Forget Grey's Anatomy gossip, this is now a fact:

Isaiah Washington will not be returning to the smash show, his rep and ABC Television Studio have confirmed.

Howard Bragman, Washington's publicist, says Washington's option was not renewed, and released the following statement from the actor: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more."

We're not sure what this reference to the 1976 movie Network really means, but gay people everywhere may need to be on the lookout.

The Grey's Anatomy cast was notified Thursday night of the final decision, which, says a source close to the situation, was a long time coming. In the end, Washington's behavior made him a liability.

For those that have been too consumed by Paris Hilton to remember: Rumors ran rampant following the season finale â€" during which Washington's character, Dr. Preston Burke, broke up with his fiancée, Christina Yang (Sandra Oh), and moved out of their apartment â€" that Washington would not be returning.

The actor first came under fire last fall after getting into an altercation with Patrick Dempsey, during which he allegedly referred to castmate T.R. Knight with a homophobic slur.

Washington later apologized, checked into rehab, met with gay leaders and recently released a PSA decrying the use of hate speech. Katherine Heigl had even seemed to give her blessing for his return.

Incensed by recent rumors about his parenting ability, Coley Laffoon would like to take this opportunity to beat off. Outrageous allegations from Anne Heche.

Heche's soon-to-be-ex husband is out to set the record straight in their ongoing custody battle. First order of business? Establishing that he's no chicken-choking addict.

Second point: Anne Heche is just plain nuts!

One of the weirdest celebrity custody battles got even crazier today, when Coley Laffoon filed a response to Anne's allegations - that he is addicted to poker, strippers and masturbating to Internet porn.

In the documents, Coley Laffoon admits that he has occasionally checked out a few XXX sites, but only "when we were together."

Neither elaborated as to whether Coley prefers more tasteful Playboy-style spreads, such as the new one featuring a nude Amanda Beard, or kinkier stuff.

Anyway. Coley Laffoon says in response to his ex's remarks that it's Anne Heche who is certifiably insane - as publicized in her own autobiography titled... "Call Me Crazy."

Sorry to break this news, Britney Spears. We know you wanted to call your long-awaited autobiographical tell-all by that very same name.

Coley Laffoon claims that in the book, Heche "describes how she went to Fresno by herself after taking one pill of ecstasy, because she received a message from God that a spaceship was going to be meeting her there and taking her away."

Okay, we'd like to apologize to Britney Spears. Not even she can be considered in the same league as Heche. We pity you, James Tupper, even if you're just in it for ratings.

The jabs continue throughout the documents, with highlights including accusations of drunken arguments, manipulation, lies and strip club visits. No elaboration on whether Laffoon ever visited any of the clubs Joslyn Noel Morse performed at.

We can only hope that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag actually make it to the altar... because their divorce battle would be something to behold.

Kristine Lefebvre is so last month.

That beautiful former contestant on The Apprentice made quite the naked splash last month when she appeared on the cover of Playboy, but Hugh Hefner may have outdone himself with the following selection.

In the issue that hits newsstands on June 8, Amanda Beard gets nude.

Sports fans - along with men with a pulse - have been waiting for this moment since Beard won her first Olymic Gold Medal at age 14. Sorry, we know that makes Hayden Panettiere seem like a senior citizen, but Amanda is 25 now. And hotter than ever.

We may not even have use for Holly Madison nude after this pictorial comes out. It gives breaststroke a whole new meaning.

Seeing actual Jayden James photos? Shocking.

Learning that Paris Hilton doesn't have a real medical disorder? Not remotely surprising.

TMZ has learned that the condition that enabled Hilton to be released very early from prison was purely psychological - and it was diagnosed by a psychiatrist that has invented mental problems for the heiress in the past.

Indeed, Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail each of the last two days. We're told after Sophy's visit yesterday, word was passed to the sheriff that Hilton's mental state was more fragile than the brittle bones of friend Nicole Richie.

So it bears repeating: The reason for releasing Paris Hilton from jail had nothing to do with any physical issue. It was purely in her head.

But, wait, there's more absurdity! Last month, on the eve of a trial in which Hilton was accused of slandering socialite Zeta Graph, Dr. Sophy told the judge that Hilton was "emotionally distraught and traumatized" over her jail sentence, which prevented her from participating in a meaningful defense.

That trial was put on hold until August, just enough time to Sophy's checks from the Hiltons to clear, we're sure.

This guy is shadier than Spencer Pratt and Ray J put together.

It's about time! At long last, Jayden James Federline photos have been discovered that aren't grainy or featuring J-squared in a crate or buried beneath blankets.

That's right, the second son of Britney Spears is no longer in hiding! We have been waiting for you to show your face, Jayden James. And we welcome you.

The paparazzi finally exposed the biggest celebrity baby mystery since the debate over whether Suri Cruise existed when a member of the press caught up with Brit in Hawaii...

PHOTO CREDIT: Ramey / TMZ

Britney spent some time in Mexico last week, and is continuing her R&R in Hawaii with her personal biatch (and also cousin) Alli, Jayden James, and his brother Sean Preston.

Good for her. A girl's gotta get away and relax with the fam. All of that lip-synching, tanning, shopping and eating fast food is exhausting, don'cha know.

Awesome. These are the best Jayden James Federline pictures to date. By far. We've got more for you below. Looking at these and the one above, three things are undeniably clear:

1. Britney Spears doesn't exactly look thrilled to see the photographer who got this money shot.
2. That pink bikini looks like it's about to fall off.
3. Sean Preston Federline has a serious wedgie. Help the kid, Alli!

Britney Spears may be a worse mother than Dina Lohan, at least according to readers of The Hollywod Gossip.

But Brit doesn't come close to the terrible parent of Lindsay Lohan when it comes to outright lying.

Dina - the self-proclaimed "White Oprah" - has stated in the past that she's a former Radio City Music Hall Rockette. One problem: she's not.

After an inquiry from The New York Post, a spokeswoman for Radio City called back to say an exhaustive search found no record of Dina Lohan, or Donata Sullivan (her maiden name), ever being a Rockette.

Execs at Cablevision, which owns Radio City, were said to be indignant anyone would claim to be a Rockette who wasn't.

"It's like claiming to have a degree from Harvard when you don't. It's a big deal to be a Rockette," said the source.

So is raising a sex-crazed, alcoholic cocaine user for a daughter. But Dina has gotten away with that so far, too.

Meanwhile, this horrific mother has been caught in other lies, as well. She seems to fib more often than the L.A. Sheriff Department when it releases Paris Hilton from jail. To wit:

Biographies of Dina say she acted on the Broadway stage and in commercials, neither of which are true.

"Look in SAG [the Screen Actors Guild]. Look in AFTRA [American Federation of Televison & Radio Artists]. Dina isn't a member," said a family source. "She never did a Broadway show. She never did ads."

But she did do an atrocious job raising her oldest child, one that makes the fan-tossing actions of Akon seem responsible.

Sorry, Jayden James, you had your time.

And the clock has run out on your days in the celebrity gossip headlines, Dannielynn. Go spend time with your father Larry Birkhead.

The latest baby to snag our attention isn't just adorable - she's frickin loaded! Say hello to Kai Madison Trump, a child so rich she'd be able to get out of jail faster than Paris Hilton.

The daughter of Donald Trump Jr. a vice president at the Trump Organization, and his wife, model-actress Vanessa, was born May 12 and weighed in at 6 lbs. 14 oz.

"The baby is really beautiful," said the elder Donald Trump. "I've never seen such hair on a baby in my entire life. Just an absolutely beautiful baby, and healthy and happy, so I'm thrilled."

Unlike her 14-month-old uncle, Barron (Trump Sr.'s son with wife Melania), Kai won't be wheeled around in a gold-plated stroller. Instead, she naps in a comfortable nursery filled with hand-painted furniture and pastel colors designed by Posh Tots.

Sounds more comfortable to us than Katie Price's vagina.

"I'm not sure it will ever sink in," Trump Sr. said about becoming a grandfather

Rosie O'Donnell, meanwhile, had no comment on her enemy's good fortune.

During a recent tour stop in Zurich, Switzerland, Justin Timberlake busted out a cover of the Amy Winehouse hit, "Rehab," which is a cool track.

But what makes this noteworthy is that instead of the original lyrics - "They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said no, no no" - Justin threw his own variation in and sang "They tried to make her go to rehab, and she said no, no, no!"

Hmm. Wonder who he's talking about. Britney Spears, maybe? Just a guess. One that you don't need to own a celebrity gossip site to come up with.

Here's a clip of Justin Timberlake covering "Rehab" ...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcVflqSIdWY[/youtube]

Not unfunny. As if it weren't obvious enough, later in the show, Justin Timberlake pulled a similar stunt with a cover of Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy."

Unlike Akon, he didn't throw anyone off the stage - but Justin struck a chord with more slightly altered, possibly Britney Spears-bashing lyrics.

Once again, he changed the words from first person to "I think she's crazy... I think she's crazy..." and "I remember when... I remember when she lost her mind."

So do we. It was February. Enraged and bald, Britney went all "crazy" and attacked paparazzi with an umbrella, while stopping at a convenience store on her way to rehab for the third or fourth time. It was awesome.

One can only hope JT protege Esmee Denters doesn't follow Spears' path to destruction and ridicule. Click HERE to see a clip of Justin goin' "Crazy" on Brit!

Hey, Nicole Richie, don't be afraid of jail.

All you need to do is whine as much as your reality show cohort Paris Hilton and you'll be set free. It's as simple as 1-2-woe-is-me.

In a pathetic display of giving in to the rich and spoiled, the L.A. County Sheriff's Department has released Paris from jail after a whole three days behind bars. Spokesperson Steve Whitmore claimed Hilton was released due to medical reasons he cannot disclose.

Funny. We didn't know "money" was deemed a "medical reason." We also didn't know Victoria Beckham could be named Woman of the Year. Guess nothing should come as a surprise at this point.

Hilton has been fitted for an ankle bracelet and placed under house arrest in her West Hollywood home for 40 days. After this time is up, Whitmore says she will have "fulfilled her debt to society." 

The Hollywood Gossip doesn't think this is possible until she drowns in a pool of raw sewage, however. Either that, or she's forced to stand in front of an onslaught of Blake Fielder-Civil snot rockets for the duration of her house arrest.

The justice system should be more ashamed of itself than Alex Rodriguez should be for cheating on his wife.

Jenna Jameson, perhaps you could talk some sense into Katie Price.

The world famous porn star has suffered from complications after a vaginoplasty left her private area in pain. But that hasn't stopped the model known as "Jordan" from wanting to reduce the size of her bearded clam.

"I wouldn't be doing it because I want to be smaller, because [husband Peter Andre] likes me the way I am," Price said. "But, and women who've had kids will know what I'm talking about, sometimes you're not as tight down there as you'd like afterwards."

And we thought Paris Hilton's pussy had problems! Just listen to what else Price had to say on the topic:

"Sometimes if you cough or sneeze a bit of wee comes out! I just have to cross my legs and hope it doesn't trickle down my leg."

We appreciate that image, Katie. It actually makes us wanna look at Brooke Hogan in chaps.

Finally, Price concluded this stomach-turning interview by explaining that she isn't after anything too special. She doesn't need a top of the line private parts enhancement, like the one Heidi Montag paid for.

"It's not really a designer vagina I'm considering, but I'll probably get a couple of extra stitches put in while they're down there!"

Sorry for all that detail, fellas. But hurry up and take a look at Liv Tyler and Kate Bosworth involved in some hot girl-on-girl action. It should make you feel better.