by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It may have been the coolest moment in the recently-released second trailer for Eclipse:

Victoria's army of vampires emerges from the water and gets into line behind Riley. The latter character is played Xavier Samuel, an actor unafraid to take on Robert Pattinson in an edition of Who Would You Rather...

The X Man

But will movie goers be scared of this vengeful blood sucker? Oh yes, judging by the photo MTV released this week of Riley and company. Check it out now...

Riley, Victoria and those seeking to destroy the Cullens will storm into theaters on June 30.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

If you love The Hills, last night's premiere (Season 6, Episode 1) was a doozy. If you're so over The Hills by now, this episode is probably a classic example of why.

"Put on a Happy Face" featured Heidi Montag's family trying to do just that ... staring at her face and the rest of her body after 139 unnecessary plastic surgeries.

The Hills final season debut should have come with a "Warning: Disturbing Images" disclaimer. Below, THG breaks down the action using our patented +/- scale:

They should show a close-up shot of Heidi Montag's fake boobs in their hilarious glory as The Hills title card. Although those things are more like a mountain range.

Is it just us or are all of these chicks skinnier, meaner and more annoying than ever? Did MTV unveil new protocol for these mean girl anorexic fembots? Minus 9.

Lo is a full-time cast member at last! Plus 4!

Kristin Cavallari can't believe she's accused of drug use ... despite staying out until 8 a.m. and looking like a stick figure. Minus 5. Where would they get that idea?

Welcome 2 the Freak Show

A face only a mother could love... and even she has a hard time.

Let's run down Heidi Montag's plastic surgery in her own words: "I got a slight eyebrow lift and that's why I got these staples in my head. I had my nose redone, I had my own fat injected into my cheeks. I had my ears pinned back. I had injections into my lips. I had my chin shaved down. I had my breast redone, and my back shaped... and I had a little bit of inner and outer lipo." No points, we just had to.

Heidi's mother Darlene reacts honestly to her daughter's absurd plastic surgeries, asking "why [she] would want to look like Barbie?" Our thoughts exactly. Plus 18.

After Heidi Montag prods further, Darlene says looked "younger and fresher-looking" before. Minus 6, 'cause Heidi would so cry if her face weren't frozen in place.

Kristin is, like, mad that Brody Jenner is flirting with Audrina Patridge. We love Brody, but why keep recycling the same three guys as fake love interests? Minus 7.

Lame Shades

Hard partying Kristin denies she's got a problem.

Wearing sunglasses indoors doesn't make you look cool, Kristin. Minus 4.

Nice of Stephanie to make it out of rehab in time for filming. Plus 3.

Heidi tells her fam they "live in the mountains and wouldn't understand." LOL, as if Crested Butte, Colo., were some backwards, classless, hillbilly dump. Plus 11.

This isn't related, but Spencer Pratt is reportedly on the outs with the show after he refused to start a physical fight with Holly Montag. Yes, Spencer Pratt. Plus 5.

TOTAL: +10. The "reality" of The Hills is always debated, but it more or less on display last night, and we know this because we cover the cast's actual lives daily.

We much prefer episodes like this, whatever the annoyances, to absurd, contrived plot lines such as Speidi's baby argument or Kristin and Justin Bobby "dating."

Click to enlarge more pics from the episode ...

  • Staged Intervention
  • Stacie n' Kristin
  • Hills Girl Talk
  • Oh, K-Cav
  • Brody Macks Audrina
  • A Montag Moment
  • A Confrontation
  • Heidi's Mom is Pissed
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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

She might never win an Oscar, but Jessica Alba has a few things going for her:

  1. She's a fantastic mother to adorable daughter Honor.
  2. Chinese women really want to look like her.
  3. Her naked body is more desirable than that of Christina Aguilera.

Alba turns 29 today and we'd like to send the actress the very best of wishes. Won't you do the same?

Below, we've posted a photo montage of Jessica, as there's only one gift we can think of for a star that has everything: thousands of readers drooling over her beauty. Enjoy!

Tribeca Cutie
  • J. Alba Picture
  • Fun with Honor
Honor Marie and Mommy

Also, Saddam Hussein would have turned 73 today, but we totally helped kill that guy. USA! USA!

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It might not get any cuter than Gavin Rossdale, Gwen Stefani and their children. Just look at the family on Halloween last year.

Conversely, it doesn't get much uglier than Courtney Love, especially when she appears on The Howard Stern Show and tries to break up Gavin and Gwen by making wild accusations.

Courtney Love Fashion

Such was the case yesterday, as the Hole singer randomly went off on Rossdale's abilities in the sack, saying:

"He was such an Adonis in his day... He got good in bed... something happened. Maybe Gwen taught him, for all I know."

Wait, Stern interjected, does that mean Love slept with Gavin both before and after he was married? Yes, she claims, adding that Rossdale also cheated on Stefani with "a few other people" and:

"We didn't have a lot of pressure on each other, but we did like each other quite a bit. We had a really good time."

We have no idea of Courtney is telling the truth, but study the photo above. Now look at Gwen Stefani. Need we say more? Gavin's defense rests.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The Shania Twain pulled into the station this week, and two American Idol finalist sent a message to Crystal Bowersox:

This isn't over yet!

Okay, it probably is. Bowersox didn't hurt her standing as the clear season nine favorite last night, but Siobhan Magnus and Casey James both stood out during country night. We rank the six contestants' performance below:

  1. James: He was asked to mix it up, to do more than just rock out with his guitar, and Casey came through this week. He chose the ballad "Don't!" and really showed off his voice. Easily the best male remaining in the competition.
  2. Magnus: On "Any Man of Mine," Siobhan hit every note and then some. Never lacking for range or repeating the same performance from week-to-week, her originality is probably all that stands in the way of Crystal and the season nine title.
  3. Michael Lynche: Big Mike channeled Luther Vandross for "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing." With all the guys choosing slower songs, Lynche gets the nod over every dude by Casey because he connects so well with the audience.
  4. Bowersox: The judges didn't love her acoustic take on "No One Needs to Know," but let's face it: any performance would have paled compared to "People Get Ready" from last week.
  5. Lee DeWyze: Still could end up in the final pairing, but not if he has to sing any more country songs. Just looked uncomfortable trying to make "You're Still the One" into his own.
  6. Aaron Kelly: This should be an easy choice. We didn't expect Aaron to make it this far, but it's time to send him home.
Singing Shania
  • Aaron Does Country
  • The Clear Favorite
  • A Top Performance
  • Big Michael Lynche
  • Attempt at Country

Who was your favorite performer of the night?

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by Free Britney at . Comments

After a mediocre samba and poor finish in the group swing marathon, you knew Jake Pavelka was running on fumes. Last night, he sputtered out.

Kicked off Dancing with the Stars after a six-week run, he now knows how those aspiring wives who went home each week without a rose felt like.

Oh, wait, he was kicked off The Bachelorette too. Never mind.

"This is, I think, the best season of Dancing With [the] Stars I've seen," Jake Pavelka said of his experience. "I was so honored to be here."

"I enjoyed every second. I want to thank Texas, I want to thank all the Mavericks fans, Canada, all the tweets, Facebook ... thank you for keeping me here for six episodes. I can't even put it into words how much I enjoyed this."

Jake Pavelka in Tears

Where, oh where, will Jake resurface on reality TV next?

To partner Chelsie Hightower, who kinda resembles another certain petite blond Jake loves, he said: "You're one of my best friends. I have loved every second of this."

"I love you. Thank you for being so great to my beautiful fiancée."

Aww. Speaking of said fiancee, don't worry about the elimination, Jake. You had a pretty good run, and at least you have Vienna Girardi to go home to.

On second thought, maybe that is worth crying over. Just kidding ... sort of. We're not shocked Jake was booted last night, just that he's still engaged!

Niecy Nash was in the bottom two with Jake and scraped by along with the other five. Click to enlarge some of Pavelka's top Dancing moments:

  • Chelsie Hightower, Jake Pavelka Photo
  • Jake's Final Dance
  • Jake Looking Like Jake
  • Encore, Jake!
  • Jake with No Pants
  • Pavelka and Hightower
  • Jake Pavelka, No Pants
  • Jake and Chelsie Picture
  • Chelsie and Jake
  • Jake Pavelka Dancing
  • Jake Pavelka and Chelsie Hightower
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by Free Britney at . Comments

The saga of former Big Brother contestant Matt McDonald has gone from bad, to worse, to practically unbelievable in the span of about 72 hours.

Matt was arrested for beating his pregnant girlfriend last weekend, but reached a new low - we thought - by harassing her to drop the charges.

By phone, from behind bars!

Dude now faces the additional, serious charge of witness intimidation ... but oh, if only that were it for ol' Matty today. He's got far worse issues.

While investigating Matt for the above incident(s), authorities tied him to a conspiracy to distribute oxycodone ... with a former Big Brother co-star.

  • Matt McDonald Mug Shot
  • Adam Jasinski Mug Shot

These Big Brother bums are headed to the big house.

Adam Jasinski, if you recall, won Season 9, and was indicted in federal court in Massachusetts last year for starting drug ring with the winnings.

Now, according to a new indictment, Matt McDonald was involved in the alleged drug ring run by Adam Jasinski from April 2008 to October 2009.

McDonald and Jasinski were allies inside the Big Brother house ... and apparently after, after Adam pooled his $500,000 prize into mucho drugs.

If convicted of the drug charge, McDonald faces up to 20 years in prison and a $1 million fine. Jasinski? Probably even more than that. Wow.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

In the first episode of the Hills' maybe-final season, Audrina Patridge, Stephanie Pratt and Lo Bosworth confronted Kristin Cavallari about too much partying.

We'll have a recap of all that action for you a little later, but for now Kristin tells E! she has no such problem, and that the accusations came out of nowhere.

"I went out in Miami and for Super Bowl and had a good time," Cavallari said.

"I'm allowed to do that. But the fact that these girls accuse me of doing drugs, which, by the way, when they bring it up, it's so out of left field."

She thought they were kidding: "I mean, I think I started laughing ... For them to even accuse me of that kind of thing is so crazy, but it is what it is."

Indeed it is.

Kristin laughs off her friends' concerns.

Kristin Cavallari may be thinking about giving it another romantic go with Brody Jenner if the producers tell her to circumstances are right but right now the show's resident bad girl is absolutely, positively single - for better or worse.

"I'm not dating anyone!" The Hills starlet tells us. "It's hard to meet people in L.A., and if I get serious with someone, I don't want to put them on the show."

Fair enough, so what about all those reports of her spending time with Paris Hilton and Lauren Conrad's ex-boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, at Coachella recently?

"I've known Doug since I was 15 years old," Cavallari laughed. "Yeah, I saw him there, but not like that ... I'm not going to live my life off of stupid celebrity gossip ... We've been friends for almost 10 years."

Unneeded tabloid attention aside, Cavallari doesn't regret returning to The Hills: "I've had such a great time and it's been great on so many levels."

In other Cavallari news, she says Dancing With the Stars has come calling.

"A few different seasons ... I don't think I could do it. I have a serious fear of public speaking, let along dancing in front of all those people. I'd be a nervous wreck."

Now, strutting around in a bikini, that's a different ballgame.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Katherine Jackson is cutting down on the number of grandchildren living with her after the recent stun gun attack on Blanket. Probably a smart move.

Sources with direct knowledge of the situation say Katherine told Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza to take her kids and move out of the estate next week.

Michael Jackson Kids at Handprint Ceremony

Katherine is the late Michael Jackson's mother. Alejandra lives with her along with two of her children by Randy Jackson and two by Jermaine Jackson.

Supervising seven children is just too much for the 79-year-old grandmother, as evidenced by Jaafar Jackson trying to taser Blanket earlier this year.

FOR THE KIDS: Katherine made the right move.

The L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services came, took the gun and conducted interviewed. No charges were filed, or actions taken.

The family denies the stun gun incident was as bad as what was reported, but apparently whatever happened prompted the kids' change in location.

KJ is not heartless, though - Alejandra, Jermajesty, Donte, Randy Jr. and Jaafar Jackson are headed to a San Fernando Valley condo the estate owns.

As of next week, Prince, Paris and Blanket will have the run of the mansion, unobstructed and stun gun free. That's probably better for all involved.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Bret Michaels has suffered a setback.

As the singer tries to recover from last week's brain hemorrhage, he received some bad news in the intensive care unit today: Bret was diagnosed with hyponatremia, a side effect that is caused by a sodium deficiency. It can lead to seizures.

"Michaels remains under 24-hour observation in the ICU and is in positive spirits. He is responding well to tests and treatments," his rep said in a statement. "Even though today was a minor setback, doctors remain hopeful for a full recovery."

The rock star is conscious and in critical but stable condition. His father spoke to him this week and said his son sounds "a little slow, but fine."

Meanwhile, Bret's Celebrity Appreciate cast mates have wished him well, and we encourage THG readers to do the same.

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