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She’s Elegance And Taste; She’s Miss United States

I always wanted to be a reporter ??? maybe some TV. Who knows? Some serious news ??? but some modeling, too.

I just don’t want to end up like Katie Couric. I want people to take me seriously.

–Miss USA Rachel Smith, reminding us that when she’s not “wearing, like, a hot pink Rocawear sweatsuit and paraded around my room at the Waldorf, just dancing with my crown” she’s considering how best to achieve a serious career in journalism.

[via NYDN]

Sep 24, 2007 · Link · Respond

The Only Thing That Hasn’t Happened To Samantha’s Vagina Yet Is Menopause

Sex and the City spoiler alert: Charlotte gets knocked up, Big is emotionally distant, but nobody cares because the SHOW ENDED OVER THREE YEARS AGO.

• Can we tawk for a minute about that meshugana Joan Rivers and her horse-faced daughter, Melissa?

• Stupidity pays: Miss Teen South Carolina stands to make $25,000 as a model for Donald Trump

• Oddly enough, not every bearded Asian man is Judge Lance Ito

• 62-year-old prostitute apprehended by police, mercilessly mocked for her $15/hour going rate.

Bombing live performances is so now!

Sep 20, 2007 · Link · Respond

If David Beckham Were Billy Madison, He’d Never Have Made It Past The First Grade

• David Beckham has trouble doing his six-year-old’s math homework. Which explains why he’s convinced that he’s married to a twenty-something.

• Britney Spears reportedly had another yak attack, and was then carried out of the bar “sobbing and covered in sick.” Nice!

• Lindsay Lohan’s new boytoy is quite the catch! If by “catch” you mean “someone who likes having sex with two coked-up prostitutes, and then filming it, just for fun.”

• Meanwhile, pictures of Lohan passed out in DJ Samantha Ronson’s car are disturbing. Or hilarious, depending on your perspective.

• It’s a beautiful day for Miss Universe bikini pictures. BONUS: Miss USA is actually standing upright, for once!

• Brittany Murphy’s husband once bought his former fiancé a fake engagement ring. So she responded by having a fake affair.

May 30, 2007 · Link · Respond

Miss USA Goes Down, And Not In The ‘Good’ Way

• Miss USA came, she fell, and she lost. Badly.

• Reactions to Lindsay’s second stint in rehab: “Lindsay Lohan has finally seen the light—and all it took was video footage of her doing cocaine, a DUI arrest, and photos of her puking on the sidewalk.”

• Michelle Williams totally has that “Brooklyn Hipster Who Sleeps With Heath Ledger” look down-pat!

• Meanwhile, Rose McGowan perfects the “Walking Against The Wind In A Low-Grade Hurricane” pose.

• Amy Winehouse’s mom is concerned, because (a) she’s negligibly thin (b) her hair is an ode to Bride of Frankenstein or (c) she’s clearly on crack cocaine. [Ed: The answer, surprisingly is (a)].

May 29, 2007 · Link · 2 Responses


• Star Jones allowed back on television, but only in a role she’s practiced.

• Maybe they’re moving to the Dakota, maybe they’re not — but TomKat won’t be separated in Shreveport, La.

• Former Miss Teen USA Vanessa Minillo will help The Donald choose the next crackwhore named Miss USA.

• Russell Simmons is A-OK with Djimon Hounsou having sloppy Kimora seconds.

• Matthew McConaughey has been showing off his V on the beach all for a movie role.

• Barack Obama walked into a room.

• Hollywood, circa 2037 … is gross.

CONTINUED »

Mar 7, 2007 · Link · Respond

Nancy O’Dell axed as the host of Miss USA? That’s not what we hear. Despite Page Six’s Monday report that Donald Trump is looking to replace the Access Hollywood anchor as the host of his pageant franchise, one insider tells us that “she is hosting the pageant” — “and “she’s mad” over any suggestion otherwise.

The rumor initially started over The Donald’s supposed anxiety of a pregnant (and showing) woman hosting his show. Not that discriminating against pregnant women isn’t illegal or anything.

So where’d the leak – where Emmitt Smith’s name is floated as a replacement – come from? Our source says “not from [O’Dell] or NBC.” For its part, NBC has confirmed O’Dell is hosting the show. All of which points to a certain follicle-challenged real estate baron who’s looking for an out on O’Dell’s contract.

Feb 22, 2007 · Link · Respond