The Christian publishers of Lynne Spears' "indefinitely delayed" memoir, to be entitled "Worst Mom Ever Pop Culture Mom," are still going forward with the book, but insist it's (wait for it) not a parenting how-to - but rather, a warning!

Thomas Nelson publishing released the following statement on its website:

"Lynne Spears' memoir will provide a window into the world of fame and worldly success, including the toll it extracts (sic) from some who aspire to it. It will provide a much-needed corrective to a world obsessed with the wrong priorities."

Hmm. Sounds like a perfect gift for, you know... Britney Spears?

Lynne Spears has done a bang-up job with Britney and Jamie Lynn.

The statement issued by Lynne Spears' would-be publisher continues:

"We believe in redemption and are standing with Lynne and her family. Though the book is delayed, we believe God is at work. The story is still being written, and we are confident in His ability to turn ashes into beauty (Isaiah 61:3)."

It is good to see that Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy can still be salvaged by the spin doctors over there at the publisher. While they are still going forward with the book, a rep for Thomas Nelson told celebrity news site TMZ that, "(the) Book is still delayed indefinitely with no set release date."

Welcome, celebrity gossip fans across the world, to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest. Let's take a look at who won this past week's edition, featuring alleged singer / actress and annoying Cowboys fan, Jessica Simpson ...

"Is your end zone really THAT good?"

From familiar faces to celebrity gossip newbies, we've added 29 new photos to our celebrity pictures gallery on this Friday. Here's a sampling of the new pics:

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If we expanded our list of Celebrities of the Year to include one more ranking, Scandalous Beauty Pageant Queens would undoubtedly be next in line.

From Katie Rees to Tara Conner to Ingrid Marie Rivera, no winner has earned her crown without being surrounded by a cloud of controversy. Or naked pictures.

The latest - possibly funniest, definitely most sacreligious - beauty queen to make news for non-evening-gown-wearing reasons? Valerie Begue.

Begue was named Miss France earlier this month, but numerous critics are now calling for her resignation. Leading is the charge is chairwoman of the Miss France committee, Genevieve de Fontenay.

"If she had some courage and a bit of dignity she would say 'I'm resigning because I'm not worthy to carry on as Miss France,'" Fontenay said.

So, what could possibly cause such contention? A series of leaked Valerie Begue pictures, most notably one that shows the beauty relaxing in a pool. Wearing a bikini. Pretending to be crucified like Jesus Christ.

The photo of Begue is similar to those of disgraced Miss Nevada winner Katie Rees, only if Rees had posed like the savior of mankind instead of like a lesbian.

Of course, the stuffy, haughty, smelly French want Begue to forfeit the crown just because she has a high opinion of herself.

"If I had been aware [of the pictures], she would never have been let into the Miss France competition I wouldn't want to be seen walking down the streets with a girl like that," Fontenay said, adding she would take legal action if necessary.

Life is even more hectic than usual for Britney Spears - and in large part, that's because she's not the center of attention for once. How's that for irony?

On Thursday, after spending a cozy afternoon at her Beverly Hills home with her two sons, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, the reputed singer scheduled - then abruptly canceled - a session at the Millennium Dance Complex.

"She wanted to try out a new dance routine," says a source.

But, in the wake of her 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn Spears' huge pregnancy announcement, the dance studio was swarmed by hoards of photographers.

Britney, who had been kept in the dark about the baby news until the story broke on Tuesday (Kevin Federline even knew before her), saw the crowd and "freaked out and just kept driving," says a source who was on the scene.

"Britney has said that she doesn't want to deal with the media because she is still so confused and shocked [about hearing Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant]," a source tells People. "She feels that she needs peace and quiet."

NOTE: It takes Jamie Lynn Spears pregnant to make her realize this?

Britney Spears later shopped for a young, small person. Maybe one of hers.

Britney remained friendly with all the celebrity gossip media during her shopping trip yesterday, however. Although the area offers plenty of great shops, Spears stopped at a random souvenir store on Hollywood Boulevard, where she picked up (and posed with) a Tinkerbell T-shirt and a pink bedazzled onesie. Yippee.

On the way home, Spears also hit one of her familiar haunts - a Carl's Jr. - for a late night snack of a cheeseburger, fries and coke. Too bad they don't sell booze.

Just when you thought the Spears family couldn't get any weirder.

A source close to Kevin Federline and his family has told the New York Post that the FedEx man was told that young Jamie Lynn is with child before Britney!

"Kevin knew before Britney that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant," said the insider. "In fact, Britney's mom Lynne, who has become tight with Kevin in the wake of her many troubles with her daughter and grandchildren, told Kevin about it on Monday, because Lynne wanted Kevin to be prepared when Britney found out."

Kevin Federline apparently knew Jamie Lynn Spears was pregnant before his crazy ex-wife, Britney Spears, had a clue. Then again, she has no clue about most things.

Lynne Spears, who's in the running with Dina Lohan for worst celebrity mother of this (and every) year, famously sold the $1 million story to OK! Magazine earlier this week, upsetting her ex (and Jamie Lynn and Britney's father), Jamie Spears.

We're just waiting for the inevitable rumor that Federline himself impregnated Jamie Lynn. After all, the FedEx man has already delivered four "packages" in his day, if you know what we mean. We mean sperm. Dude has four kids!

And speaking of Jamie Lynn Spears gossip, The New York Daily News is reporting this morning that JLS has been dating fellow Nickelodeon star Lil' Romeo. Could it be that Lil' Romeo, too, has been tapping that 16-year-old booty? We doubt it... which is too bad, because we'd love to see Casey Aldridge fight his ass.

Hypothetically, if he were the one who got his unprotected game on and got Jamie Lynn Spears pregnant, Lil' Romeo (born August 1989) would be legally in the clear!

Paris Hilton looks plastic in this picture.

Her boobs look monstrous.

And her occasional boyfriend, Alex Vaggo, looks brooding.

It all added up to an evening at Goa nightclub for the couple last night. Looks like they had a great time!

Hey, if we're gonna admire Eva Mendes nude, can you blame the actress herself for doing the same?

As the billboards for her PETA campaign were scattered around Los Angeles this week, Mendes gave her tush a little rub, personally fulfilling the fantasies of men around the world:

If PETA really wants to get its message across, it ought to have Valerie Begue pose nude for a campaign. Evidently, she carries a higher power.

Reality set in for Real Housewives of Orange County husband Matt Keough, who was arrested this week Newport Beach, Calif., for drinking at the bar at a local Marriott - thus violating his probation stemming from a prior DUI arrest!

This Matt Keough mug shot was released yesterday afternoon.

The 52-year-old Matt Keough pleaded guilty to felony DUI charges in 2005 after crashing his SUV into another car and causing a chain reaction which seriously injured a bicyclist. Keough left the scene of the accident and was later found at a nearby store, where he blew almost three times the legal limit.

Even Amy Winehouse would be impressed by that level of wasted.

Matt Keough was given probation - the terms of which were that he was not to consume any alcohol - not a drop. Police arrested him after a Newport Beach officer recognized him - and knew he wasn't supposed to be drinking.

Matt Keough played in the majors from 1977-1986 with the Oakland A's and four other squads. Matt's dad and his uncle played pro baseball as well, and his son, Shane Keough, is currently playing in the minors in the A's organization.

He'll be arraigned on the probation violation today. The Orange County Sheriff's Dept., which confirmed that Keough was arrested in 2005 for DUI, issued a press release saying "the Oakland A's as well as Matt Keough's family are working together to get Matt into a treatment center to obtain the help he needs."

Good news for fans of Casey Aldridge and fans of underage, unprotected teen sex everywhere: Jamie Lynn Spears' baby daddy can't be charged with statutory rape.

According to DMV records and family members, Casey Aldridge is only 18 years of age, having been born into this cruel world on April 29, 1989.

The significance of that date? Jamie Lynn Spears was born April 4, 1991, making her less than two years younger than Casey Aldridge.

Dumb as Casey Aldridge might be, no charges will be filed.

Apparently, under Louisiana law, you can bone a minor so long as she's not more than two years younger than you. Casey abided by that law by a whole 25 days! Wooooo!

Even more good news for the happy, teenage father-to-be: With Jamie Lynn Spears pregnant, Casey Aldridge doesn't have to worry about using birth control for the next few months at least! Who's the lucky guy now, eh?