Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis has developed - wait for it - a flesh eating disease! Anybody got a veterinarian's number on you?

Gummi Bear has a staph infection, a TMZ staffer reports. How did he do it? Why, scraping his legs in a nasty fall a couple of months ago.

No word on whether Jason Davis was sprinting after a runaway plate of pasta at the time he happened to suffer the nasty spill.

The open wounds became infected, causing "weeping" sores that spread all over his body, back and legs. One could say (wait for it) that it's rather unbearable!

"I am literally being eating alive," said Brandon Davis' brother.

Alright, enough of this nonsense. From now on if we want to talk about some serious flesh we wouldn't mind eating, we'll stick to Mary-Louise Parker naked.

But in other Gummi Bear news (sorry), the ursine wonder stole the show at the beach last weekend ... by stealing the camera of a celebrity news reporter!

Jason Davis, wrapped in a blue sarong, traded a pack of smokes for a camera and put on a show, chasing after How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days producer Christine Forsyth-Peters.

In a recent AP article, Mary-Louise Parker was asked about her recent nude publicity photographs for Weeds.

She replied that it was no big deal because "I've been naked quite a bit, actually. You Google me, you'll see it all.

So we did. Alas, our celebrity gossip staff could not any pics of this actress completely naked. (We had no trouble uncovering Holly Madison nude photos, however.).

What gives? Well, Parker may not have meant her quote to be taken so literally. The truth is that this beautiful star has bared her breasts and most of her body in a few movies. They are:

• Grand Canyon
• The Five Senses
• Angels in America

So queue up your Netflix account, readers, and give yourself the gift of Mary-Louise Parker naked and in action.

Meanwhile, if you wish to check out Vida Guerra pretty much nude, just look at any picture of this model.

As if news that we won't be seeing Jessica Simpson nude on screen any time soon wasn't bad enough, now comes this:

Julia Stiles also plans on keeping her clothes on.

"It's not that I'm prudish. It's just that I don't really want to go to work and take off my clothes," the actress said, as Jenna Jameson and Patrice Hollis thought the exact opposite sentiment.

"You'd be surprised how much nudity is called for as an actress," Stiles continued. "I don't have a problem with it or a problem when other actresses do it, but I'm a modest person and generally steer away from nude scenes and love scenes because, more often than not, I find they're gratuitous."

Can you imagine if Noelia took that career stance? We'd never hear a thing about this singer.

We hope you like Julia Stiles with clothes on. That's all you'll be seeing in movies.

Stiles isn't alone in expressing hesitance to bare it all on screen. Despite photo spreads that show Jessica Alba nude, or close to it, that actress also won't don her birthday suit in a movie. Neither will Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman.

Julia added that she's also worried about what will happen to the scenes after they've been released: "People in the film lab can do something with the footage and, no matter what the context is in the actual film, it can end up as pornography on the Internet."

The Hollywood Gossip staff has no idea what Stiles is talking about. We only publicize sexual trysts that were made specifically for public viewing.

Just ask Dustin Diamond, Keeley Hazell, Kim Kardashian, Olivia Mojica...

Britney Spears' prayers have been answered.

Well, not really. Giant bags of pork rinds don't just fall out of the sky, you know.

But Donald Trump himself has offered to hire her and resurrect her career. Along with other train wrecks.

Armed with the searing insight that she's a "[bleeping] mess," Trump tells the New York Post's Page Six that he's negotiating with Britney about appearing on his new Celebrity Apprentice and that he's also "thinking about" having Paris Hilton on the show.

However, says Lord Combover, "I don't know if we're going to do it."

Yeah, there's no guarantee you're going to see this at any point. There's only so much Paris Hilton pussy you can plaster across prime time television, after all.

As for Brit and Paris' comrade-in-wreckitude, Lindsay Lohan, the Donald says he's going to contact her this week about the show. He did not say whether or not she will try to have sex with him, but the odds are never too low with LiLo.

Paris Hilton's rep says he wasn't aware if any deal was in the works, and Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan mouthpieces weren't available for comment.

Man. Mark Vincent Kaplan is dishing out subpoenas faster than Britney Spears slings the poon when Criss Angel rolls up trying to tap that!

Kevin Federline's lawyer has struck again, delivering a summons to the rehab facility attended by Brit.

Kaplan confirms that Promises Treatment Center was indeed served Saturday morning, saying, "An executive administrator from Promises was served with a subpoena."

This is the fourth subpoena doled out by Team FedEx in the custody battle.

Earlier in the week, Spears's former assistant Shannon Funk, bodyguard Daimon Shippen and "cousin" Alli Sims were all hit with legal papers.

"Kevin Federline and his attorneys, Mark Vincent Kaplan, and James Simon are on a mission," says a source close to the proceedings. "They are pursuing all relevant evidence."

A spokesperson from Promises refused to comment, saying: "This is a confidential facility and we cannot comment."

The pop star spent a month at Promises and was released on March 21. Her manager at the time said she was "successfully" released.

Meanwhile, as sons Sean Preston and Jayden James spent the weekend with Spears (God help them), Kevin partied like a mofo until the wee hours of the morning.

Having kept a low profile for the most part lately, Kevin Federline hit the Venetian's Tao Nightclub in Las Vegas Friday night - with a party of 25.

"He was drinking straight from vodka and Jagermeister bottles," an onlooker said. "I didn't see him with a drink in his hand that much, but he drank out of the bottles a few times."

Nice. Federline and his crew arrived at the club around 11:30 p.m. and had dinner at Tao's Loft before retreating to the club at 1 a.m., says a source.

There, Federline, dressed in jeans and a yellow polo shirt, started the party with bottles of Jack Daniels, Grey Goose and Jagermeister.

Stationed at his table, K-Fed chatted with a few of the girls surrounding him, and later migrated to the table full of women adjacent to his.

"He was grinding up on a few of the girls," the source said. "He had a flashlight and was shining it on some of the girls around him."

Thoughout the night, Federline flashed his gold necklace to the deejay, DJ Reach, and even held up a cigarette lighter when the deejay played Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'."

Smiling, grinding, hittin' the bottle and smoking like a chimney throughout the night, the always classy Kevin Federline finally left the club around 4 a.m.

Forget Grey's Anatomy.

Who cares about Heroes?

And does anyone even watch The Hills on MTV?

Barely, at least when compared with the monstrous ratings put up by Disney's High School Musical 2 on Friday. The movie attracted 17.24 million viewers.

This makes the premiere of this Zac Efron and company's film the single most-watched basic cable telecast in history.

Overall, these figures also mean High School Musical 2 was the most-watched program on TV since the season finale of FOX's hit drama House on May 29 drew 17.26 million viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research. Kids seem to love singing in the hallways!

And get excited, young ones: High School Musical 3 is in the works, as is a movie feature that will play in theaters. You'll never stop seeing Ashley Tisdale at this rate.

Meanwhile, as far as the franchise's stars are concerned, Efron and Vanessa Hudgens were united on the blue carpet at the premiere, cuddling innocentmy enough for the throngs of under-12 fans.

"He's an amazing guy," Hudgens said of her gorgeous co-star.

Extras were injured on the set of Tom Cruise's new film, Valkyrie, over the weekend, as 11 men fell off a truck after a bolt on a side panel came loose as the vehicle turned.

Germany's Bild Daily reported that Tom Cruise himself was not involved in the weekend filming.

Nor was any sort of Scientology hex blamed for the incident.

The extras were taken to a hospital, where all but one of them required only outpatient treatment.

In the meantime, filming has stopped.

In the upcoming film, Tom Cruise, 45, stars as Colonel Claus Graf Schenk von Stauffenberg, the leader of the unsuccessful attempt to assassinate Adolf Hitler in July 1944. The film does not feature Tom Cruise nude, sadly. Or fortunately.

His casting has attracted controversy in Germany because Cruise is one of the best known adherents of Scientology, which the country does not recognize as a church.

Some critics of Tom Cruise maintain that one of his church's members should not play what some consider one of the Nazi era's few heroes.

Those critics can't refute that Suri Cruise is so darn cute, though!

The weekend accident happened during filming of scenes around the Finance Ministry, which was once the Nazis' aviation ministry.

Are congratulations in order for Nicole Richie and Joel Madden?

After a Friday night performance with his band, Good Charlotte, at the Hot 99.5 Lil' Black Dress Party - hosted by Perez Hilton - in Arlington, Va., Madden was walking offstage when Hot 99.5 morning show deejay Kane said to the crowd:

"He got engaged yesterday. Congratulations, Joel!"

To that, Joel Madden quickly glanced back over his shoulder, but was otherwise unresponsive as he made an exit from the stage behind his brother, Benji.

"We heard this morning," Kane told People following Good Charlotte's 40-minute set. Crediting he got the word from "good sources," Kane said he hadn't seen Richie since hearing the news, but added he had offered congratulations to Madden earlier in the night.

"He said, 'Thank you so much,'" recalled Kane. "They're very excited about the baby and the wedding. They want to keep their personal life personal."

Right. Nicole Richie has always sought privacy, not attention.

On Thursday, during a visit to Live! With Regis and Kelly, Madden was asked by cohost Philbin about "a little ring, or something."

"I was hoping it would be a surprise, but now..." Madden responded.

While there were no sightings of Richie at the party, she and Madden, expecting their first child together, were spotted in Washington, D.C., earlier that day.

The pair, with entourage in tow, popped into Nathans of Georgetown restaurant for a late lunch before making their way to the upscale baby boutique Dawn Price Baby.

Lily Allen certainly isn't the first to deliver an expletive-laden tirade against the embattled U.S. President George W. Bush in recent months.

But, unlike most, hers was also directed at the U.S. Immigration Service and delivered from the stage of the V Festival in Stafford, England.

The outburst came in the wake of the British singer's American working visa being unexpectedly revoked earlier this month, following concerns about her March arrest in London after she allegedly punched a photographer.

Introducing her song "Everything Is Wonderful" on Saturday, Lily Allen, 22, described President Bush in profane anatomical terms.

"I've been banned from America. That's nice. Oh well, that means I can't go back there. Good," she added, reports MTV News in the U.K.

Friday it was announced that Allen had to postpone September concert dates in America and miss out on the MTV Video Awards due to her Visa problems.

"I am so disappointed that I won't be able to come to the States at this time," Allen said. "I want my fans to know that I'll be back as soon as I possibly can!"

Despite this weekend's outburst, Lily Allen appeared upbeat during her 45-minute set, despite being "a little drunk" during the performance.

Despite their rivalry, she and Amy Winehouse have much in common.

Hopefully the Prez doesn't take her criticism too hard, and can continue celebrating his daughter's engagement to Henry Hager. And enjoying one of his month-long vacations. Running a country is hard work!

In case Katie Price nude photos weren't garnering this model enough attention, she figures talk - VERY detailed talk - about her most private of areas would do the trick:

I'm thinking of having my vagina tightened. After having three kids, I'd really notice the difference. By the time I'm finished I'll be like a nun.

Nice image, Katie, thanks. But we prefer to read about Paris Hilton's pussy. At least it's cute.