Seriously, if there's one woman we could see taking it all off for PETA, it would be Dita Von Teese. Nude is her middle name. Just kidding. It's Von.

Just kidding about that, too. It's Renee.

The point is, a new PETA ad features Dita Von Teese. And she's somehow more covered up than those Alicia Silverstone nude ads for the same group!

But just because we won't see Dita Von Teese nude doesn't mean the burlesque queen doesn't still manage to entice. As the teacher of every schoolboy's dreams - in a tight a pink corset, wearing stilettos and fishnet stockings - she's well aware of the effect she's having on her apt pupils.

PETA at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.

Fresh off a campaign that made the media sit up last week and take notice when it unveiled a new PSA featuring Alicia Silverstone naked, the animal-rights group unveiled a new ad featuring the sultry Dita Von Teese as she teaches her ABCs - which stands for Animal Birth Control.

The ad quotes Dita Von Teese as saying:

"Nearly 4 million dogs and cats are put to death in the U.S. every year because there are not enough good homes. You can help prevent this - always spay or neuter your animals, and if you're considering adding a dog or cat to your family, please adopt from your local animal shelter."

PETA has perfected the art of using celebrities - and racy, offbeat images - to deliver animal-rights messages that might otherwise be rebuffed.

Among the A-list stars and bold-faced names it has partnered up with over the years: Oscar winners Forest Whitaker, Charlize Theron and Kim Basinger; Pamela Anderson; Paul McCartney; supermodel Christy Turlington; former NBA rebel Dennis Rodman; The Sopranos' Edie Falco; and Alyssa Milano.

Last week, Alicia Silverstone's ad was deemed too much for Houston, where it was blocked from cable TV. Who has a problem with Alicia nude? Jerks.

Please. Tell us it's not so.

We'll sit in a locked room with nothing more than Britney Spears' new songs and Lindsay Lohan's awful I Know Who Killed Me to entertain us for a full week. Just please, if you have any compassion, spare us this piece of news.

Perez Hilton reported yesterday that singer-songwriter and Grade A douche John Mayer was spotted cozying up to a girl in Austin, Texas. And sources on the scene in Austin say that the girl was - or looked exactly like - Minka Kelly.

The star of Friday Night Lights (which films in Austin) is not only the hottest TV cheerleader around (sorry, Hayden Panettiere), but one of our favorite young stars. The mere thought of her in John Mayer's arms inspires waves of nausea.

Please. Let this John Mayer and Minka Kelly rumor be just that.

Hopefully, this turns out to be mere celebrity gossip and not a romance we have to read about in the tabloids. Then again, John Mayer seems to cycle through babes quick, so if they are dating, at least she'll be single again by November.

Good Luck Chuck looks like an awful movie.

That being said, we don't deny the film's premise: Jessica Alba is hot.

The former star of the TV series Dark Angel has made a career out of this fact - and we're proud to document it in the photo tribute below:

In Honey, Alba did her best impression of Shakira. The actress starred as a dance teacher and those hips weren't uttering any lies as far as we could tell. And we stared at them closely.

Then there was Sin City. And, truth be told, Alba should have to go to confessional for simply looking this sexy.

Good Luck Chuck - co-starring Dane Cook - may not show Jessica Alba nude, but the movie's entirely plot is simply based on the fact that she's attractive.

TMZ, the outfit that has broken stories including the one about Mel Gibson and his raging drunkenness, now has "TMZ on TV." Perez Hilton, star of a juvenile celebrity gossip blog, is the star of a new VH1 show called "What Perez Sez."

It may be too late to go back, what with Us Weekly dominating newsstands and with cell-phone cameras in the pockets of a generation trained to take pictures first, post them to the Web second and ask questions ... never.

But now that the celebrity news and gossip eruption has oozed into TV, it is time, the Chicago Tribune opines, to rein in our salacious instincts and say "enough."

Enough with the endless chronicling of Lindsay Lohan. Enough with the non-stop steam of Britney Spears "news."

Enough with encouraging the prevailing celebrity gossip attitude that says, "You are famous, and so have relinquished all right to reasonable treatment."

It is one thing to report vigorously on illegal doings by people who happen to be well known, quite another to troll L.A. streets in hopes of catching Hollywood gossip or non-ordinary behavior â€" borrowing $5 from a friend to pay the valet â€" and then turn it, with commentary, rancid.

It may make even the most star-crazed among us queasy at times, but stars, for their fame, have sacrificed the right to complain, according to Mario Lavandeira, the celebrity gossip blogger better known as Perez Hilton.

"My position is that politicians and celebrities have made a choice to live life in the public arena, and when you're a public figure, you need to be prepared for the public talking about you," he says.

Lavandeira's idea of commentary is to scrawl on photos he posts: "Suicide watch" on a Britney Spears picture, male genitalia on a guy next to Jessica Simpson.

Of such amazing wit, superstardom is born.

Surprisingly, he's almost charming in the TV show. TMZ, on the other hand, gets nastier on TV, in part because it often has scant celebrity news to report and has to fill time with old footage and commentary.

"This is not my bag. I am a lawyer. I did investigative reporting," says Harvey Levin, the former TV producer who started TMZ for AOL Time Warner.

He stars in "TMZ on TV" as sort of the guiding intellectual force. This involves saying, "I love it," when told of some new naked photos or footage.

But he can't quite muster a defense of what TMZ does. He is eloquent on his site's reporting standards - pretty good in terms of breaking news, much less so in making fair use of video it accumulates trolling Hollywood late at night.

Ask him why TMZ is important or necessary, and you get something along the lines of a Miss Teen South Carolina (Lauren Caitlin Upton) stammer, to use another recent Internet gossip victim as an example.

Continue reading this Chicago Tribune indictment of Hollywood gossip ...

Miley Cyrus is not pregnant. And shame to all of you who actually believed this celebrity gossip rumor to be true.

"It's 100 percent false. Someone doctored a J-14 article and posted this online," publicist Meghan Prophet told People magazine about the talk. "It's ridiculous and completely untrue. Miley is not pregnant. She just wrapped season two of Hannah Montana and will go on tour beginning October 18."

Granted, we never would have believed Vanessa Hudgens naked photos were real two weeks ago, either. But, still, let's give Cyrus a bit of credit here, folks.

The rumors began circulating when a blog posted a fake interview with the teen singer, supposedly given to J-14 magazine, saying she was expecting a baby.

While Cyrus is not going all Nicole Richie on the world, she is about to hit the road for a 54-date tour that kicks off on Octover 18 in St. Louis.

"Miley is opening for me in Nashville," her dad, singer Billy Ray Cyrus, said, noting that she'll actually be playing to a much larger crowd than her father, who comes to Tennessee the next night. "She plays the [Sommet Center] arena with 18,000 people on Thursday night and I play the Wildhorse Saloon for 1,800 on Friday."

Somewhere in a seedy pocket of L.A., a prostitute is walking around wondering why on Earth someone would mug her for her outfit.

Every song Rihanna puts out becomes a hit, but this recent getup certainly doesn't qualify as such. When a good girl goes bad ... sometimes it's really hot (cough, cough, Hayden Panettiere), but other times it's just time to go back.

Rihanna... be lookin' like hell-a... el-la... el-la... eh. eh. eh.

While we give Rihanna mad props for her willingness to actually sing live at the MTV VMAs (talking to you, Britney Spears), he just don't know if looking like Janet Jackson from the Super Bowl is the best move for her at this point.

What's next? Rihanna nude photos showing up on the Internets? Is nothing in this world sacred? Just when you think you've seen it all... Rihanna looks ready to walk the street for money and Oscar De La Hoya wears panties and a tutu.

Look out, New York! Alex Rodriguez is on the prowl!

Just kidding. The once embattled Yankee slugger has been staying out of the papers of late, seemingly content to be banging home runs and wife Cynthia.

Speaking of Cynthias, Cynthia Nixon and her Sex and the City cohorts are back and in full effect! The fearsome foursome that took the Big Apple by storm on HBO for far too many years is now coming to the big screen!

Below, Kristin Davis, Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrall film a scene for the Sex and the City movie on location in New York City.

Movie theaters had better get ready for some sex. And the city.

Personally, we don't really care about this movie. Don't get us wrong, we laugh at the occasional Sex and the City quotes that our interns pull out of nowhere. We just don't see the appeal of the big screen adaptation. But that's just us.

We'd rather see Sex, Drugs and the Damaged Kids: The Britney Spears Story.

The woman who says she took revealing and borderline nude Oscar De La Hoya photos of the boxer wearing women's lingerie is changing her story.

Just days after she claimed the drag pictures were "not Photoshopped," model Milana Dravnel now tells the New York Daily News that she "cannot personally... verify the authenticity of the images."

Pictures of Oscar De La Hoya naked or dressed in drag "were taken from my personal camera and were out of my control," Dravnel said, adding she was "pressured into going public with the photos by individuals with improper motives who acted solely for their own financial gain."

Milana Dravnel would not go so far as to say that all the pics of Oscar De La Hoya were doctored. Asked about specific shots â€" such as one that appears to show her getting a hug from the tutu-wearing prize fighter â€" Dravnel declined comment.

Oscar De La Hoya: Champion boxer... and drag queen?

The gorgeous 22-year-old Russian immigrant and model would also not rule out that De La Hoya attended tequila-fueled parties where, according to sources, the Golden Boy dressed up in fishnets, stilettos, panties and a wig.

Sources have also said he took part in role-playing â€" sometimes using the name "Goldie" and pretending to be a squealing girl riding the back of a motorcycle. During one so-called "slumber party," Dravnel and other girls shaved the boxer's legs.

"Mr. De La Hoya and I had a platonic relationship," the former Scores dancer said. "We did not have intimate relations."

Oscar De La Hoya's powerhouse lawyer, Bert Fields, has threatened to use "all legal remedies" to defend his client's good name.

But Dravnel insisted the decision to recant some of her statements "is mine. I have not been approached or paid by anyone to do this."

Last week, Dravnel taped an interview for Entertainment Tonight, due to air this evening, in which she denies that the mortifying Oscar De La Hoya pictures had been altered: "I only agreed to do a television interview ... after I received numerous threats from people who were in control of the images."

Oscar De La Hoya, a champion middleweight who is married, has often had his personal life marred by controversy, having fathered four children by as many women, including a daughter with Shanna Moakler.

Well then. Between Oscar De Lay Hoya, Tom Brady, Michael Vick, Alex Rodriguez and O.J. Simpson, the worlds of celebrity news and sports continue to intertwine at The Hollywood Gossip. We can only imagine who will be next.

Valentina Paloma Pinault is the new daughter born to Francois Henri Pinault and Salma Hayek.

She's fortunate to enter this world with such a loving, well-off pair of parents. No doubt about that.

But there's another reason why Valentina may be the luckiest celebrity baby in Hollywood right now. Take a look below to see what we mean:

No offense to Katie Holmes, but Suri Cruise didn't exactly have the same full meals at her disposal as Salma Hayek's daughter will.

Kim Kardashian is getting her own reality show.

And appearing on the cover of Playboy in December.

And now the woman known for making a sex tape, possessing giant boobs and sticking out her large ass has been added to the cast of Deep in the Valley, a movie that includes Tracy Morgan, Scott Caan and Denise Richards.

The film is about two guys transported to an alternate universe right out of an adult production. So it sounds right up Kim's amateur porn alley. She can always turn to Kendra Jade for advice.

We assume these two loose woman are friends.