by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It was totally on last night between Danielle Staub and Teresa Giudice.

Complete country club chaos broke out on the Bravo hit, highlighted by these self-centered stars going at it. Let's see what our Real Housewives correspondent had to say about the exciting episode...

Seriously?  How much more screwed up can this show and these women get?  To top tonight’s country club mayhem the Housewives will have to get rocket launchers and reduce each other’s homes into rubble.  I don’t think any of us would be surprised if that happened.

The episode begins where we left off last week:   Teresa and Danielle engaging in momentary fake-nice small talk before everything turns into a major kerfuffle.  There is immediately a lot of shrieking and screaming, women forcing each other down into chairs, women rushing down darkened hallways, bodyguards pushing woman off to the side, dishes smashing, weaves swinging, heels breaking.

Thank goodness there are subtitles because nothing is comprehensible except for the random shouting of “bitch!”  The rest of it sounds like, “Aaaaaahhhhheeeerrrrraaaaanooooo!”  The jerkiness of the camerawork as it chases the Housewives is reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project and is, in many ways, equally as scary.

The Housewives Girl

At one point early in the brawl, Teresa says to Danielle, “So what, bitch?  I live in a $5 million home now.”  “And it’s in foreclosure!” screams Danielle.  This statement pisses Teresa off more than anything else.  “Danielle said my house is going into foreclosure.  It’s none of her business what’s going on in my life.  I was trying to be nice and Danielle started it,” she tells us. 

Pause for a moment:  I do hate Danielle and was secretly glad to see her getting hunted down like a gazelle on the Serengeti but Teresa really did start everything, at least on that night at the country club. Had she not insisted on approaching Danielle and “saying hi” nothing would have happened.  Or maybe the producers asked Teresa to approach Danielle?  I know huge fights like this can’t hurt the number of viewers the show attracts.  Thoughts?

As things escalate and women are running amok on broken heels, Danielle enlists the help of Kim G, of her bodyguard (no, not Discount Danny but don’t fret—he shows up later in the episode), and Kim G’s driver.  “Get me out of here!  I’m gonna pass out!  GET ME OUTTA HERE!” screams Danielle as she hides in a corner outside. 

Evidently she can’t move because her heels are broken.  “I can’t walk!” She is a sobbing and crying mess.  It’s not pretty but, man, is it ever funny.

Don't You Ever!

Then occurs the moment that will be re-lived by Danielle non-stop for years to come:  Jacqueline’s wayward daughter Ashley comes up and yanks on Danielle’s weave.  Supposedly she did this because she thought Danielle had punched her mom but, secretly, I think she did it just because she wanted to.  If I saw Danielle in real life I’d probably want to do the same thing. 

The next thing we know, the bodyguard is carrying Danielle to Kim G’s Bentley.  In the car Kim G is screaming in Danielle’s ear. “Listen to me!  Stop!  Calm down, please!!”  Sorry, Kim G, Danielle probably won’t calm down for a few more years.

Though we are all worn out just watching this crap, Teresa is still rearing to go.  “I wanna talk to the bitch,” Teresa explains to Jacqueline as she approaches the Bentley where Danielle is hiding and having hysterics.  Jacqueline is perplexed.  “Why?!  What is the point?!  Let her live her miserable life. She’s miserable.  Let her live it.  Who gives a shit?  Who cares?”  Silly Jacqui!  You’re talking to Teresa like she understands you and has a grasp on reality! 

Ha, ha.  So funny.

Meanwhile Danielle is still screaming and crying in the Bentley.  “I really feel very violated by Ashley. And I’m gonna feel violated by Jacqueline,” she says.  Then Danielle demands that the cops be called and charges be pressed while Teresa dances around the parking lot and Jacqueline stands there petting her baby seal coat, just waiting for some more crazy shit to go down. 

“Look at all this hair she pulled out of my head!  That’s not even my extension!  That’s my hair!”  I love it that Danielle isn’t even embarrassed to admit she has a weave.  Not in this time of great personal misery and stress!

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

The 90-day jail sentence she just received should be a wake-up call for Lindsay Lohan, a reality check for a star who's lost her way and gone off the rails.

But it won't be, according to Stuart Goldberg.

The attorney who sat down with the mess this past weekend says she still isn't fully aware of her dire situation, and is essentially a "fragile, lost child."

"I found her not fully forewarned of the consequences of her actions," Goldberg told People. "She's not disciplined, tethered enough to the reality of adult consequences. She doesn't seem to have awareness of what's going to befall her."

Comes from upbringing. Just saying, Dina.

In Good Spirits (Mostly)

Goldberg, who was courted by the family after Lindsay's previous attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, threw in the towel, recently met with Lohan, her mom Dina and younger sister Ali at the actress's West Hollywood apartment.

There, he outlined his requirements for representing her – "100 percent loyalty and zero tolerance for dishonesty." Stunningly, he opted not to take the case.

At one point, Goldberg, worried Lohan "was in a dangerous state," asked if she might hurt herself. "She started sobbing quietly. She was genuinely in pain."

While he advised Lindsay, whose terrible attitude is well-known, to move out of L.A., a "toxic environment for her," the actress didn't seem open to the idea.

"She was like Teflon to that comment," the attorney says. "It just slid right off her. She seemed to have some inner deep sadness that that was her fate."

"My real worry for her is not just the jail time," he adds, "but my fear is that she's overly susceptible to a probation system that's set up for her to fail."

Lindsay Lohan belongs in ...

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Continuing to recycle the same handful of dudes on a rather prolific basis, Audrina Patridge is reportedly dating Corey Bohan again, according to reports.

Hey, whatever works for a soon-to-be-unemployed reality TV star.

Bohan and Patridge

She recently broke up with Ryan Cabrera, and was pretending to have all these feelings for Justin-Bobby for the fourth consecutive season on The Hills.

But it's Aussie BMX biker Corey who has won her heart. This minute.

The two appeared together at Saturday series wrap party for The Hills, which goes off the air tonight, and according to insiders, were more than friendly!

Audrina and Corey during one of their earlier stints.

A close source confirms: "They are totally back together. They were so cute at the party. He had his arm around her and they both looked really happy."

Nice to see they've patched things up.

Audrina split with Bohan last fall, but that's all water under the bridge now: "They were sitting alone, whispering in each others' ears and laughing a lot."

Certainly a step up from Justin-Bobby, but then again who isn't? Hopefully they have fun before Audrina says she has to "focus on me" or some lame BS.

Pencil that in for September-October.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Trolling for dirt on Luc Carl? Don't expect much from his work.

The New York City bartender and ex-boyfriend of Lady Gaga, who is reportedly back together with the singer now, works at St. Jerome's in the East Village.

Recently Lady Gaga has been hanging around the bar again, fueling speculation that she and Luc Carl are back together. If so, they are keeping it very quiet.

His co-workers protect his cover, too. Customers have spotted a sign over by the telephone that instructs employees to tell callers, "I don't know Luc."

Luc Carl's pseudo-celebrity status hasn't stopped Gaga from stopping by. She visited him on Saturday night, one day after she rocked the Today show.

Today Show Angel

Sounds like Luc Carl is Gaga for this lovely Lady again.

Sipping red wine at the bar with her bodyguard, "She was playing it really cool," a witness says. "You would not have even known they were together."

According to Gagapedia, Luc Carl is a club promoter, musician, DJ, author, bartender, personal trainer, and semi-pro bowler from Omaha, Nebraska.

It's unclear when they got back together, but he currently lives in New York City, and works at two bars, St. Jerome's, and Welcome To The Johnsons.

He dated Lady Gaga for three years, and is the source of inspiration for many songs she wrote during that time - including her newest, "You and I."

Here's hoping it works out!

by Free Britney at . Comments

With her marriage to Jesse James officially finished, Sandra Bullock continues moving forward with her new guy ... adorable six-month-old son Louis.

In the photo below, the new mother and her adopted son, who hails from the city of New Orleans, prepare for takeoff in Austin, Texas, on Saturday.

Bob and Brooke

James and Bullock actually adopted Louis together before his cheating ways were exposed. After they split, both agreed she would raise him alone.

Jesse has bought a house in Texas too, however, with the hopes of keeping Sandra in his life for his older kids' sake. Maybe he'll see Louis as well?

Anyway, everybody together now: Awww ....

Sandra Bullock is going to be the best mom.

by Free Britney at . Comments

If you've ever wanted to look as ripped as Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from Jersey Shore, well here's your chance. You don't even have to take HGH either.

The reality star is releasing a workout DVD so his fans can get their own abdominal situation on. He shot the video in New Jersey the other day with GT Media.

Italia

Sources tell the N.Y. Post the "intense total-body workout" includes a "bonus abs" section. The man manages a gym on Staten Island ... he knows his stuff.

Dude is so ripped, his pants can't even stay buttoned.

No word yet if Sorrentino, who is also releasing a clothing line soon, also has tips on applying hair gel, hitting on women or getting that special orange tan.

We guarantee The Situation quotes are priceless, though.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

He came in third on season nine of American Idol.

But Casey James might wanna finish first in the heart of a reality show contestant, he admits, recently expressing an interest in The Bachelor.

After everyone's favorite host/pimp, Chris Harrison, ran into James at a party last month, he told the singer that he'd perfect for the ABC series. Responded James to OK! Weekly:

“I’ll try anything once. I’m always up for a new experience.”

Suave Ladies Man

Plenty of room under these arms, ladies!

James is busy with the American Idol tour right now, but you can imagine his reaction when pitched the idea of 25 women competing for his attention: “Oh, God, that sounds horrible!” he joked, adding: “Sign me up!”

When Casey first auditioned for the Fox competition, Kara DioGuardi openly swooned over him and made James take off his shirt. He's been considered a singing stud ever since.

If James doesn't take on the role, the next Bachelor will likely be one of Ali's castoffs from this season: Chris, Roberto, Kirk or Frank.  Either way, desperate women will sign up for the show and ABC producers will script every event that takes place on it.

Do you think James should be the next Bachelor?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

The chilling Mel Gibson tape, in which he berates ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is apparently not the only celebrity death threat alleged this afternoon.

Jesse James' ex-wife, Janine Lindemulder, threatened to kill him in the past, according to what his lawyer just told the judge in their nasty custody battle.

Fighting for custody of daughter Sunny, James personally has been testifying on the stand this morning, but hasn't mentioned the allegation ... so far.

The motorcycle guru bought a house in Austin, Texas, and wants to take Sunny there so she can be closer to his most recent ex-wife, Sandra Bullock.

Ex-wife #2 is far from pleased about that proposed plan.

Hot Jesse James

At least Jesse James and Sandra Bullock split amicably and quietly. He and his prior ex-wife are at each other's throats in court, and it's getting uglier every day.

Over nearly five years of marriage, Bullock developed a close relationship with Sunny and his two older kids before his cheating led to their divorce.

Lindemulder, who just got out of a halfway house and can't leave the state of California, filed documents trying to stop the planned move by James.

Janine says the Sandra Bullock excuse doesn't hold water because if she really cared about Jesse's children ... she would have stayed in California.

We'll see what a judge has to say about that, but we know James has alleged on many previous occasions that unstable Janine is a threat to Sunny.

A big enough threat to bar her from all contact? Stay tuned.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It's about to get REALLY Hot in Cleveland.

Joe Jonas has signed on to guest star on an August episode of this TV Land sitcom, which stars Betty White, Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves and Wendie Malick. He'll portray the son of Bertinelli's character.

Joe

Jonas is best known for his vocal chops, of course - but he and his brothers have acting experience on JONAS and in the movie Camp Rock.

Hot in Cleveland has already been picked up for a season season, meaning this may become a recurring role for the young heartthrob. Commence screams of delight, ladies, in 3... 2... 1...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Tila Tequila has exploited the death of Casey Johnson for personal gain; stripped down for the camera; and even faked a suicide attempt.

But she may have finally hit rock bottom with the following news:

Nutty Tila

Tila will NOT be taking part in the next edition of Celebrity Rehab.

The reality star had blogged about her inclusion on this VH1 series in May, saying she'd finally agreed to get treatment for her addiction to Ambien. But when Radar Online asked her rep if Tequila would be a cast member on the show, he simply replied: "No."

Seriously, what does it take to get booted from Celebrity Rehab?!? Dr. Drew Pinsky lives to profit off the troubles of Z-list stars.

Reports say the show is still scheduled to begin filming this month. Only Jason Wahler and Jeremy London are on board, though sources say the network is trying to sign up former tennis star Jennifer Capriati.

If it really wants to set a ratings record, there's an obvious candidate in need of MAJOR help: Mel Gibson.

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