by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Atlanta returned last night with new cast members and one of the funniest, most ridiculous song performances you'll ever see.

As part of her initiation, we've forced a THG intern to cover the show in depth, as she goes over every nauseating detail of the episode below...

The producers should just have titled last night's installment ALL ABOUT KIM!  We saw Kim packing her many, many Louis Vuitton valises full of her many, many stripper heels and a few dozen of her ratty wigs.  We saw her driving in her rented bright yellow Lamborghini through the Palm Springs desert, with her assistant Sweetie, swerving through traffic like a deranged Barbie. 

Worst Performance Ever

Did you know the desert windmills produce all the snow on the mountaintops in California?  Me neither.  But apparently Sweetie thinks so. We see Kim prepping for her big gay stage debut at the White Party, choosing tutus and dust-rag dresses that wouldn't fit a 10-year-old much, less a 44 DDDD Amazon.

We see Kim fawning over the multitude of beautiful, buff go-go boys like a deranged madame choosing her wares for the season, as opposed to paying attention to her act.  Kandi then accuses Kim of not taking being a singer seriously.  Duh. Kim wants to come back as a gay man.  Sign her up!

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by Free Britney at . Comments

To the surprise of no one, it turns out the Tiger Woods sex tape being promoted by Devon James is a fake - according to the dude who co-starred in it!

Teneal Goyco, a vague Tiger look-alike, says he was paid cash to “pretend to be Tiger Woods” during a taped two-hour tryst with piece of work Devon.

The man claims he was paid $1,000 to impersonate Woods in sex scenes with James, who had him "dress" like Tiger, complete with Nike hat and vest.

OUTTA THE WOODS: Tiger is no sex tape star. Of course, he's still being spoofed in a sex tape with a woman he once slept with and a dude dressed up like him.

Devon James, who also lied earlier this year about Tiger Woods fathering her love child, is charging $25.95 for a video that's on sale now and ships November 15.

But Goyco's account pretty much nixes any remote chance that the video - featuring “Tiger Woods playing all the holes” with his former mistress - is legitimate.

"I was in it to make a few bucks and have sex with a pretty lady,” he says. “I thought I was just fulfilling this woman’s fantasy of having sex with Tiger Woods.”

Easy to see how that misunderstanding could happen.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

A recently-single, quasi-openly bisexual Christina Aguilera may have hooked up with Samantha Ronson during the late stages of her marriage to Jordan Bratman.

So states a source to Radar Online, as this individual claims Christina "turned to" Lindsay Lohan's famous ex for "emotional support" as her relationship with Bratman fell apart.

  • Kiss from Xtina
  • Long Drag

Could you blame Christina for turning to a hottie such as Samantha in times of need?

"They've known each other forever and they're good friends," said the insider. "Samantha was in Mexico with Christina for Nicole's [Richie] bachelorette party."

The website also has quoted sources that say Aguilera sent bodyguards to random women in clubs and asked if they wanted to go home with the singer. Such an open arrangement eventually created enough jealousy in Bratman that he wanted out of the marriage.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Anne Hathaway looks absolutely dazzling in the new issue of Vogue, but it's the actress' candor in her interview with the magazine that stands out even more.

As expected, Anne was asked about her infamous ex-boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri, who pleaded guilty to wire fraud, money laundering and conspiracy in 2008.

"Gosh, I hate talking about the breakup, because I don't want it to define me, but as is to be expected, there were a lot of lingering trust issues," she admits.

New Anne Hathaway Vogue Cover

ALL HAIL THE QUEEN: Anne is movie and fashion royalty.

Luckily, Hathaway bounced back and found love with Adam Shulman. "We hit it off immediately, but it took us a pretty long time to get together," Anne says.

"He thought that I had a boyfriend, and I thought that he had a girlfriend, so I thought that I'd better keep my distance because I didn't want to be that girl."

The actress, who stars in the upcoming Love and Other Drugs, also discusses her role in the movie as a young women with early onset of Parkinson's disease.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In "Back to December," Taylor Swift pretty clearly apologizes to Taylor Lautner.

In "Dear John," - another single off Swift's upcoming album, "Speak Now" - the singer even more clearly raises a giant middle finger to John Mayer.

A Swift Profile

A few months ago, the douchebag of an artist appeared to brag about hooking up with Swift. A witness even described the pair looking cozy during a night out together.

We have no idea what went down between these two, but consider that Taylor said of her new album "every single song is like a roadmap to what [a] relationship stood for;" consider the title in question; and consider the following lyrics and then decide for yourself if this is meant for John Mayer...

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Michael Lohan may need to get drunk and cause a scene after all.

The douchenozzle father of Lindsay Lohan showed up at the Betty Ford Center today to try to see his daughter Lindsay, only to be turned away by security.

Mi-Lo tried to visit Lindsay as part of Family Week in rehab, since he's family, at least biologically. But she apparently made it clear he's persona non grata.

Mi-Lo Pic

GET A CLUE: Mi-Lo can't seem to. [PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Sources say Michael made it out to Palm Springs only to be nixed by a guard at Betty Ford who referred him to someone in charge of the "Family Week" list.

Michael went to his nearby hotel and called said person, and says he's waiting for a call back. Just sit there, man. Don't call us again, Mike ... we'll call you.

Maybe they have HBO at the hotel?

by Free Britney at . Comments

Oksana Grigorieva is supposedly enlisting has a secret weapon in her attempt to strip Mel Gibson of overnight visits with their nearly one-year-old daughter Lucia.

But Mel won't give that up without a knock-down, drag-out fight.

Mel's attorneys have filed a request to depose Dr. Shawn McCoy, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in child custody evaluations, in the custody case.

McCoy previously submitted a declaration to the court which said, generally speaking, infants should not be with the dad overnight if the parents are separated.

Mel's had one overnight visit with Lucia a week for the past few months and there have been no problems, so convincing a judge of that could prove difficult.

Judge Scott Gordon gave Mel Gibson's lawyers the green light for a deposition of McCoy, so we suspect he'll be put on the spot regarding that generalization.

Oksana claims Mel is a deadbeat dad, but it bears mentioning that both are under investigation in separate cases, and neither has been charged with a crime.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Don't worry, Halle Berry and Sienna Miller: you're in the news for non-love life related reasons today.

The actresses, whose romances are well-documented by the press (Berry is dating Olivier Martinez, for the record; while Miller has probably broken up and made up with Jude Law twice in the time it took you to read this), were spotted wearing the same Isabel Marant blouse at different public events over the last few weeks.

Berry covered it with a vest. Miller did not. Who wore it better? You decide!

Halle vs. Sienna

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

This fifth week of competition on Dancing With the Stars was TV Theme week, with all eight couples performing to the music of a popular program, past or present.

Kind of a cheesy idea, but producers clearly had a lot of fun with it, as did the stars and their partners. In the end, good, clean fun was had by all on TV's #1 show.

Derek Hough and Ricki Lake Photo

Who led the way and who's at risk tonight? The results were somewhat predictable in terms of scoring, but that doesn't mean there weren't a few surprises ...

Brandy and Maks quickstepped to the top Monday.

Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovsky got the Friends theme, a fun choice since: 1. Maks is rumored to be more than friends with his partner every season. 2. They fight a lot! After last night's near-perfect quickstep, they have less reason to. 27.

Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough acted like they were Married With Children when they bickered in rehearsal. They battled through what was a bit of an up-and-down effort (albeit by their lofty standards) for a second-place total of 25.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Actor Randy Quaid and his bat$h!t insane wife Evi once again face arrest warrants after failing to show up for a Santa Barbara, Calif., court hearing yesterday.

The allegations against them? That they were crashing in a guest house of a Montecito home they once owned. Just staying there. Seriously, this happened.

A real estate agent found them out. Hilarious.

  • Randy Quaid Mugshot
  • Evi Quaid Mugshot

Randy and Evi Quaid: Not sane. Or unfunny.

Santa Barbara Senior Deputy D.A. Lee Carter says $50,000 warrants were issued after the duo failed to appear for arraignment on residential burglary charges.

As in their previous case, in which they were charged with defrauding an innkeeper and routinely missed court dates, the two are free to turn themselves in.

Otherwise, if they are seen by authorities between now and October 26, they'll be arrested on the spot. If they blow off that court date too ... it'll get ugly.

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