There are easier ways than this to see Demi Moore naked.

According to Maxim Radio's The Manertainment Report, photos of the actress in the buff are being held hostage by a French taxi driver. Couldn't this guy just rent the movie Striptease instead?

Here's the supposed story: Ashton Kutcher left his cell phone in the cab during an April vacation - and it happened to contain over 30 pictures of his beautiful wife nude. Now, the device is being held for a $1 million ransom; the cabbie is threatening to sell the pics to the highest bidder if his demands aren't met.

We're huge fans of Kutcher and Moore. They're a stable couple that's created a loving family, one that actually includes Demi's ex Bruce Willis. And as silly a name as she has, Rumer Willis does seem pretty well-grounded.

But if this story is somehow true, the pair deserves to lose a million bucks. Haven't they learned anything from Vanessa Hudgens naked pics, Katie Rees nude photos... and all the other examples of lewd pictures being leaked?

The Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards divorce case is uglier than Courtney Love.

Emails Sheen sent to his ex-wife - and others - after their marriage was long over were leaked to entertainment news outlets and, well, we can't do them justice.

So here's a simple, point-by-point summary of them:

• The actor wrote: "Go cry to your bald mom, you [bleep]ing loser." Richards' mother is currently receiving chemotherapy for kidney cancer.

• There were approximately 30 pictures of Sheen in an aroused state that the star allegedly emailed to women (and, according to Richards' assertion, underage boys) he met online.

• In regard to Richards' parenting skills, Sheen wrote: "You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and evil and a bad mom, so go [expletive] yourself, you sad jobless pig."

We wish we could at least give the actor credit for originality - or a diverse vocabulary - but Jayden James could probably come up with more creative insults than these.

All we have to say is: Best of luck, Brooke Mueller.

There's nothing in life like a good friend. Lauren Conrad knows she can always to Audrina Patridge or Whitney Port when she needs support on The Hills!

Similarly, after a judge ordered that her ex, Kevin Federline, will retain custody of their two sons, Sean and Jayden, and that she will only be given supervised visitation rights, Britney Spears found some support in her longtime pal.

And cutie. And enabler. And maybe cousin. And past personal assistant. And possible hanger-on trying to get famous and/or rich as Britney Spears' b!tch.

Whatever you want to call her, we're talking about Alli Sims. Here, on a nighttime outing in Beverly Hills Wednesday, Alli Sims is rocking a USC Law t-shirt (studying up on how to embezzle and launder Britney Spears' money maybe?) while gazing longingly at Brit. They're like... kissin' cousins or something.

The Hollywood Gossip's opening odds of Britney Spears and Alli Sims becoming lovers by the end of 2008? 3:1. Odds of Alli using Britney for personal gain? 6:5.

Halle Berry and Christina Aguilera seem proud of their pregnancies. As do the fathers of their babies-to-be, Gabriel Aubry and Jordan Bratman.

So we don't understand why Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are hiding the fact that the couple is about to join the ranks of new parents.

Just look at this picture of J. Lo in concert recently. Come on! That belly is baby bump central!

We'd tell Spencer Pratt not to quit his day job, but since this apparently is his day job, he should probably just get a whole lot better at it.

Everyone knows the conniving, pimply star of The Hills doesn't have game with the ladies. Turns out Spencer's writing and web management skillz are similarly bad.

Spencer Pratt's official site consists of the same photos and snippets of articles you have already seen on Us Weekly and a hundred other celebrity gossip sites like this one. Wow! Really creative stuff, dude. Such insightful content!

Moreover, the links on his site are black... against a black background, making them impossible to see. Spencer also showcases his impressive 9th grade reading level with headlines such as "Us Magazine: New cover onstands now!!" Combine all this with a heinous design and Pratt earns a solid D+ in blogging.

The only thing saving it from an F, in case you were wondering, are some of the comments correctly pointing out the suckitude of Spencer and Heidi.

With Halloween a few weeks away, The Hollywood Gossip is here to help with potential costume ideas. Here's one of our interns in a spooky Amy Winehouse getup!

Just kidding! That's Amy Winehouse herself!

But come on, how scary would this be on October 31!? Especially with that makeup and the nice touches of industrial size hair clips and hickey! Boo!

Extra points go to couples who dress up as Amy and Blake Fielder-Civil and attend a party together. Preferably while shooting up in between the toes.

In reality, the 24-year-old was snapped in London, looking her usual self, after stopping off for another gourmet meal... at McDonald's.

Hayden Panettiere takes a break from being pumped up about the return of Heroes (and being pumped by Milo Ventimiglia, if you know what we mean), filling up her car on the way to the studio yesterday.

Something about Hayden Panettiere holding a hose just turns us on. You?

We imagine this is almost a daily occurrence for the petite, 18-year-old star and her gas-guzzling Porsche Cayenne. Way to look out for the environment!

We'll have you know, Hayden, that our celebrity gossip interns have to ride bikes to work. Partly because they can't afford cars on such meager wages, of course.

But still, we do our part to go green here at The Hollywood Gossip, and are proud of it. It's time celebrities hold up their end of the bargain.

High School Musical 3 may be closer and closer to a reality, but Zac Efron is too busy promoting Hairspray to notice right now.

He's seen here with co-star and possible love interest Nikki Blonsky on a Japanese news magazine. At the end, though, Zac winks twice at the camera.

Think that was intended for Vanessa Hudgens?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhdHn5IrQU4&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fjustjared%2Ebuzznet%2Ecom%2F2007%2F10%2F04%2Fzac%2Defron%2Dsushi%2F[/youtube]

Move over Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia. You Heroes hotties aren't the only the only TV co-stars to blatantly lie and say you're not dating!

"It's not true," says Weeds star Hunter Parrish to Us Weekly regarding a Star Magazine report that he's dating new guest star, Mary-Kate Olsen.

Perhaps the Full House vet is just too frickin' weird talented.

"She's a very good actress," Hunter Parrish says. "And fun to work with... I'm sure we'll laugh about these rumors this week!"

Hunter Parrish and Mary-Kate Olsen: more than co-stars?

All we know is that Parrish is responsible for some great Weeds quotes, and that the show's star, Mary-Louise Parker, is one of our favorites. And that Mary-Kate really needs some sort of style consultant. Or a mirror to start!

Many readers were disappointed to learn that they wouldn't see Kim Kardashian naked in her upcoming Playboy photo spread.

But don't worry fans, looks like you may have a chance to see the former sex tape star in all her bare glory again after all.

Reportedly, a criminal investigation is underway regarding a slew of nude pictures starring both Kim and Kourtney Kardashian. The alleged crime in question? The pics were taken of the sisters underage.

All the guys dreaming of Hayden Panettiere nude are thankful this Heroes star is now 18 years old, that's for sure.

Kim Kardashian doesn't seem too worried about a nude picture scandal. Who hasn't already seen her naked anyway?

The stars of the upcoming reality show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, supposedly posed for a few racy photos eleven years ago - and now a David Hans Schmidt wanna-be is trying to sell the pics to celebrity gossip outlets.

"Any publication that would print these pictures, which are considered child pornography, will be subject to the same criminal investigation as the agency who is attempting to sell them," said a family representative.

We'll keep you updated as this sordid story develops, but for now, we do know this: somewhere, Vanessa Hudgens is smiling.