This just in: Ashlee Simpson is not sexy.
Chalk it up to the plastic face; the overbearing father; the annoying sister; the tool of a husband; or, likely, all of the above.
But if the new Melrose Place is looking for an actress to stare seductively into the camera as part of its promotional campaign, allow us to suggest star Katie Cassidy. She's hot - and, unlike Ashlee, she's actually an actress.
The following photo, courtesy of TV Guide Magazine, demonstrates Simpson's utter lack of sex appeal:
Conversely, the stars of The Vampire Diaries know how to do dark and sexy. Nina Dobrev, Paul Wesley and Ian Somerhalder may have taken their cues from the cast of the Twilight Saga, but that doesn't make them any less desirable.
If you're a fan of that film franchise, you've gotta tune in to this new CW show. It premieres on September 10.
Finally, in its fall television preview, TV Guide Magazine recommends Community, Eastwick and FlashForward. The strongest appeal of each these shows? None of them stars Ashlee Simpson.