Kevin Federline has put down the smokes and booze long enough to land a guest-starring role on the CW's One Tree Hill, numerous sources report.

In the multi-episode arc, the would-be rapper will play Jason, "the cocky, enigmatic frontman" for No Means Yes, a rock band in the show's fictional setting of Tree Hill, N.C., according to the network.

"Kevin came in and (auditioned) and he did a great job," Mark Schwahn, the creator of One Tree Hill, said.

"He really seemed like a sweet guy and I just felt that he would be great in that."

Schwahn acknowledges "people will say this smells of stunt casting" because of Kevin Federline's "really high public persona right now."

"I have to honestly say he was a good fit for the character," Schwahn said. "I don't know a thing about the kid but he seemed sweet and very sincere about working hard and embracing the opportunity. It's just about being good in the role."

Last year, FedEx guest-starred on an episode of CSI as a young street thug named Cole Tritt. He was also reported to be guesting on Entourage.

For the role on CSI, Federline donned a pig mask - and was a part of the episode that scored CSI an Emmy nomination for outstanding makeup. A legend in the making!

Of course, in 2005, Federline and wife Britney Spears appeared on the UPN reality show, Britney & Kevin: Chaotic, which documented their early relationship.

And Federline is perhaps best known for having made fun of himself, playing a fry cook who dreams of stardom in a Super Bowl ad for Nationwide Insurance.

Meanwhile, Federline's former flame, Shar Jackson, with whom he has two kids, is also doing a guest appearance on a CW show, Everybody Hates Chris, this fall.

Yes. Alli Sims, Britney Spears' one time personal bitch and possible cousin, is hanging out with Paris Hilton, Britney Spears' former BFF and partner in (crotch shot) crime.

This isn't gonna hurt Alli Sims' "career" or anything.

After recently served with legal papers in pal Britney Spears' ongoing custody spat, Alli took some time to chill with another famous, positive influence. The aspiring singer somehow got invited to a party at Paris Hilton's Malibu house Saturday.

Is this a subtle way of Paris trying to stick it to Britney (no, not the way Criss Angel does), since Spears didn't exactly end their brief friendship on good terms?

Or is the ho-tel heiress just desperate for a new BFF now that Kim Kardashian is out making sex tapes and not interested in hanging out?

Who knows. But keep your eye on Alli Sims.

She's a cutie, for one - and plus, if there's anyone with train wreck potential, it's a girl trying to be famous, desperate for attention and clinging to Britney and Paris!

Rumer Willis may have a weird name, but she has her head in the right place.

Speaking to Access Hollywood, the actress said: "I see a lot of situations that seem to me to be lacking of a self-respect and a self-value where girls get drunk and they just kind of fall over each other."

Gosh, who could she be talking about, Lindsay Lohan?

"Unfortunately," Rumer continued, "when you know you're growing up and you are in this business, you don't really have the same ability to make mistakes and have it not be really detrimental."

Willis, whose parents are Bruce Willis and Demi Moore (and whose step dad is Ashton Kutcher), added that she's learned from her own missteps.

"Honestly, it's been kind of making mistakes and figuring them out and having a lot of really great people as my mentors," said Willis.

The youngster is coming into her own with roles in the upcoming movies, House Bunny (with Katharine McPhee) and From Within.

The actress says she wants to be known for taking her job as seriously as Amy Winehouse takes sex.

To help with that, she's learned not to read celebrity gossip blogs. Why? Because she "used to a lot and it was really hurtful."

Sorry about that, Rumer.

We know, we know: who doesn't wanna see Vida Guerra nude?

Of course, it's one thing for celebrity gossip fans to clamor for naked pictures of this FHM model, but TMZ is reporting that a cop offered to nix a parking ticket made out to Guerra and friends in exchange for lewd, Antonella Barba-like pics.

Speaking about the incident, West Hollywood Parking Enforcement officer L. Salgado told Vida's friends: "You got a naked picture of her, we make the price stay right."

He added: "Take some pictures back to the station … naked pictures, man. The price will cut. May be worth it."

Vida Guerra naked pics will get this vixen off… from illegal parking charges.

Supposedly, the city is investigating the shady scenario.

But, hey, it could be worse: Salgado could have asked for nude photos of both Guerra and another FHM model, Diora Baird.

Some pieces of celebrity news would legitimately shock us. If there were Julia Stiles nude pics somewhere, for instance, we'd be stunned.

Other news items are so frequent that they regularly elicit yawns. Such as when singer Pete Doherty was arrested early Monday on suspicion of drug possession.

Police say Doherty was arrested with two others, a man and a woman, after being stopped in a car in Tower Hamlets in east London.

The troubled "singer," who has had an on-off relationship with supermodel Kate Moss (with whom he supposedly made the rumored Kate Moss sex tape) had been performing with his band, Babyshambles, at the V Festival in England on Sunday.

Pete Doherty was taken to an east London police station and remains in custody.

A Scotland Yard spokesman said: "At 2:30 a.m. officers in Tower Hamlets arrested a 28-year-old man on suspicion of possessing drugs."

Pete Doherty was warned by a magistrate earlier this month he faced a prison sentence if he failed to demonstrate trying to kick his drug habit.

The singer pleaded guilty in July to possessing crack cocaine, heroin, cannabis and ketamine. What the hell IS ketamine? Does it matter?

No. But someone's gotta get this guy together with Lindsay Lohan.

Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis has developed - wait for it - a flesh eating disease! Anybody got a veterinarian's number on you?

Gummi Bear has a staph infection, a TMZ staffer reports. How did he do it? Why, scraping his legs in a nasty fall a couple of months ago.

No word on whether Jason Davis was sprinting after a runaway plate of pasta at the time he happened to suffer the nasty spill.

The open wounds became infected, causing "weeping" sores that spread all over his body, back and legs. One could say (wait for it) that it's rather unbearable!

"I am literally being eating alive," said Brandon Davis' brother.

Alright, enough of this nonsense. From now on if we want to talk about some serious flesh we wouldn't mind eating, we'll stick to Mary-Louise Parker naked.

But in other Gummi Bear news (sorry), the ursine wonder stole the show at the beach last weekend ... by stealing the camera of a celebrity news reporter!

Jason Davis, wrapped in a blue sarong, traded a pack of smokes for a camera and put on a show, chasing after How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days producer Christine Forsyth-Peters.

In a recent AP article, Mary-Louise Parker was asked about her recent nude publicity photographs for Weeds.

She replied that it was no big deal because "I've been naked quite a bit, actually. You Google me, you'll see it all.

So we did. Alas, our celebrity gossip staff could not any pics of this actress completely naked. (We had no trouble uncovering Holly Madison nude photos, however.).

What gives? Well, Parker may not have meant her quote to be taken so literally. The truth is that this beautiful star has bared her breasts and most of her body in a few movies. They are:

• Grand Canyon
• The Five Senses
• Angels in America

So queue up your Netflix account, readers, and give yourself the gift of Mary-Louise Parker naked and in action.

Meanwhile, if you wish to check out Vida Guerra pretty much nude, just look at any picture of this model.

As if news that we won't be seeing Jessica Simpson nude on screen any time soon wasn't bad enough, now comes this:

Julia Stiles also plans on keeping her clothes on.

"It's not that I'm prudish. It's just that I don't really want to go to work and take off my clothes," the actress said, as Jenna Jameson and Patrice Hollis thought the exact opposite sentiment.

"You'd be surprised how much nudity is called for as an actress," Stiles continued. "I don't have a problem with it or a problem when other actresses do it, but I'm a modest person and generally steer away from nude scenes and love scenes because, more often than not, I find they're gratuitous."

Can you imagine if Noelia took that career stance? We'd never hear a thing about this singer.

We hope you like Julia Stiles with clothes on. That's all you'll be seeing in movies.

Stiles isn't alone in expressing hesitance to bare it all on screen. Despite photo spreads that show Jessica Alba nude, or close to it, that actress also won't don her birthday suit in a movie. Neither will Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman.

Julia added that she's also worried about what will happen to the scenes after they've been released: "People in the film lab can do something with the footage and, no matter what the context is in the actual film, it can end up as pornography on the Internet."

The Hollywood Gossip staff has no idea what Stiles is talking about. We only publicize sexual trysts that were made specifically for public viewing.

Just ask Dustin Diamond, Keeley Hazell, Kim Kardashian, Olivia Mojica...

Britney Spears' prayers have been answered.

Well, not really. Giant bags of pork rinds don't just fall out of the sky, you know.

But Donald Trump himself has offered to hire her and resurrect her career. Along with other train wrecks.

Armed with the searing insight that she's a "[bleeping] mess," Trump tells the New York Post's Page Six that he's negotiating with Britney about appearing on his new Celebrity Apprentice and that he's also "thinking about" having Paris Hilton on the show.

However, says Lord Combover, "I don't know if we're going to do it."

Yeah, there's no guarantee you're going to see this at any point. There's only so much Paris Hilton pussy you can plaster across prime time television, after all.

As for Brit and Paris' comrade-in-wreckitude, Lindsay Lohan, the Donald says he's going to contact her this week about the show. He did not say whether or not she will try to have sex with him, but the odds are never too low with LiLo.

Paris Hilton's rep says he wasn't aware if any deal was in the works, and Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan mouthpieces weren't available for comment.

Man. Mark Vincent Kaplan is dishing out subpoenas faster than Britney Spears slings the poon when Criss Angel rolls up trying to tap that!

Kevin Federline's lawyer has struck again, delivering a summons to the rehab facility attended by Brit.

Kaplan confirms that Promises Treatment Center was indeed served Saturday morning, saying, "An executive administrator from Promises was served with a subpoena."

This is the fourth subpoena doled out by Team FedEx in the custody battle.

Earlier in the week, Spears's former assistant Shannon Funk, bodyguard Daimon Shippen and "cousin" Alli Sims were all hit with legal papers.

"Kevin Federline and his attorneys, Mark Vincent Kaplan, and James Simon are on a mission," says a source close to the proceedings. "They are pursuing all relevant evidence."

A spokesperson from Promises refused to comment, saying: "This is a confidential facility and we cannot comment."

The pop star spent a month at Promises and was released on March 21. Her manager at the time said she was "successfully" released.

Meanwhile, as sons Sean Preston and Jayden James spent the weekend with Spears (God help them), Kevin partied like a mofo until the wee hours of the morning.

Having kept a low profile for the most part lately, Kevin Federline hit the Venetian's Tao Nightclub in Las Vegas Friday night - with a party of 25.

"He was drinking straight from vodka and Jagermeister bottles," an onlooker said. "I didn't see him with a drink in his hand that much, but he drank out of the bottles a few times."

Nice. Federline and his crew arrived at the club around 11:30 p.m. and had dinner at Tao's Loft before retreating to the club at 1 a.m., says a source.

There, Federline, dressed in jeans and a yellow polo shirt, started the party with bottles of Jack Daniels, Grey Goose and Jagermeister.

Stationed at his table, K-Fed chatted with a few of the girls surrounding him, and later migrated to the table full of women adjacent to his.

"He was grinding up on a few of the girls," the source said. "He had a flashlight and was shining it on some of the girls around him."

Thoughout the night, Federline flashed his gold necklace to the deejay, DJ Reach, and even held up a cigarette lighter when the deejay played Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'."

Smiling, grinding, hittin' the bottle and smoking like a chimney throughout the night, the always classy Kevin Federline finally left the club around 4 a.m.