Would You Hit It?

Seriously, MTV? This is the best you can do?

We realize The City is as scripted as The Hills, and you need to dig up a nice fake boyfriend for Whitney Port to date and pretend to make things interesting.

Laughably obvious as this strategy is, it at least makes sense to a certain degree. Deciding on Freddie Fackelmayer as the guy to fill the role? Not so much!

First, as N.Y. Magazine puts it, the commercial real estate broker has glaringly white bleached caps that "elevate his fake tan to Oompa Loompa proportions."

LOL, because that's not even that big of a stretch.

Clad in baby blue and pink, he is "a modern-day Nantucket-dwelling Poseidon who just body surfed from New England to Manhattan on a wave of hair gel."

It's hard to even take Freddie Fackelmayer seriously.

One could overlook these superficial flaws if Freddie Fackelmayer made up for them by being at all interesting. But he may be the most boring individual ever.

Moreover, he elevated his second-date awkwardness on this week's The City by bringing along his father, Fridolin (?!) to dinner with Whit without telling her.

Always a winning strategy, right girls?

Even though it's her own fault for agreeing to fake-date Freddie, we still felt bad for Whitney Port after the snobby dad patronized the living $h!t out of her.

No wonder they already broke up.

Maybe we're way off base, but somehow we doubt it. We need your opinion, ladies: Is Freddie Fackelmayer at all appealing, or as big a tool as we think?

Tell us: Would YOU hit it?

Last week's season premiere of The Hills elevated the contrived nonsense of MTV's cash cow to a new level with the injection of ample forced drama.

Specifically, someone dragged Kristin Cavallari out of the woodwork and told her to pretend she is interested in Justin Brescia, a.k.a. Justin-Bobby.

This caused tension with Audrina Patridge, Justin's ex.

It was obviously all staged, yet it can't be denied that Justin-Bobby has at least some appeal to women. Audrina couldn't quit this loser, after all.

Some viewers of the "reality" show have even commented that Justin is "hot." We don't see it, but maybe we're in the minority (doubtful, but maybe).

Tell us, ladies, would you go there? Vote below ...

Justin-Bobby: Would you hit it?

The annoying Stephanie Pratt donned a bikini as she taped a pre-Labor Day episode of The Hills with new cast member Kristin Cavallari in Malibu, Calif.

The 23-year-old sister of Spencer Pratt sure has whipped herself into shape, as the reality TV beauty didn't look nearly this svelte a few months ago:

Stephanie Pratt filming The Hills. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

With Indian summer in full swing, that means plenty more Stephanie Pratt on the beach in her two-piece, playing a big role in Season 5 of The Hills.

Which is great ... except it's Stephanie Pratt.

Sure, she's a cute girl. But she kind of looks like Spencer, which is kind of a turn-off, and she's also all sorts of painful. The burning question:

Would you hit it?

It looks like Las Vegas is losing its luster.

The former hot spot for celebrities and entertainment has been reduced hiring the likes of Jon Gosselin and Ambert Rose as pool party hosts.

The father of eight and bagger of anyone with breasts chilled in a private cabana at the MGM Grand over the weekend; while Rose led the Tao beach party at The Venetian Hotel and Casino Resort.

Kanye West eventually flew in to hang with Amber and bring some legitimacy to the event. We hope he wasn't worried about losing her to someone else.

Trust us, Kanye, the ugly, self-absorbed, often-naked, orgy-hating Rose is all yours.

Would you sleep with Amber Rose?

Oscar winner Anna Paquin, who fans of True Blood know as mind-reading Sookie Stackhouse, says that unlike the Twilight and New Moon phenomena, her vampire-themed show is meant for older, more mature audiences.

"It's not appropriate for teenagers to be watching our show," the 26-year-old Canadian-born actress said of the HBO series. "I wouldn't have been allowed to."

Paquin, who won a Golden Globe for her work as Sookie, has some hot True Blood spoilers in store for us this season: she's gonna be getting naked. A lot.

"I get more naked this season than I did last season," she says. "We have a really great crew and everyone's really respectful. It's not an issue for me."

Which is awesome ... or is it? Some people on our staff find Anna Paquin super cute, others not so much. Tell us in the poll below: Would you ... you know?

Would you hit it?

To be honest, we're not sure how we feel about this.

This photo of the lead Black Eyed Pea from Allure magazine below is tastefully shot, and portrays the talented singer in a light in which we rarely see her. It's nice.

The star, whose real name is Stacey Ferguson, certainly wears that swimsuit well, but like we often see with Fergie fashion, the pic itself is just not doing it for us.

The photographer did the best he or she could with the subject matter, and the cover photo is slightly better, but what do you think? Does she hold Allure for you?

Would you hit it?

Her vagina might be cavernous, but her body is slammin.

While Steve Neild is rumored be an expert on both these Kate Gosselin body parts, the public has now been exposed to the latter, following a vacation Kate and her kids recently took to Bald Head Island, North Carolina.

The mother of eight likely raked in hordes of cash from paparazzi as she was photographed in a bikini last week during the trip.

While Gosselin doesn't look like someone that has given birth to two sets of multiples, her body is not the result of any impressive workout routine. Instead, a tummy tuck was one of the numerous freebies TLC handed out to Kate and husband Jon.

Regardless of how she got this way, the bottom line is that Kate Gosselin is bordering on major MILF status. Do you agree?

Would you hit it?

Pamela Anderson celebrated the holiday weekend the best (only) way she knows how - rocking a bikini in California. Okay, for 41, Pam looks pretty damn good.

Seriously, just look at that figure. Wow.

There's considerable baggage, though. Three disgusting ex-husbands, who knows what ailments and all that plastic surgery later, would you still go there?

Tell us below ...

Would you hit it?

As she said herself in her hilarious personal ad for Funny or Die, Lindsay Lohan is a fun-loving redhead with a little bit of sass. In other words, she's insane.

LiLo has also gotten pretty skinny in the last couple of years, to put it mildly. Maybe some guys (and Samantha Ronson) are into the whole skeletal thing.

She's a cute girl, but with the mental instability, substance abuse problems, extreme weight loss and possible ankle monitor presence ... would you go there?

Tell us in the survey below ...

Would you hit it?

Readers are somewhat conflicted on Fergie's hotness. Depending on who you ask, this Black Eyed Pea and new wife of Josh Duhamel is either really hot, or really not.

There's only one thing to do, then, and that's put it to a vote. Take a long look at this photo of Fergie and tell us your verdict on this all-important issue below ...

Would you hit it?