy would look good in tights! Do you wanna see Robert as Spider-Man?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Bachelor host-pimp Chris Harrison is in prime damage control mode, trying to quell rumors that the show manufactured Rozlyn Papa's dismissal Monday.

Papa has denied accusations that she entered into an "inappropriate relationship" with a Bachelor staffer, blasting ABC for concocting that ploy for ratings.

Now it's Harrison's turn to point fingers, telling People that Rozlyn Papa "had a physical relationship with a producer on our show. There is no gray area here."

"You cannot do that. Other girls on the show saw it. The producer confessed more than once [and] to more than one person. I cannot make it any clearer.”

"We would never go to the lengths we did, firing somebody and kicking someone off our show if we thought maybe something might be happening,” he adds.

In several interviews since her dismissal from the show, Rozlyn admitted she is "close" to the producer in question, but says no sex or even kissing ever took place.

Regarding Bachelor spoilers that the crew member scandal was concocted to oust Rozlyn Papa because she wouldn’t "hide" her son from Jake Pavelka, Chris says:

“We were five days in to taping. We weren’t worried about her telling Jake she had a son because she had plenty of time because she was one of the front-runners."

"The fact that she is a mom, not a mom, whatever, had nothing to do with the fact that she had a relationship with one of our producers and had to be kicked off.”

Sure thing. If that's the case, Chris, then riddle us this:

  • Why wasn't Rozlyn's affair shown if the other girls witnessed it?
  • Why was the girl's voice from the promo, insisting "she's having a sexual affair with someone in the house,” never played on the actual episode?
  • Why did you ambiguously accuse Rozlyn of an "inappropriate relationship" on the show, rather than explaining in any detail what she supposedly did?
  • Why were there so many edits/voiceovers/camera angle changes during your little chat with Rozlyn? That doesn't look manipulated at all.
  • Why did Jake not even want to talk to Rozlyn and hear her side?

Something to think about. Here's a clip of the drama ...

Who do you believe in The Bachelor scandal?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The first few episodes of American Idol are typically an exercise in patience and predictions.

Viewers must sit through an endless stream of pathetic auditions - some amusing, most annoying - in order to hear that one voice and/or see that one face that could truly become the next American Idol.

Did we meet him or her on last night's season nine premiere? It's possible, although only 32 golden tickets to Hollywood were handed out.

In between the crying, screaming and mannequin-like presence of Victoria Beckham in Boston, the following contestants stood out. Keep these names in mind. One of them could be the next Adam Lambert...

Maddy Curtis: 16 years old, sung “Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen. The ninth of 12 (!!!) chldren, she has two brothers with Down Syndrome and seemed awfully mature for her age. Simon made us chuckle by saying she's actually not an annoying teenager.

Boston Hopefuls

Amadeo Diricco: 28 years old, a classic Italian from Providence. Outsized personality will make for entertaining TV if he sticks around. Sung “Hoochy Coochie Man” by Muddy Waters.

Tyler Grady: A 19-year old drummer stood out for thre reasons. First, he broke both wrists when he fell out of a tree. Second, he had a smooth voice. Third, Kara appeared to want to jump him right on the table.

Katie Stevens: The best voice? No. The best story? Yes, on this night. Just 16 years old, sung “At Last” by Etta James and is very close to her grandmother, who has Alzheimer’s and only speaks Portuguese. The phone call between these two caused Ryan's eyes to tear up after Katie received her ticket to Hollywood.

Justin Williams: Also a great personal story, but we heard it last season when he advanced to Hollywood (and was part of the “White Chocolate” group with Kris Allen and Matt Giraud). A cancer survivor that has undergone multiple surgeries.

Leah Laurenti: A 22-year old from Medford, New York with a powerful voice. Grew emotional as she talked about her upbringing, dreams and religious family's quasi ban on secular music.

WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE CONTESTANT?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

When Ray J plowed Kim Kardashian on tape, we all assumed the aspiring hip hop artist was simply trying to make a name for himself.

But might Ray J have had another motive? Could he have been proving to the world that he's capable of maintaining an erection around the opposite sex?

That's what Monica Danger has implied. The former For the Love of Ray J finalist went on record last week with a startling revelation, one that would rock VH1 reality programming to its very core: Ray J is gay.

"Ray, I love you, I respect you, but you are selling me everywhere," Danger confusingly said, outing the singer and even naming his boyfriend: "Ray J’s lover of years is Young Buck."

Of course, Danger - who's been hospitalized for mental problems and recently lost custody of her daughter as a result - has about as much credibility as Tila Tequila.

Therefore, we might need to side with Ray J when he said in response to this accusation:

"I still got love for Danger, that’s one of my peoples. But I didn’t return her calls for the last 2-3 weeks, so she threatened to say ‘I’m going to tell people you’re gay!’ She went along and actually did it! I’m not gay, but I got love for gay people because I work with gay people... girls and dudes. I’m comfortable with my sexuality."

Anyone that watched Kim Kardashian Superstar is well aware of that! So are the walking STDs that exchange bodily fluids with Ray J on a weekly basis, as filmed by VH1 and evidenced below:

by Free Britney at . Comments

Phew. Heidi Montag says that her contrived quest to have kids with husband Spencer Pratt, depicted on an entire season of The Hills, is "kind of on hold."

Why? Her efforts to be a "pop star" have taken priority.

"I'm really trying to do this pop star [thing], my first album, so I think that would be distracting from this album coming out," Mrs. Spencer Pratt said.

Heidi just dropped her first album, fittingly titled Superficial: "But one day I would love to have kids. I don't know if Spencer quite feels the same way."

Future Pop Star

The Hills star spent years working on Superficial, which features songs like "I'll Do It," in which she tells a lover to "come eat my panties off of me."

Classy.

R-rated lyrics or not, Montag said "it's very personal, empowering music about living life and enjoying every moment and living it up. Club music."

Music that makes you want to club her maybe.

If you haven't heard the unmatched musical greatness that is "I'll Do It" yet, follow the jump to listen and vote on how you feel it stacks up ...

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Having briefly left Twitter and taken her crazy, online rants to Facebook for a time, Courtney Love returned to her social networking site of choice recently.

And posted topless pictures of herself.

Amanda Bynes Twit Pic

Maybe she's trying to show Lindsay Lohan how it's done. Maybe she's jealous of how much attention Tila Tequila has been getting through inane Tweets.

Just please don't do this ever again:

Anyone wondering why Frances Bean Cobain wanted to be legally set free from her mother likely need not look any farther than the disturbing image above.

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