"I literally feel, like, one of my friends... died."
After all this time, and hype, the much-anticipated season three premiere of MTV's The Hills didn't disappoint. For the most part.
Monday's debut sure didn't waste any time bringing viewers inside the epic war between Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag, while properly (and blatantly) introducing each side's supporters.
Whitney Port - now a full-time employee and Lauren's supervisor at Teen Vogue - and Audrina Partridge are so on Team LC, while Montag's devilish boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, is Team Heidi's president, vice president, and PR coordinator.
Giving the people what they want, MTV began the year with a cat fight we knew happened, but have been wanting to see on film for moths, as a tipsy Lauren - enraged over rumors of her sex tape making the rounds - and Heidi hurled insults at each other outside Les Deux.
Lauren is convinced, right or wrong, that Heidi and Spencer started and spread the rumor of her making a sex video with ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler.
The gist of Lauren's position on the matter, as told to Heidi Montag: "You know what you did! You know what you did! You're a sad, pathetic person!"
That about covers it.
"I could just never imagine hating someone so much that you'd do something like that to them," Lauren Conrad said later, reflecting on the incident.
Oh well. She has other things to worry about, like meeting the boy du jour at the club, and whether or not to criticize Audrina's boy, a mumbling, biker, hippie-type who she dated off and on a few years back and doesn't say much.
We heart Lauren, but at the same time, we wonder if she's not - at least at times - taking out some of her own frustrations and insecurities on her friends.Â