Seven months pregnant and nearing her wedding day, Bethenny Frankel almost lost it completely this week.
But then Jason Hoppy came through for her and viewers of Bethenny Getting Married were treated to a happy ending. The entire episode is recapped below by our THG correspondent...
Yay! Our Bethenny is back! I found her to be the Bethenny we knew and loved from RHONY: witty, sassy, a little neurotic, but mostly lovable. Gone is the shrieking diva from last week who scared me half to death.
One of tonight’s funniest scenes was when Bethenny tried to squeeze into the dress she had picked out only days earlier for her bridal shower. She is expanding quickly this late in her pregnancy and things don’t fit from one day to the next. Her large boobs seem to be the problem more so than her baby bump. The dress is so tight she can’t even move her arms.
After freaking out and trying on every other dress in her closet, she ends up wearing a top as a dress and it is ridiculously short. “If I had a tampon in the string would be longer than this dress,” she says. This is the kind of line Bethenny delivers in her unique deadpan that endears her to us so much.
We see a similar situation later when Bethenny goes for a fitting of her lovely wedding dress. “I’m seven and a half months pregnant. I’m growing by the minute. I wake up every day and I don’t know what’s going to happen. And I’m eating like I’m going to the electric chair so I don’t know if I can fit into my underwear much less my wedding dress,” she says.
I love it because so many women can relate to this particular issue, pregnant or not. Who among us doesn’t hold her breath and say a little prayer when trying on a beloved item of clothing that has sat abandoned in a closet for months? You could see that familiar look of terrified anticipation passing over Bethenny’s face as the women around her zipped up her dress.
But let’s be honest here: Bethenny seven months pregnant is a hell of a lot more toned and fit than any of us will ever be even when not pregnant.
Though Bethenny did seem more relaxed overall in this episode, she was still a bit of a pill to Shawn, the beleaguered wedding planner. She berates him over the phone about choosing the perfect cake. He heaves a mighty sigh as their phone conversation ends. Then he high-tails it to Jersey to sample some cake because evidently Jersey is the only place that can pop out a wedding cake with a week’s notice. “You never want to make her unhappy,” says Shawn about Bethenny. “It’s like pregnancy hormones and it’s like scary.”
As he says this his eyes roll in together so hard it almost seems like his head might implode. He likes the red velvet cake and has worked hard to make the cream cheese frosting cream-cheesy enough for Miss Beth. Hopefully she’ll like it because if she doesn’t we can expect her not only to “rip his dick off” but also to mount his head on a stake at the wedding. Good luck, Shawn.
Elsewhere, Bethenny is trying to decide on the wedding reception menu as Jason is glued to March Madness on the boob tube. Seeing him happy and relaxed while she is so stressed makes her head just about blow off. “BEEF TARTARE? BEEF TARTARE?!” she shrieks in his direction. “I know it’s March Madness,” she says to Jason. “If you want to see March Madness, you’ll see a pregnant woman light her friggin’ hair on fire and go crazy right now.”
Jason isn’t sure what to do because she acts like she wants his help but really she just wants to make all the decisions herself because she thinks only she can make the right decisions. This is as obvious to him as it is to us, oh, and to Shawn too, of course. “You can’t hang over my head all the things that you take on. That’s your choice,” Jason says.
Bethenny then reaches a level 10 nuclear freak-out as Jason continues to recline and chillax on the couch. Her voice gets louder by the second until Jason and Cookie the dog are cringing. Then Jason asks, “Are we getting married for us or are we getting married for the production? That’s what I want to know.” It makes me wonder how he felt about signing up for this reality show in the first place.
Later, in an attempt to be more helpful and less lump-like, Jason surprises Bethenny with a trip to City Hall to get a marriage license. To me this seems like sort of a lame surprise but, whatever, it made Bethenny pretty happy. He also agrees to a honeymoon to St. Bart’s.