Who Would You Rather ... Gossip

When Paris Hilton friends you haven't heard about in several years (if at all) get together at the same party, well, almost no one cares. But we do! It's our job!

On the left, we have Brandon Davis, a.k.a. Greasy Bear, coiner of the term "firecrotch" for Lindsay Lohan and general waste of space. His hair is rather oily.

On the right, we have Stavros Niarchos. He used to date Paris ... and Lindsay. And one of the Olsen Twins. Dude is lookin' rather sharp with his new haircut!

The only question? Who would you rather ... you know? Vote below!

Who would you rather ...

In a recent interview with E! News, Glee star Cory Monteith relayed a message to reporters:

I'm not Zac Efron!

The Canadian actor has been besieged by comparisons to the Disney star, but he says those have fortunately died down over the last few weeks.

"I'm not Zac Efron! That was the biggest and most welcome change to my life: that I don't have to explain the show and explain how it's not like High School Musical anymore. Now everyone's seen it for at least five minutes," he said.

It's true. We've seen Glee and we adore it.

Still, we're gonna essentially ignore Monteith's words and ask readers to compare these singing studs below. With which would you prefer to perform a naked duet?

Who would you rather take it from?

Here's a photo op for the ages: Levi Johnston, former Bristol Palin "fiance" turned Playgirl model, and Jon Gosselin, former reality star, in NYC's Times Square.

The occasion? The First Annual Douche Awards. They both cleaned up!

Just kidding, although they would have if it were a real event. Levi and Jon were set to appear on a panel for the syndicated entertainment show The Insider.

That's pretty much what Jon does every day of his life, but for Levi, who's been working out like a madman for his upcoming nude photo shoot, it was new.

Both of these guys have been assailed by their baby mamas lately.

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, who's actually Levi's baby mama's mama, said Johnston has a "desperate need for attention" for posing in Playgirl next month.

He recently filed for joint custody of son Tripp, which is sure to sit well with the Palins. He doesn't seem scared of the former Alaska chief executive, though.

Jon's estranged wife Kate has also slammed him for his antics.

Repeatedly. That banshee separated from the father of her eight children earlier this year, sending him into the greatest midlife crisis in American history.

Just one question remains: Who would you rather ...

Young hunks Brody Jenner (of The Hills quasi-fame) and Jesse Metcalfe (of Desperate Housewives fame) hung out at the EMAs in Berlin, Germany last week.

Which naturally got us thinking: Who would you rather .... um, you know? Vote in the survey below and let us know which JV Hollywood stud you think is preferable:

Who would you rather ...

Someone needs to hand Sharon Osbourne a mirror.

The talentless America's Got Talent judge appeared on Sirius XM's The Opie & Anthony Show today and blasted Susan Boyle. Said Sharon:

"[God] gave her the talent. But he hit her with a f*cking ugly stick.... I like everybody to do well. Even somebody that looks like a slapped arse... God bless her. It's like, 'You go girl'. She does look like a hairy a**hole."

Note to Osbourne: you're not exactly Megan Fox! Watch the video below:

Based on these taunts, we've gotta ask: Who would you rather... you know?

Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter and the rest of the New York Yankees defeated the Philadelphia Phillies to win their 27th World Series championship last night.

Everybody knew that was coming (sorry, Phillies fans). Because we enjoy a competition that actually close, THG is bringing back another heated battle:

Who's hotter, A-Rod's loudmouth sex fiend girlfriend Kate Hudson, or Derek Jeter's equally gorgeous better half, Friday Night Lights star Minka Kelly?

There's little or no question which of these members of the Yankeee WAGs club is the more high-profile annoying, outspoken and starved for attention.

That would be Kate Hudson. Seriously, we know and Mr. Centaur are so in love and bone constantly and all, but give it a rest. We notice, okay? Happy?

But who would you rather ... you know? Vote below!

Minka Kelly or Kate Hudson: Who would you rather ...

One is a comedian.

The other is a Dancing Star.

But readers of Playboy will get a chance to see both Chelsea Handler nude and Joanna Krupa nude in the very near future.

There will be two different covers of the magazine's December issue this year, as Christmas comes early in the form of a pair of scantily-clad blondes. See for yourself:

But what if this wasn't the case? What if Playboy made subscribes choose between Krupa and Handler?

Which of these women would you rather strip down and saddle up?

Just when we thought Tyra Banks couldn't get any more lame...

The self-serving talk show host revealed one of her Halloween outfits today, and it involved a wig and a push-up bra. How original!

Indeed, Tyra somehow thought it was creative to dress as Kim Kardashian for All Hallows' Eve, as she stood next to cardboard cut-outs of Kourtney and Khloe on her show and basked in the applause of those that have been brain-washed into thinking she's anything but a self-involved diva.

We despise her.

Still this costume did get us thinking about one question: Who would you rather take from behind and Ray J?

We were watching Leave it to Lamas the other night (there was nothing else on ... um, yeah, that's the reason) and we couldn't help but remember the ol' days.

The ol' days when there was no Shauna Sand sex tape and Shyane Lamas was just that ditz from The Bachelor who Matt Grant was engaged to for like a day.

Then we got to thinking that Shayne reminds us a bit of another spoiled and skanky relative of a famous guy, Daisy De La Hoya (niece of boxing champ Oscar).

It's a battle of useless, bleach-blonde reality TV fame whores. One that will likely go down to the wire. Simple question for you: Who would you rather ...

Who would you rather ...

Poor Alina Puscau.

The gorgeous model bares it all for Playboy this month, but her pictorial is overshadowed in many ways by Marge Simpson's naked spread in the magazine.

It's gotta be tough to be on dueling covers with a cartoon icon, but Puscau is taking it well. We actually spoke to the Romanian beauty and asked her about this experience:

On posing nude for the first time: I felt very comfortable because it was my boyfriend [director Brett Ratner] taking the pictures.

On Ratner doing the shoot: It was very difficult because he is a director and very demanding and a perfectionist. It was the hardest photo shoot I’ve ever had, but we had a lot of fun as well.

On who is sexier, her or Marge Simpson: Marge Simpson is definitely sexier than me and she has fantastic blue hair.

On other projects: I have an album coming out soon that I recorded in my home country. My single album is called “When you leave” and was produced by the famous DJ Basshunter.

On meeeting Hugh Hefner or his girlfriends: I met Hugh Hefner, but I never met his girlfriends, but I watch them on The Girls Next Door. I love that show.

It's difficult to compete with someone responsible for a bevy of hilarious The Simpsons quotes, but don't pity Alina Puscau.

Which of these beauties would you prefer to see naked?