by Free Britney at . Comments

4,672 strikeouts. 354 wins. Seven Cy Young awards. Three counts of making false statements, two counts of perjury and one court of obstructing U.S. Congress.

Roger Clemens, everybody!

The baseball legend was indicted on Thursday on the above charges related to lying to U.S. Congress regarding his obvious use of performance-enhancing drugs.

If convicted on all charges, he could face up to 30 years in prison and a $1.5 million fine. He would more likely serve somewhere between 15-21 months, but still.

This guy makes LeBron James look like the patron saint of pro sports!

UNDER OATH: Even that couldn't make Roger Clemens come clean.

Clemens' indictment stemmed from testimony that Roger and former trainer Brian McNamee gave under oath in February 2008 to a House of Representatives panel, contradicting each other on whether Clemens had used banned substances.

The Rocket said he never used steroids or human growth hormones and repeated this during a subsequent committee hearing. Not so much, the indictment says:

"In truth and in fact, as Clemens well knew when he gave this testimony, Clemens knowingly received injections of anabolic steroids while he was an MLB player."

Clemens was noted for longevity, fierceness, many records and an affair with Mindy McCready during a 24-year career, but was long suspected of using steroids. His adamant, elaborate denials make this fall from grace even more shocking.

Clemens later accused McNamee of fabricating the allegations, said teammate Andy Pettitte "misremembers" the two doing steroids, claimed that HGH shipments to his house were actually for wife Debbie, and other nonsense.

Another former star, Barry Bonds, owner of the single-season and career record for home runs, faces trial in March on charges of perjury related to his testimony about performance-enhancing drugs as well. Maybe they can share a cell?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Are you ready for The Year of the Kat, Vampire Diaries viewers?

When season two of this CW smash premieres on September 9, fans will be treated to twice the Elena Dobrev, as that actress takes on the dual roles of Elena and her evil doppelgänger Katherine.

The latter made a shocking return to Mystic Falls on the first season finale - and, by the looks of the newly-released Vampire Diaries trailer below, will waste no time reuniting herself with ex-lovers Stefan and Damon this fall.

We absolutely can't wait. Check out the latest trailer below and start counting down those days until the premiere now...

** Note: That pretty song in the background? It's sung by the 16-year old trouble-making star of Gossip Girl, Taylor Momsen! Man, she sucks.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jennifer Aniston was just discussing her Barbara Streisand-inspired Harper's Bazaar photo shoot on Live with Regis and Kelly when everything went haywire.

Dropping the r-bomb will do that.

Already the subject of criticism from Bill O'Reilly, who called her destructive to society for remarks about single parenting, Jen has a new group mad at her.

First, Regis remarked "You played dress up!" Jen's reply? "I do it for a living, like a retard." Laughter? Crickets? Peter Burns, CEO of The Arc, a nonprofit advocate for disabled persons, found it "extraordinarily offensive and inappropriate."

Think she crossed the line? Here's the clip:

"Frankly, someone in her position ought to know better," he said. "She is using language that is offensive to a large segment of the population in this country."

Of the five million mentally disadvantaged people in the U.S., and many millions more with friends and family members who suffer from such obstacles, he said:

"Every time folks hear that word, it kind of reminds them of all the discrimination and oppression... Even if it wasn't intended to insult them, that is the effect of it."

Good luck stealing Brad back after this debacle, Jen.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Teresa Giudice is $11 million in debt.

She recently went on a $60,000 shopping spree, just months after filing for bankruptcy.

Real Housewives, Real Secrets

Naturally, however, the Real Housewife of New Jersey doesn't take any responsibility for these financial woes. In fact, she blames the public. We're the ones that made her famous, after all.

"If she wasn't on the show, this all would be much easier," a source complained to PopEater. "Everything would be settled by now, but because she is now famous everyone is using the situation to get press for themselves and humiliate her and her family.

"It's honestly got to the point where she's not sure if she wants to come back for another season."

Hey, don't tease us like that, annoying, anonymous friend!

Added this insider, in one of the more ludicrous, nauseating quotes of the year:

"Teresa is sick of everyone knowing all her private financial business. She didn't sign up to be on 'Housewives' so that everyone could look into her bank account. Millions of couples go through what they are going through, except no one knows about it. It's just not fair."

So profound and true. It's really not fair for Teresa to be paid six figures each week so she can act like a self-absorbed spoiled brat and fight with Danielle Staub on every episode.

Someone get this woman a violin, stat!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Spencer Pratt says he is ready to tell all.

As if he hasn't done so for years already.

The Hills villain and increasingly erratic character reveals that he is penning a tell-all about his relationship with ex Heidi Montag, including new details about her often tormented relationship with her mother, Darlene Egelhoff.

"My last book, How to be Famous, didn't make the New York Times best-seller list because it was in the self-help section," Spencer Pratt tells Us Weekly.

"This one is going to be totally different. I'm not holding anything back."

Thank goodness.

  • The Plastic Princess Herself
  • Spencer Pratt, Director

Spencer Pratt is taking time away from his busy schedule as an aspiring soft porn director to pen a book on life with Heidi. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

In July, Montag filed for divorce after one year of marriage, citing irreconcilable differences. Their divorce is expected to be finalized on Valentine's Day 2011.

For a couple that has made every detail of its existence public in order to gain money and fame (with considerable success), what's left to write a book about?

Moreover, what should he call it? Some ideas we had ...

  • My Life: As Scripted as The Hills
  • Someone Paid Me to Write This: A Memoir
  • Lauren Conrad Totally Has a Sex Tape
  • I Have Zero Friends and Am Very Bored
  • Wild Times With Pacific Coast News on Speed Dial
  • The Hills Are Alive and Really, Really Fake ... I'm Totally Talking About Both the MTV Reality Show and Heidi's Rack at the Same Time

UPDATE: Heidi Montag has responded and is downright furious with Spencer Pratt's new tell-all book idea, and threatening to stop him at all costs.

Of her soon-to-be-ex-husband's machinations, Heidi tells TMZ that "This is exactly why I left him ... Right now I'm looking into my legal options."

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Laurence Fishburne Embarrassment Tour 2010 is still going strong.

Already the father of a newly-minuted porn star, Laurence now has to see his daughter Montana posing practically nude on the cover of As Is magazine.

Yes, that's a real magazine, and yes, that's Montana Fishburne on it.

Naturally, there's been controversy about this. Aside from the fact that it's a nearly-naked picture of Montana Fishburne, who is 19, it looks doctored.

The "spotty discoloration" on her backside is something "fans" have noticed in her past "work," and something the porn star opened up about recently.

“I’ve had spots on my butt forever – it’s a leopard booty,” she joked ... and yet her bottom is all one smooth color. We feel dirty analyzing this, but ...

Montana Fishburne Booty

Montana Fishburne poses for As Is. So wrong.

One thing that hasn't changed much from one naked display to the next is Montana's attitude toward her CSI star dad. The headline quote from Montana reads: “I’m Not Doing $h!t To Him, But F*%king And Having My Career.”

Just f*%king and beating the crap out of her boyfriend's ex is more like it.

"I just didn't want to wait. I turned 18 and I was like 'alright,'" Montana has said about shooting porn. "This is something I've been thinking about for four years, so I didn't want to wait. I was so excited to get started and I am so excited.”

Montana, who was offered a multi-picture deal, has performed in two porn movies, one with Vivid and a second sextape with porn star/rapper Brian Pumper.

That's probably not his real name.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Just when you thought Michaele and Tareq Salahi couldn't sink any lower...

The attention-starved couple - best known for crashing a White House party in November 2008 and now featured on The Real Housewives of D.C. - hosted their own premiere party for their Bravo series last week.

At the time, The New York Post quotes Michaele as explaining the event "is for the troops. My dad was a part of the US Army. We wouldn't be here without the troops."

Allegedly, guests were told proceeds from the Salahis' party would go to the charity Honor & Remember, whose site states it "recognizes all military lives lost in defense of our national freedoms. However, a representative of that organization says it didn't receive a penny.

Michaele Salahi and Tareq Salahi

Tickets for the bash cost between $25 and $500. Honor & Remember sources say their charity was promised 40 percent of the profits... and then told there actually weren't any at the end of the evening.

Replied a rep for the world's most pathetic couple: "This was not a Salahi event. They were not privy to the operational and management aspects of this event, nor were they compensated for their appearance."

Replied the rest of the world: YOU TWO SUCK!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Katie Price is up there with Megan Fox, Courtney Love and newcomer Taylor Momsen on the list of celebrities capable of firing off absurd quotes at any moment.

In an interview with The Guardian, the busty British babe otherwise known as Jordan calls herself an "ugly fat woman" in bed ... and means it as a compliment.

What Katie Price means, of course, is that Katie Price is so effing hot, and girls as hot as she is can be lazy at times when it comes to getting their freak on.

That's because they don't have to work for it. Not her, though.

When asked by The Guardian (UK) if she has to measure up to heightened expectations in bed, she replied: "What, do you mean do they think I'm going to be an animal in bed? I'm worse than an animal. I'm an extremist in bed."

Katie Price Autobiography

Katie Price promotes her autobiography. The third one.

"You can say I'm like an ugly fat woman," Jordan added. "Cos they're the ones they say really try. I'm like one of them, I make an effort. I'm not just a lay on your back, open your legs, look at the time. I actually work it."

Okay then.

Of course, Jordan may be exaggerating a bit. Her own sex tape wasn't that impressive ... so we're told. By people who actually sat through it. Moving on ...

According to Katie Price, there is no truth to what you read about her split with Peter Andre. "Just every day, constant lies," she says, lamenting the gossip industry's fun at her expense, but also admitting that she understands how it goes.

"Unfortunately with the media and all the celebrity news magazines, the ones who were once loyal. Well, when I say loyal, this is a game, this is a game that we're in. If it's your time to get picked on then you get picked on, and you know I'm used to that."

by Free Britney at . Comments

Michael Lohan has serious problems.

Once again, Lindsay's deadbeat, convicted felon of a dad is in the news because some female has some unflattering things to say about his behavior.

Earlier this week, Mike came to friendly resolution with now-ex fiancee Kate Major, who agreed to drop assault and harassment charges against him.

Now, Rock of Love's Cindy "Rodeo" Steedle has filed a police report claiming he assaulted her while they worked together on a reality show in New York.

According to a poorly written letter to police, when Steedle raised the issue of not getting paid, he "became violent and raised his hand" in her direction.

Was Michael Lohan looking for a little rodeo with Cindy Steedle?

Steedle claims Michael "brushed his hand on my lower bottom" later that day and grew "angry" when she shut him down. Hey, a man has his needs.

According to the letter, Michael has been threatening her over the phone and via email ever since, and now she lives in fear for her life and child.

So far, no charges have been filed. Lohan responded: "Anyone in the house will tell you she is lying. I'd rather touch a hot stove, rather than her."

Oooh, you tell 'em, Mike. Your pristine reputation, credibility and massive fortune should carry you through this obvious ploy, don't you worry.

Who's the worst parent, Michael or Dina Lohan? That's the only real question here. That and what kind of reality show Mike and Cindy were doing.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Forget the hair on top of Zac Efron's head for a moment.

While readers debate whether this actor looks better with shaggy or spiked locks, Efron went ahead and put the focus on his face yesterday afternoon.

Cameras snapped photos of Zac with a full beard as he made his way through JFK airport in New York. Girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens was present, though is not seen here with her man. Might she be sending a message about her negative reaction to the facial hair?

Study it for yourself and then vote...

  • Scruffy Stud
  • With a Beard

Do you like Zac's new look?

 

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