by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Kourtney Kardashian has lost a great deal of her baby weight because she takes QuickTrim, the same unhealthy, non-FDA approved supplement shilled for by sisters Kim and Khloe.

You're welcome. We just saved you the price of this week's OK! Weekly.

Indeed, Kourtney poses on the cover of that magazine's latest edition, once again cradling son Mason and setting a great example for talentless socialites around the world:

You, too, can achieve fame and fortune if you get knocked up outside marriage and sell your soul to a weight loss supplement.

Save yourself 50 cents. Read about Jessica Simpson's new body, Jen and Gerard's flirting and everything related to Jake Pavelka on THG!

This is the third consecutive week Kourtney and Mason have graced the cover of a supermarket tabloid. You tell us:

Is this an example of capitalism at its best, or of an explotive mother pimping out her helpless baby in exchange for an increased bank account?

Baby Cover

by Free Britney at . Comments

Don't complain to us about the risque headline above. John Mayer wrote it for us, basically. The dude may be a tool, but at the very least he is an honest tool.

He does not hold back, either. In the new issue of Rolling Stone, John opens up about Jennifer Aniston, calling their breakup "one of the worst times of my life."

The douchebag singer confesses: “I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for people I’ve had relationships with. What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f**ing fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well."

"But, I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.”

We think that was a compliment to Jen. Either way, we're pleased to report that John has come to grips with being single. And oh, how gripping it can be.

  • John Mayer Topless
  • The Mayer of D-Bags

John Mayer topless. Hotness personified?

"All I want to do now is f**k the girls I’ve already f**ked," John says, "I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I'm interested, and they’re going, ‘But you’re John Mayer!’ So I’m going backwards to move forward.”

"I'm too freaked out to meet anyone else."

As a resort, John has resorted to self-gratification, and he's a pro, if he doesn't say so himself: “I am the new generation of masturbator. I’ve seen it all."

"Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week. I have masturbated myself out of some serious problems in my life."

"The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion.”

Comment rendered unnecessary.

Reigning Douche King

John Mayer: Guitar icon. Chronic masturbator.

Just to clarify, Mayer says the underlying reason for choking the chicken isn’t to please some carnal urge, but “because I want to take a brain bath. It’s like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself.”

We just hope he washes his hands after.

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Thanks to the futility of the Cubs, Chicago is known as a city of lovable losers.

But Katelyn Epperly may change all that.

The curly-haired 19-year old from Iowa was the top auditioner in the Windy City last night. She told a sad personal story about her father leaving and then wowed American Idol judges with a version of Duffy's “Syrup and Honey."

Randy loved her unique sound, while guest judge Shania Twain told Epperly: “I think you have a voice that could sing a hit song."

What else do we know about Katelyn so far?

  • She fronts a folk-rock band called Katelyn & the Bruises.
  • She cites her musical influeces as Wilco, Good Old War, the Format, Thom Yorke and Fiona Apple, among others.
  • She portrayed Dorothy in a 2004 production of The Wizard of Oz at the Des Moines Playhouse.

Other golden ticket recipients from Chicago included Charity Vance, John Park and Paige Dechausse. But, from this group, only Epperly is rumored to have advanced to the final 24.

Watch her audition below and sound off on her chances to be crowned the next American Idol.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Having undergone so many plastic surgery procedures that she barely resembles her past self, Heidi Montag says she just tries to beautiful, inside and out.

Asked on Good Morning America for a response to those who say she is addicted to plastic surgery, Montag tried to say she's not addicted ... or something:

"I would say that none of those people know me at all. That's just a judgment. I'm not addicted. If I were addicted, I would have had 10 plastic surgeries."

What she had, actually, was 10 procedures on the same day in November. This followed previous plastic surgery three years ago where she had a lot done.

In a recent interview, Montag admitted she was "beyond obsessed" with having work done. She is now backing away from that notion ... only not really.

Fake Girl

Spencer Pratt's barely recognizable wife. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Asked why she'd want to look like a Barbie doll, Montag replied: "I think I look like myself. I think I just look like a different, improved version of myself."

Many observers are upset with the message that's sent to young girls when an already attractive 23-year-old chooses to undergo so many alterations.

But Heidi Montag says it's her life – and her line of work. Yes, work.

"I'm in a different industry," Montag said, "I have to do things that are going to make me happy. I'm living in my skin, and I look in the mirror and it's my career and my life, and you only have one. So, I want to take advantage of everything."

But has it helped or hurt? Tell us! Heidi Montag looks hotter ...

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Is Britney losing it?

In a display of tantrums and cries for help, the deeply troubled singer has been pulling out her hair in clumps, throwing screaming fits and worse.

Britney Spears has been so unstable recently that her father warns he will have her committed to the psych ward again, according to sources.

In a grim flashback to her public meltdown in 2007, she even threatened to kill herself while arguing with her father and conservator, Jamie.

"Her dad's reaction was clear - keep it up and she'll end up back in a mental ward," revealed a source close to Britney Spears' family.

We know it did great things for her and got her back on track, but it's been three years. Is Jamie stretching the conservatorship out too long?

Loony Bin Calling

Britney Spears is supposedly depressed because Jamie has no intention of ending the legal conservatorship he holds over her - for at least another three years!

By then, Britney will be 31, and her estate may be worth $1 billion from album and concert sales. Only then will she be free to make her own decisions.

Meanwhile, Jamie Spears has his sexy daughter booked for as many tours and albums as her management can land. You gotta milk that cash cow hard!

"Britney had her hopes up because her dad told her if she did an Australian concert tour, which ended November 29, he would free her," said a source.

"But when the court extended the conservatorship before Christmas, it shattered Britney. She was thrown for a loop," and thinks it was his plan all along.

Spears is due back in court Friday for a status update on the conservatorship. Hopefully they don't take away more rights from the credit card bandit.

by Free Britney at . Comments

You know Nicole Polizzi as Snooki from MTV's hit show Jersey Shore. People in Poughkeepsie used to know her as the fake-tanned, 80-pound girl.

After The Situation mocked Snooki's "rolls" on the show last week, he hit close to home. She tearfully announced she once had an eating disorder.

"In high school, I really wouldn't eat," Nicole Polizzi revealed on The Insider on Tuesday. "I would only have lunch, and I would only have salads."

"It got so crazy that I would only eat a cracker or a cucumber a day and I would feel full. I would go into the nurses office every day and I would weigh myself. When she [the school nurse] realized that I hit 80 pounds, she was like, 'This isn't good.'"

Nicole Polizzi Photo

Luckily for her, the nurse notified Snookers' parents.

"My parents told me, 'You need to eat, this is dangerous,'" says Snooki, who is 4-foot-9. "So I gained my weight back to like 98, where I always was."

On Friday, The Situation (a.k.a. Mike Sorrentino) said that he felt bad after mocking his co-star while they were dining out together in Atlantic City.

"I regret saying it because I have a sister and a mother, but at the same time, everything happened so quickly and that is what happened," he said.

You know how it goes. The Situation quotes just happen so fast. That's nice that he apologized, though, and we're glad Snookems is healthy now.

Well, minus that hair.

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He may have performed in front of millions of American Idol viewers and seen his album sales take off, but Adam Lambert didn't officially strike it big until yesterday.

That's when he sat down with talk show icon Oprah Winfrey. The singer didn't touch on anything new in the interview - no, he doesn't regret his American Music Awards performance; yes, he's gay - but he did take the next step in a burgeoning career.

In the following clip, Lambert takes fans on a mini journey of his life. In a nutshell: he eats and he shops. See what we mean:

Lambert also shared his New Year's resolution with viewers: to enjoy every single moment in the spotlight.

He recognized that fame is fleeting and that many winners of American Idol quickly fell out of the public consciousness (no offense, Taylor Hicks). Therefore, he's gonna try his hardest to take in every opportunity and always appreciate what he's accomplished.

Spoken like the Adam Lambert we know and love, right?

Of course, Adam performed for Oprah and fans, too. Watch his rendition of "If I Had You" below.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Her character got engaged to end the last season of Entourage, but in real life, Emmanuelle Chriqui has even better news to share:

She's the most desirable woman in the world, at least according to Askmen.com.

That website has concluded its annual poll with an unexpected result: last year's winner, Megan Fox, has fallen all the way to number-11. Chriqui has sky-rocketed to the front because...

... we don’t know her, which is a rarity in the paparazzi-infested 21st century. Chriqui is reminiscent of Old Hollywood glamour in the sense that the only glimpses we see of her personal life exist on red carpets.

Is that really a reason to rank this beauty at the top of such a sexy list? Sure, she speaks fluent English and French. And she was involved in a threesome a couple years ago on Entourage, but still.

Check out her photos below and then let us know your thoughts:

  • Emmanuelle
  • Emmanuelle Chriqui Image

Is Emmanuelle Chriqui really the most desirable woman on the planet?

 

The following women rounded out the top 10. Would you have voted for any over Chriqui?

  • Miranda Kerr
  • Eva Mendes
  • Cheryl Cole
  • Penelope Cruz
  • Beyonce
  • Jessica Alba
  • Alessandra Ambrosio 
  • Kate Beckinsale
  • Marisa Miller

by Free Britney at . Comments

If you were an elite golfer, member of the Bones cast or random married rich guy, Friday, January 29, was going to be an awesome night in Palm Beach, Fla.

That's because the O.G. Tiger Woods' mistress, Rachel Uchitel, was scheduled to appear at a hot club in that city to ring in her 35th birthday that night. Was.

The shindig has officially been canceled, and you're not going to believe why. Because all the other Tiger Woods mistresses decided to crash it! Just kidding.

According to Rachel's lawyer, Gloria Allred, "The media attention was unexpected and unwelcome and for that reason the planned party will not take place."

Rachel Uchitel is trying to keep a low profile. Well, mostly.

Media attention scared her off? Interesting explanation, since it's Gloria Allred... and Rache's birthday party invite somehow appeared online six days ago.

An accident? Doubtful.

Uchitel was the first of many, many women linked to Tiger Woods after the married golfer smashed his car and obliterated his reputation in late November.

She's laid low ever since and has not been seen often in public. Same is true of Tiger, who recently began seeking treatment for sex addition in Mississippi.

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In the latest issue of Allure, Beyonce opens up about a number of topics.

Does she want children? What game is she hooked on? And will we see Sasha Fierce ever again? Find out below...

On having kids: “I definitely want to have a child, but I know from my nephew [Juelz] it’s a lot. I hope that those things will just happen naturally. I still haven’t had time to relax.”

On playing Spades online: "I play with everybody, and they curse me out when I make mistakes, and kick me out of the room. I love it, it’s really fun because no one knows it’s me.”

On alter-ego Sasha Fierce: “The thing that’s interesting is I don’t need Sasha Fierce anymore, because I’ve grown, and I’m now able to merge the two. I want people to see me. I want people to see who I am.”

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