Forget Grey's Anatomy.

Who cares about Heroes?

And does anyone even watch The Hills on MTV?

Barely, at least when compared with the monstrous ratings put up by Disney's High School Musical 2 on Friday. The movie attracted 17.24 million viewers.

This makes the premiere of this Zac Efron and company's film the single most-watched basic cable telecast in history.

Overall, these figures also mean High School Musical 2 was the most-watched program on TV since the season finale of FOX's hit drama House on May 29 drew 17.26 million viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research. Kids seem to love singing in the hallways!

And get excited, young ones: High School Musical 3 is in the works, as is a movie feature that will play in theaters. You'll never stop seeing Ashley Tisdale at this rate.

Meanwhile, as far as the franchise's stars are concerned, Efron and Vanessa Hudgens were united on the blue carpet at the premiere, cuddling innocentmy enough for the throngs of under-12 fans.

"He's an amazing guy," Hudgens said of her gorgeous co-star.

Extras were injured on the set of Tom Cruise's new film, Valkyrie, over the weekend, as 11 men fell off a truck after a bolt on a side panel came loose as the vehicle turned.

Germany's Bild Daily reported that Tom Cruise himself was not involved in the weekend filming.

Nor was any sort of Scientology hex blamed for the incident.

The extras were taken to a hospital, where all but one of them required only outpatient treatment.

In the meantime, filming has stopped.

In the upcoming film, Tom Cruise, 45, stars as Colonel Claus Graf Schenk von Stauffenberg, the leader of the unsuccessful attempt to assassinate Adolf Hitler in July 1944. The film does not feature Tom Cruise nude, sadly. Or fortunately.

His casting has attracted controversy in Germany because Cruise is one of the best known adherents of Scientology, which the country does not recognize as a church.

Some critics of Tom Cruise maintain that one of his church's members should not play what some consider one of the Nazi era's few heroes.

Those critics can't refute that Suri Cruise is so darn cute, though!

The weekend accident happened during filming of scenes around the Finance Ministry, which was once the Nazis' aviation ministry.

Are congratulations in order for Nicole Richie and Joel Madden?

After a Friday night performance with his band, Good Charlotte, at the Hot 99.5 Lil' Black Dress Party - hosted by Perez Hilton - in Arlington, Va., Madden was walking offstage when Hot 99.5 morning show deejay Kane said to the crowd:

"He got engaged yesterday. Congratulations, Joel!"

To that, Joel Madden quickly glanced back over his shoulder, but was otherwise unresponsive as he made an exit from the stage behind his brother, Benji.

"We heard this morning," Kane told People following Good Charlotte's 40-minute set. Crediting he got the word from "good sources," Kane said he hadn't seen Richie since hearing the news, but added he had offered congratulations to Madden earlier in the night.

"He said, 'Thank you so much,'" recalled Kane. "They're very excited about the baby and the wedding. They want to keep their personal life personal."

Right. Nicole Richie has always sought privacy, not attention.

On Thursday, during a visit to Live! With Regis and Kelly, Madden was asked by cohost Philbin about "a little ring, or something."

"I was hoping it would be a surprise, but now..." Madden responded.

While there were no sightings of Richie at the party, she and Madden, expecting their first child together, were spotted in Washington, D.C., earlier that day.

The pair, with entourage in tow, popped into Nathans of Georgetown restaurant for a late lunch before making their way to the upscale baby boutique Dawn Price Baby.

Lily Allen certainly isn't the first to deliver an expletive-laden tirade against the embattled U.S. President George W. Bush in recent months.

But, unlike most, hers was also directed at the U.S. Immigration Service and delivered from the stage of the V Festival in Stafford, England.

The outburst came in the wake of the British singer's American working visa being unexpectedly revoked earlier this month, following concerns about her March arrest in London after she allegedly punched a photographer.

Introducing her song "Everything Is Wonderful" on Saturday, Lily Allen, 22, described President Bush in profane anatomical terms.

"I've been banned from America. That's nice. Oh well, that means I can't go back there. Good," she added, reports MTV News in the U.K.

Friday it was announced that Allen had to postpone September concert dates in America and miss out on the MTV Video Awards due to her Visa problems.

"I am so disappointed that I won't be able to come to the States at this time," Allen said. "I want my fans to know that I'll be back as soon as I possibly can!"

Despite this weekend's outburst, Lily Allen appeared upbeat during her 45-minute set, despite being "a little drunk" during the performance.

Despite their rivalry, she and Amy Winehouse have much in common.

Hopefully the Prez doesn't take her criticism too hard, and can continue celebrating his daughter's engagement to Henry Hager. And enjoying one of his month-long vacations. Running a country is hard work!

In case Katie Price nude photos weren't garnering this model enough attention, she figures talk - VERY detailed talk - about her most private of areas would do the trick:

I'm thinking of having my vagina tightened. After having three kids, I'd really notice the difference. By the time I'm finished I'll be like a nun.

Nice image, Katie, thanks. But we prefer to read about Paris Hilton's pussy. At least it's cute.

First, Jenna Bush and Henry Hager.

Next, Prince William and Kate Middleton?

A week after America's most powerful young couple got engaged, might Britain's royal pairing be next? Reportedly, the prince has taken his long-time girlfriend off to a secluded island in the Indian Ocean for a private, romantic break.

People magazine says the visit to the exclusive Desroches island in the Seychelles bolsters talk that couple is close to getting hitched.

The two split in April, but it was only a matter of weeks before they were back together again, meeting up for secret dates, including a party at army officer William's barracks. Now, there appears to be little doubt they're going strong once more.

Just like Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish. Minus the extramarital affair.

Prince William is on vacation from the army following a troop commanders' course. Middleton arrived from the U.K. late last week. She's very pretty.

Amy Winehouse loves to drink and do drugs.

But her ex-boyfriend claims there's something else the troubled singer loves to do: any guy she can straddle.

Indeed, Johnny Headlock says he had a coke-fuelled bedroom romp with the wayward star and suggests she get help for her libido as much as for her imbibing.

"Amy needs help," the man with the professional wrestling-type name told News of the World. "She's got serious drug problems and, from my experience, is addicted to sex, too."

Winehouse - along with husband Blake Fielder-Civil - has been in and out of rehab all month. Last week, they spent a grand total of 48 hours there.

Hi. I'm Amy. I'm just about as freaky as one can get.

Headlock, meanwhile, claims he enjoyed a three-hour bedroom romp with the singer last year while she was trying to get back with Blake.

"She was wild. I didn't know about her other lovers at the time. She went for hours and couldn't get enough. We must have gone through five or six different positions. She liked being on top," Johnny said.

Wow. And we though the admission by Evan Rachel Wood that she likes blood and music video sex would be the most groundbreaking celebrity news regarding intercourse this week.

Winehouse's former lover added: "She made a lot of noise and loved being spanked. It was really rock 'n'roll."

Paulina James would be so proud.

We don't claim to be celebrity fashion experts, but we'd rate the Vida Guerra outfit below a solid 10 out of 10.

It's the sort of get-up you'd expect Victoria Beckham to wear, but we're glad Guerra is doing so instead. She also has giant boobs, but an actual pretty, non-plastic face. How refreshing.

Similar to Diana Chiafair, Vida is known mostly for modeling in FHM. It's not hard to see why...

Music fans need not look for a Lauren Conrad album in record stores anytime soon. Or anytime at all.

Demonstrating real self-awareness and spewing a little venom Heidi Montag's way, LC told In Touch magazine unequivocally that, believe it or not, she's just a reality TV star, nothing more.

"I promise you: I'll never release an album," Lauren said.

The beauty's reason for being reluctant to sing?

"I don't have either singing or acting talent, so I'm not going to pretend like I do!"

Meeeeeow!!!

"I don't really have very many talents! I'm okay with it, though."

This comes in response to the more or less disastrous debut of Heidi Montag's new single "Body Language" on Ryan Seacrest's radio show this week.

To sum up, Seacrest played the awful track, which features her "fiance," Spencer Pratt, rapping. It was played on air to widespread disbelief and ridicule.

The pair then claimed they did not want the tune played on the air, and that it was not even Heidi's single, just a joke, leaked without their knowledge, or something.

Bull$h!t. Pink is the New Blog reveals that in an earlier addition of In Touch, Spencer actually said he might leak Heidi's single to none other than Seacrest.

There you have it, in the revolting one's own words. Guess if you're Spencer Pratt, it must get challenging to keep all the scheming and lies straight after awhile.

Criss Angel is helping Britney Spears with a possible MTV Video Music Awards performance, and their relationship is purely professional, the illusionist says.

Yeah, right.

"It's amazing what people think," the Mind Freak said. "We're not together. Her manager is my manager. I'm helping with one of her shows for MTV. That's all."

Rumors flew after the Las Vegas-based Criss Angel, 39, was spotted with Spears, 25, in L.A., meeting up with her and her friends at restaurants and hotels.

Acknowledging the Wednesday night dinner he and Spears shared at Cravings restaurant in West Hollywood, Angel said, "Yes, I'm here working on some stuff, and we went to that restaurant with 10 people."

"We were talking about how she wants to do something more with the [awards] show, and about me helping out and hoping to work with her on doing something to make her MTV appearance more innovative."

Britney Spears has been in talks to perform at the September 9 show at the Palms Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

"It's amazing how you can't do anything now without people making up stuff," Angel said.

Sure thing. For the record, Spears and Angel went into the W Hotel in Westwood around 3:00 a.m. Friday morning and didn't emerge until late morning.

According to TMZ, that's the second night in a row the unusual duo was at a hotel together. Late Wednesday, they sauntered into the Towers Hotel in Beverly Hills.

In other news, while every guy under the sun is apparently willing to ride Britney Spears' train (heh) her divorce lawyer, Laura Wasser, wants to get the hell off.

Sources connected to her case say that Wasser will resign as Spears' attorney. The high-powered lawyer, who has represented stars such as Angelina Jolie and Nick Lachey, sealed the deal on the divorce late last month.

Now that the divorce is done, Wasser is done.

We're told Wasser has put Spears in touch with other lawyers who could help the singer in her ongoing custody battle with Kevin Federline, but Spears has become so reliant on Wasser that she doesn't like any of the alternatives.

There's probably a good reason for that - with Spears falling apart at the seams, it's pretty amazing Wasser was able to get her stupid ass a 50/50 custody split.