It's like clockwork.

Suri Cruise is as cute as Katie Holmes is bad at dressing herself - and in recent weeks, they've been inseparable with their outings in New York City.

Here's today's photo of the mother-celebrity baby combo:

How cute is Suri Cruise? And WTF is Katie Holmes wearing!?

It's a battle of big boobs!

In an interview with Great Britain's The Sun, Pamela Anderson had harsh words for British model Katie Price. We don't know why, but we're excited to report them:

"I have no idea how she became famous. She shows off her kids all the time in TV shows - that's beyond low. I’d never do that. Kids can’t make that decision at that age, can they?”

We agree with the sentiment that children ought to be kept off reality TV shows (are you listening, Denise Richards?) - but is Anderson really unsure how Price became famous? We can think of two reasons:

1. Large breasts;
2. Naked pictures.

Sound familiar, Pam?

How will Katie Price respond to Pamela Anderson's critique? She may use her fake boobs as a weapon!

At 4:35 Tuesday morning, Kim Kardashian posted an engagement announcement on her MySpace page. It implied that boyfriend Reggie Bush had proposed by placing a ring inside her dessert. Just one problem:

"She doesn't have a Facebook page," said Kardashian's representative, shooting down the rumor that her and Reggie had finalized plans to tie the knot.

While Kardashian and Bush may not be officially engaged, the reality TV star - and really bad dancer - admitted in June that marriage is on the table between the couple.

"That's something that we do talk about," she said. "I think that when you spend so much time with someone who is such a big part of your life, that's definitely the future."

Reggie Bush has definitely seen Kim Kardashian nude. We're just sayin.

It was a tough call (okay, not really) for Audrina Patridge on The Hills as Justin "Bobby" Brescia and Corey Bohan both vied for her large fake boobs affections.

While it was obvious who the topless Audrina Patridge would end up choosing (we all know she can't kick bad habit J-Bobby), who would you have gone for?

Justin-Bobby or Corey Bohan: Who would you rather ...

OMG ... LC is ready to leave The Hills!

Sometime.

"It's coming to a point where I love this show so much, but I'm kind of ready to walk away," Lauren Conrad said in an interview with Extra. "I've been doing it for five years now, and five years on TV is a really, really long time."

Conrad - who has denied the recent rumors that she had a fling with Audrina Patridge's on-off beau Justin-Bobby, and has also been linked to My Boys' Kyle Howard - says trying to have a relationship in the public eye has been tough.

"It's more difficult when not only everyone knows about your problems, but they make them worse because things escalate and things get twisted," the star says. "It's hard to have an actual friendship be torn apart in the media."

Is Lauren Conrad reaching her reality TV breaking point?

As for pal Whitney Port's upcoming MTV series The City?

"I'm so proud of her for this next show," Lauren Conrad said.

"I think in The Hills, she never really let them film her personal life. She hasn't really experienced the whole 'put your personal life on TV thing.'"

Note to Alan Panettiere: If a judge has to tell you not to beat up your wife, it might be time to re-evaluate your life. Or lay off the booze.

An order of protection was issued today against the father of Heroes actress Hayden Panettiere, hereby ordering Alan not to "harass, strike, threaten, assault (sexually or otherwise), follow, stalk [or] molest" wife Lesley. That about covers it.

According to TMZ, Alan Panettiere was at court today on misdemeanor battery charges stemming from an alleged fight with his wife back in August.

He and Lesley both downplayed it at the time, but he was arrested.

The actual arraignment was postponed until December 11 and he will remain free on $50,000 bail. If convicted, Panettire could get a year in jail.

In related (and by related we mean not at all related) news, man, Hayden Panettiere photos are just so fine! Girl is a cutie, we're not gonna lie.

Former star of The Bachelorette Trista Sutter and hubby Ryan Sutter are the only couple from the Bachelor / Bachelorette franchise who actually got married. They seem very cool and normal, and recently welcomed their first child, a son Max.

Now Trista is pregnant again, according to Life & Style Weekly. Woohoo!

After a year of joy with their adorable little boy, who celebrated his first birthday on July 26, Ryan and Trista Sutter are running it back again!

Trista, who’s already more than three months along, says she is both excited and apprehensive about what this pregnancy will bring, considering some of the complications she went through the first time. We wish her the very best.

Congratulations go out to the grounded, happy former stars of The Bachelorette. DeAnna Pappas and Jesse Csincsak better take some notes.

It's difficult for The Hollywood Gossip staff to keep up with Karissa and Kristina Shannon.

We have no idea how an 82-year old Hugh Hefner does it.

Here's the latest on Hef's 19-year old girlfriends:

Erica Civello, the woman Karissa and Kristina were charged with attacking in January, is getting her side of the story out. She says the night in question turned ugly the her and the twins, along with Erica’s boyfriend Ben, decided to go out partying after they got off work.

“We all went over to my friend Nicky’s house but after a while one of them, Kristina, wanted to go home and was acting all stupid slamming the gates outside,” Civello told Scandalist.

“She was trying to physically kick people, I’m not sure if she was playing around or not. She was in a really mad mood because she just wanted to leave. I started arguing with Kristina and we started fighting, when from behind one of them came up behind me and knocked me out cold with a bottle.”

According to Erica, the blow led to a concussion, a broken nose and a cut on her head. Here's a photo of her, taken soon after the incident:

According to Erica Civello, Karissa and Kristina Shannon were responsible for this damage.

Erica says beatdown wasn't even the strangest part of the night, however.

“The twins were taken outside and were bragging about what they did, saying my blood tasted good. Apparently one of them even licked her hand which had my blood on it, which is pretty weird,” Erica, who did just claim she was knocked out cold, said.

As for the Shannon sisters' new role as Hefner’s live-in girlfriends?

“I don’t think they deserve a break like that, it makes me sick to my stomach,” Civello said.

That's the same reaction typical 19-year olds would have when it comes to sex with an 82-year old man.

It was time to Tango on Dancing with the Stars last night for our favorite couple, Cody Linley and Julianne Hough.

As usual, the performance landed this duo in the middle of the pack; they earned a combined score from the judges of 23.

Cody and Julianne will need to step it up if they wish to compete with this season's favorites, Brooke Burke and Derek Hough.

Watch Linley and Hough's version of the Tango now and judge it for yourself:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hChh7k4nlpw&eurl=http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/videos/tango-time/[/youtube]

THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP NOTE: As is our new custom, our recap of The Hills will consist of a brief rundown of events, then our staff members grading last night's episode, awarding (or deducting) points for the best and worst moments.

Despite the presence of a charming Corey Bohan, Audrina Patridge is still drawn to bad boy Justin-Bobby, while Lauren Conrad is cute as ever, and a conniving Spencer Pratt is still determined to give Holly Montag the boot from his apartment.

On to the rankings!

"If you take your top off and went over there, I'd probably have to chase you," Justin Bobby says. Dear God, what an unbelievably lame line, but Plus 5 because it totally works and he thus gets to see Audrina Patridge (fake boobs and all) topless.

The Cabo San Lucas Tourism Board must pay for all the name dropping. Minus 1.

Backhanded compliment of the year from Spencer to Stephanie: "I can't imagine disliking a sister more... Should make you feel good." LOL. Plus 7.

Once again, we are forced to mention that we already know Justin-Bobby will win out before any drama unfolds, as Corey Bohan was seen with Audrina 24/7 for like a week this summer before falling off the face of the Earth. Minus 10.

Corey is hot. J-Bobby is not. Audrina missed that memo? Minus 4.

Audrina laments to Lauren Conrad that she hasn't had to choose between two guys in the longest time. Girl is only 23, but Plus 4 because when you're wrapped up in a faux-reality bubble, a few weeks can seem like an eternity.

Spencer Pratt tells Stephanie that Holly is "the mooch of the century." Minus 2 for a pot calling the kettle black, but Plus 6 because he's oblivious and doesn't realize it.

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