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Will Jessica Simpson replace Simon Cowell on American Idol?

It's possible, according to Life & Style!

So is Mel Gibson winning Humanitarian of the Year honors, but hey. Anything's possible! Why not run with it for some quick hits if you're a third-rate magazine?

According to the celebrity gossip rag, Jessica is in negotiations to become the newest judge on American Idol! Sources say that she has already met with the producers and everyone really "likes" her. Now, it's just a matter of fitting her in.

Riiiiight.

Jessica Simpleton

BAG IT: Whatever "source" planted this story must be closely tied to Jessica, whose career loses relevancy by the month. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Had this news surfaced a year ago, with Jessica's name thrown around as a possible replacement Paula Abdul, that would at least make some sense.

They have similar a "temperament," you could say.

Jessica replacing Simon Cowell, though? We don't see it happening, although maybe we're wrong. Compare her to some of the other rumored replacements whose names have surfaced in recent weeks and vote in our survey below ...

 

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Earlier this week, Kourtney Kardashian told People magazine that Scott Disick is a great father and "obviously not a monster."

But the latest In Touch Weekly cover story aims to disagree with this statement and shed light on just how shady little Mason Dash's daddy really is - and this goes far beyond a supposed penchant for sangria.

With Kourtney and Scott having moved to The Hamptons, a source says Kourtney (and reality show viewers, naturally) may soon see what kind of a monster this man truly can be.

Asked about Disick's past in the area, especially the New York pals with which he associated, an insider revealed:

“He was worse than anyone knows. Scott and all his close friends were in this fake ‘gang’ called the Scummers. They would do all these really awful things together.

"When he was hooking up with a girl in bed, his friends would be in the closet, videotaping what was going on. Sometimes, his friends would jump out of the closet. He’d try to let them join in.”

In other words: Scott Disick is a second coming of Ray J? Haven't the Kardashians made it clear they welcome this kind of behavior? They do have their entire empire to thank for it, after all.

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Declaring "I quit" and running away from the set, Rachel Uchitel apparently couldn't handle the intense pressure of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Instead, Tiger Woods' mistress checked into a swanky hotel.

Rachel Uchitel and Husband

"After a very intense day of filming, Rachel couldn't handle being at the Pasadena Recovery Center" and left, according to a Radar Online source.

Rache fled for Beverly Hills' L'Ermitage Hotel after an intense day with Dr. Drew, during which she "had trouble coping with the issues" discussed.

We reported in recent weeks that Uchitel is being treated for "emotional issues" (i.e. banging married celebrities) as well as an addiction to pills.

She was discussing her issues with self-esteem and self-worth, along with her addiction to Ambien when absolutely lost it and bolted the set.

Rachel Uchitel flaked on Celebrity Rehab 4 ... but will she be back?

Producers located Uchitel the next morning. "Producers arrived at the hotel the following morning, and calm prevailed," says an inside source.

"Rachel simply needed some time away from the intense pressure and scrutiny she is dealing with. She agreed to go back to Celebrity Rehab."

"Rachel has never had to face these kind of issues like this before, and talking about it pushed her over the edge, and her instinct was to run."

Well, sure. Of course, Rachel isn't legally allowed to talk about her affair with Tiger Woods, but the world's #1 golfer looms large in her life.

“Her issues go beyond Tiger, but he was the catalyst that pushed her over the edge," a close source said of the 35-year-old "VIP hostess."

No word if she'll talk about David Boreanaz.

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Just when you think there can't possibly be any more Mel Gibson rants, he apparently left a bunch of voicemails for Oksana Grigorieva as well.

The contents are pretty much consistent with his previous tirades, which were all conversations with his ex-girlfriend that she secretly recorded.

These ones? All Mel.

The phone calls were made, along with the previously-released tapes, on February 18, when their relationship ended, spilling over into the next day.

The couple shares an eight-month-old daughter, Lucia, and are currently at war over custody of the little girl - and over whether he abused Oksana.

Mel Gibson is still under investigation for assaulting Oksana Grigorieva and Lucia on January 6. Police are also investigating Oksana for extorting Mel.

We'll get to the audio shortly, but here are some excerpts:

The Mel Gibson

February 18, 10:27 p.m.: "Arghhh. Arghhhhhh. Arghhhhh. Argh. Argh. I called."

February 19, 12:04 a.m.: "If you want to call me back, I think we should discuss the terms of separation, don’t you? Don’t you think? Yes? Yes, let’s do it. I won’t smoke either, just to f*%k with you. I want to really badly."

February 19, 2.29 a.m.: "Whore. Answer the f*%king phone. F*%king bitch."

February 19, 2:31 a.m. (in reference to a ceremony in which Lucia's placenta was buried in the ground with a tree): "You were a sour faced bitch today. Do you think it was tricky to get that f*%king tree in the hole, the placenta and organize that $h!t?"

"Do you know how much f*%king time and money went into that? Did you thank me? Did you even have a f*%king smile on your face? F*%k no ... Everything about you stinks and I am seeing it real, loud and clear. F*%k yeah. F*%k yeah!"

February 19, 3:06 a.m.: "You are f*%king disloyal and f*%king weak. You’re f*%king blind. F*%king thankless. Such a f*%king slut. F*%k you. F*%k you. Don’t ever sleep again. Don’t sleep as long as I don’t sleep. Don’t sleep. F*%king get sick."

"You f*%king ordinary c**t. You are just f*%king ordinary. That goes for the talent too - it’s ordinary. It’s pretty f*%king common. I’d like to see you play a concert sometime. You make mistakes all over with live performances. You can’t do it."

That's cleaned up, too. Follow the jump to listen to Mel Gibson's voicemails, which are extremely vulgar even by his lofty standards ...

Continue Reading...

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With an early release from jail now looming this week, troubled star Lindsay Lohan is now worried about what comes next: her mandatory 90 days in rehab.

Unlike her 90-day jail sentence, which is likely to be cut short due to good behavior, overcrowding and the media circus she causes, rehab is non-negotiable.

And Lindsay's not happy about it.

"She’s a little upset right now," her attorney Shawn Chapman Holley said after visiting the actress Tuesday. "She'd like to spend some time with her family."

If this were anyone but Lindsay Lohan, that might be reasonable. But not only does she need rehab STAT, her family members are enablers and criminals.

We're talking to you, Michael Lohan.

Head in Hands

Is Lindsay trying to weasel out of rehab?

Holley acknowledged "there’s at least some question as to whether or not she’ll have to go directly to rehab," but it doesn't sound like she has a choice.

Prosecutors confirmed Tuesday that Lohan must report to an L.A.-based residential rehab facility 24 hours after her release from jail - likely August 1-2.

The attorney is concerned "there's a push now for her to go directly to rehab from jail," and wants her client to spend some time with her family first.

"I think it would only be fair for her to spend some time with her family and that’s what she would like for me to emphasize to judge," says Holley.

Lindsay Lohan has been jailed (and strip-searched) in Lynwood, Calif., since July 20 for violating probation stemming from her 2007 DUI conviction.

Should she be allowed leeway with rehab? Her time behind bars is already being dramatically reduced. Should she even be let out of jail so soon?

 

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While the supposed baby news of Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom has not actually been addressed by the couple, there's no doubt about this one:

Melissa Rycroft is pregnant!

Tom Brady, John Edward Thomas Moynahan

"It was a shock. We weren't even trying," the former Bachelor winner, who married insurance agent Tye Strickland in December, tells Us Weekly.

"It's the most wonderful surprise in the world. It's such a blessing."

Blessed she may be, but the co-host of ABC's Bachelor Pad says starting a family was the last thing on her mind. Someone forgot to tell Tye that.

Tye and Melissa Rycroft Strickland are starting a family!

"He wanted to have kids right away, and I was laughing at him going, 'No, not ready!'" Melissa Rycroft said. "He's actually cried more than I have."

Rycroft says that her solid relationship with her man has helped her stay calm: "Tye is caring, he's funny. He's going to be a great dad."

Interestingly, she says she's hoping for a boy, while Tye wants a girl. Either way, "We're going to find out as soon as we can," she says.

Melissa, who received the final rose from Jason Mesnick during the 2009 season of The Bachelor, only to have him break up with her for Molly Malaney (who he later married), is "eating everything in sight" and may "gain 90 pounds."

She'd still look great. Congratulations, Melissa and Tye!

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One of the celebrity world's most beautiful couples, Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom, just got married in secret following years of engagement rumors.

Might there be another bombshell piece of news set to drop?

Suri Cruise and Katie Holmes Pic

Not only did they pull off a totally under-the-radar wedding, but an Us Weekly source says there's another big story they've been keeping under wraps:

Miranda Kerr is pregnant!

"She's definitely pregnant. Miranda's thrilled," says a source close to the supermodel and Australia native, who wed the English actor earlier this month.

"She's telling all her friends, mostly other models, about it."

KERR-BLOOM! Will it be two bombshell stories in a row for the notoriously private couple? If Miranda Kerr is really pregnant already, that would certainly qualify.

While a pal says no official announcement will be made, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr will have a hard time keeping this hidden for obvious reasons.

"She poses in lingerie," says the friend. "It will be obvious soon enough."

The beautiful BRIDE, who kicked off a Caribbean getaway with Bloom at Anguilla's Viceroy resort on July 17, certainly hasn't hidden her desire for a child.

"I've been open about wanting to be a mother one day," she told an Australian newspaper. "And I've always thought Orlando would be a great dad!"

Congratulations if that day is on its way!

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Al Gore was questioned last week by Portland police, who just re-opened a 2006 case involving a massage therapist's sexually abuse claims against him.

The former Vice President, who has emphatically denied the allegations, met Thursday with detectives in San Francisco, Portland TV station KATU reports.

A spokesperson for Gore declined to comment on the case, which became public last month when the accuser revealed all the graphic, hilarious details.

Molly Hagerty alleges Gore demanded sexual favors and made "unwanted sexual contact" with her during a massage in his Portland, Ore., hotel room.

Portland police had filed a "special report" in January 2007, recording the massage therapist's claims that Al Gore grabbed and groped her that night.

Molly Hagerty Picture

The woman went public in a June 23 National Enquirer story and held up "soiled" pants purportedly containing Al Gore DNA for the magazine's cover.

Yech.

By July 1, the Portland Police Bureau reopened its sexual assault investigation into Al Gore, who also faces similar claims from two new accusers.

The investigation resumed after detectives looking into the alleged incident last year failed to tell high-ranking officials that they were dropping the case.

Al and his wife Tipper Gore, split in June after 40 years of marriage.

Tipper does not believe Hagerty, however, and has stood by Al, saying she knew about the allegations and that they played no role in their separation.

What do you think? Did Al Gore maul the masseuse?

 

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Stop us if you've heard this before, but a woman who claims to be Michael Jackson's illegitimate love child says she's entitled to money from his estate!

Mocienne Petit Jackson says she was conceived when Michael was a minor and has filed legal documents alleging an evil plot to cover up her existence.

Yes, we're serious. Move over, Prince Michael Malachi Jet Jackson, you've got nothing on the latest supposed MJ spawn in terms of creative storytelling.

Her tale is one involving murder, abduction and Diana Ross' sister. Mocienne Petit Jackson claims that way back in 1975, a 17-year-old Michael Jackson secretly impregnated her mother Barbara ... who happens to be Diana Ross' sister.

Diana and Michael were close - his will left her in control of his three minor children in the even his mother predeceased him. More on his mom below ...

Mocienne Petit Jackson's claims are truly off the wall.

Mocienne claims that when she was nine years old, Katherine Jackson, the late singer's mother and legal guardian of his three actual children, hatched a plan to "abduct" MPJ and send her to Belgium to protect MJ's "reputation."

She claims all seven of her abductors were later murdered.

Petit Jackson, who currently lives in the Netherlands, has decided to come forward now so she can "formally claim my part of my father's inheritance." Hilariously, she also wants custody of MJ's kids so she can give them a "more normal life."

Right, she can definitely offer that.

Mocienne Petit Jackson also claims she was diagnosed with Vitiligo ... so, yeah. The whole skin thing. She filed documents with L.A. County Superior Court claiming she deserves a fat inheritance check if a judge will just green light a DNA test.

We wouldn't hold our breath.

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Bravo's Real Housewives franchise is a huge hit because TV viewers love a glimpse into the lives of the rich and obnoxious. Well, one star is only the latter.

New Jersey housewives will soon have the chance to own part of reality TV history as Teresa Giudice and her husband, Joe, are set to auction off their stuff.

Most Popular Housewife?

Their 16-room, 10,000-square-foot Towaco, N.J., mansion's contents will be sold in a bankruptcy auction to take place there August 22, according to reports.

According to court documents, the couple owe $10.85 million to creditors - and that doesn't even take into account the newly-filed Danielle Staub lawsuit.

Teresa Giudice recently said of her fiscal woes: "When people fall, the way to success is to get up and learn from our mistakes. We are in that process."

We'd feel bad for Teresa and Joe Giudice, but we really don't. Unlike millions of Americans feeling pain from the recession, they lived way beyond their means.

Among the items up for bid will be a grand piano, two LCD TVs, a decorative urn, an antique pool table, a suit of armor, four chandeliers, a jet boat, a snowplow, framed paintings and numerous pieces of furniture, according to the auction company.

All stuff they couldn't actually pay for but purchased anyway, because these are the kinds of values fostered by the Housewives programs, and arguably society in general. Nice work. The reality couple reportedly filed for bankruptcy last year.

"Due to the economy, most of my husband's real estate ventures failed despite his hard work and effort," Teresa said, ignoring their shady financial practices.

"As a result, we looked to the Bankruptcy Court for a fresh start.”

Another fresh start idea: Savings accounts. Just saying.

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