The Urban Dictionary defines Paris Hilton as 1. A person only attractive to another for their ability to dress like a skank and their daddy's money. 2. Having no intellectual ability whatsoever. 3. Like Kansas: Flat, white and easy to enter.
Nevertheless, the ho-tel heiress says she's not stupid or skanky like you may (definitely do) think, and the "Paris Hilton" we see in front of the cameras is just a character she's invented to make money. If so, then the joke's on us!
"In a way it's good, but I don't want people thinking of me as this blond heiress airhead," she says in Paris, Not France, the new documentary about her life.
"But that is kind of my brand. I make a lot of money doing that."
But she acknowledges her brand will forever be tarnished by - you know it - the infamous Paris Hilton sex tape, in which Rick Salomon absolutely went to town.
"I always looked up to Princess Diana and all these women, and now I could never be like that," says Paris, who says Paris Jackson is named after her at least.
"I want to have a family. I want to be normal."
She also wanted to be taken from behind on night-vision camera, and receive royalties from the proceeds of the sex tape romp that catapulted her to fame.
Instead, the poor thing laments, she has to worry about people "thinking I'm a slut and thinking I'm something that I'm not." Not that she had a role in it.
Her mother, Kathy, was upset that Paris went there in the documentary.
"I didn't know [the Paris Hilton sex tape] was going to be in it," she told E! last night. "It's very tough... I cannot believe they kept that portion in there. I thought they kept that part out. It's going to be very hard for us to watch."