Twitter

It doesn't get any more pathetic than Miley Cyrus.

It's been well-documented how the singer relies on Twitter to garner attention and sympathy from her fans. She posts the most self-centered, pointless messages of any celebrity on the network.

But Miley has now taken it to a new level. Earlier this week, she Tweeted:

I wish just once I could look out into the crowd and he would be sitting in the front row singing along. I miss you.

Then, six minutes later, she wrote: Regarding my last tweet. Yes it was about a boy. The one who never lets me down. The one who always makes me smile. My Pappy.

Here's a crazy idea, Miles: if you miss your father, PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL HIM!!! Why resort to some mysterious, creepy Twitter message for the world to see... only to then clarify it minutes later?

Actually, scratch that. We all know the answer.

It's understandable why fans would be confused when Miley Cyrus references a boy. She toys with so many, it's easy to lose track.

Miley and father Billy Ray have a well-known, inappropriate relationship. This is a man who has no problem with his 16-year old daughter strutting around the stage like a stripper. Hey, as long as it makes the family money, right?

** Update: Astute readers have written in and said Cyrus refers to her late grandfather as "Pappy." We still hate her, and we still can't fathom why she posted such a mysterious initial message on Twitter, but we apologize for the misunderstanding.

To watch a clip of Cyrus singing "Party in the USA" while trying not to pole dance, follow this article's jump.

It is only fitting that Nicole Richie, who just became a mom for the second time, took to Twitter to tweet for joy about her new baby bird ... er, boy, Sparrow.

After the birth of their son yesterday Nicole and fiance Joel Madden each went online to express their love for themselves publicity Twitter itself their child.

"What a great day to come back on Twitter," Nicole wrote, somehow without sarcasm. "Thank you everyone for your well wishes. I love my family!!"

That's good. We wouldn't have believed it, and it probably wouldn't even be true if she hadn't written about it online for 639,351 of her closest friends.

Joel also lamely Twittered props to his son: "1st day of his life & my son is already a trending topic on twitter. That's right son, ur just like your old man."

We're happy the baby is healthy and all, guys, but get a life. Go hang out with Sparrow. Occasional updates are great, but so is the idea of moderation.

Is the nanny busy caring for the baby while you Twitter about it?

Harlow has yet to welcome Sparrow to the world on Twitter. Get on it, girl!

We were just thinking about how Lindsay Lohan had not taken to her beloved Twitter account to unleash an unnecessarily public rant in what feels like days.

Before, it was the seedy peeps who ransacked her home who bore the brunt of the waif's Tweeting tirade. She knows who you are guys (only she doesn't)!

This time, it's on-off-on-off-on-off lover Samantha Ronson who finds herself in the crosshairs. Not that anyone knows what the hell Lindsay is talking about.

According to Twitter, the rant began around 7:30 a.m. EST, or 4:30 a.m. PST, probably before Lindsay even went to bed. Heck, she's probably still up now.

FIRE(D UP) CROTCH: Something really made Lindsay Lohan fly off the handle this morning. We don't know for sure what, but she sure is pissed @samantharonson.

Regardless, the actress and "fashion ambassador" really needs a lesson in spelling, as well as some protein and probably a whole team of psychologists.

All of the above might help stave off meltdowns such as this.

So here's Lindsay Lohan going all Miley Cyrus (albeit less coherently), spilling her guts like a madman on Twitter, as if anyone gives a rat's a$$.

You have to read from the bottom up, given the 140-character limit. Not that this will likely help you garner any clue as to what she's saying ...

This concludes Thursday morning's stimulating look inside the mind of the great Lindsay Lohan. Suffice it to say, it's not a pretty scene in there.

We know you're the queen of Twitter, Demi Moore, but everyone knows the worst thing you can do is start a feud with Perez Hilton. The low-life always wins, even by being a loser. He has no purpose, other than garnering attention.

Just the same, Moore decided to ignite a Twitter fight with Perez for three-week-old tweets like: "Tallulah Willis, 15, dressing like a slut! Look at her boobs!"

Tallulah, of course, is Demi's daughter with Bruce Willis.

While anyone can and should be pissed that this moron is talking trash about their daughter, it's best not to engage Perez. Ever. But Demi did, Tweeting:

"Clearly Perez Hilton isn't taking violating child pornography laws very seriously. He might not but there are alot of people who do! Anyone who advertises follows or supports Perez supports violating child pornography laws!"

Tallulah Willis is pictured below with her mom Demi Moore. Click here for the Tallulah picture in question, which Perez's original remark was based on.

Yes, she's 15, and calling her a slut is inappropriate, but come on, this is nothing we haven't seen from teenagers countless times ... usually Miley Cyrus.

Predictably, as soon as Moore fired that off, Perez took a well-earned break from drawing semen on celebrity pics and started Twittering like a madman:

• "Expect another letter from my attorney, kitten. Xoxo"
• "P.S. Bring it on, bitch!"
• "That fine, upstanding, wholesome young lady is 15. Still waiting for you to retract your incorrect, libelous and defamatory statements"
• "And thanks for drawing MORE attention to your daughter's behavior and your parenting skills (or lack thereof). U r real smart!"

Wonderful and highly intelligent stuff, as always. Demi responded with "This is not a game. Children should not be exploited. They must be protected."

Perez Hilton hit back at that one with: "Ur daughter has been an actress in Bruce's films. You 2 have been exploiting Tallulah for quite some time."

In closing, Demi Moore is an idiot. We totally get why you'd want to beat the crap out of him, a la will.i.am, but way to call attention to Tallulah photos no one was talking about, and call out Perez in a forum where everyone can see it.

Whose side are you on?

This isn't as desperate as Adrianne Curry Tweeting a topless photo of herself.

Nor is it as lame as Miley Cyrus' constant pleas for attention and pity on Twitter.

Still, we'd have hoped that Kim Kardashian could think of more creative ways to make headlines than to post a lingerie-clad pic of herself on her account. The picture was released on the same day that Kim wrote of a piece of coffee cake:

"I had one bite to satisfy my craving, that was it! Coffee cake was yummy, but a moment on the lips is a life time on the hips!"

Ironic. Kardashian has also proven that a moment on all fours for Ray J is a life time on video.

Forget that Bluetooth headset. Jon Gosselin has gone truly high-tech and launched his official Twitter page. Hey, even the King of Pimps needs a running diary upon which to share far too much information no one needs to know.

Now we can see photos like this around the clock ...

Yes. Our lives would be less enriched had we not seen, and subsequently shared, this photo of Jon Gosselin playing slot machines on his trip to Las Vegas.

God bless Twitter. Other scintillating updates from Jon's weekend trip:

• "On the plane, can't wait to see the kids!!! The sugar factory goodies are on the way, they'll flip when they see it all."
• "Hey everyone, today marks the official start of the Jon Gosselin Children's Foundation- very excited to start this chapter of my life"
• "Sugar Factory hooked me up with Mady and Cara's favorite candy. Definitely looking forward to seeing those smiles when I get home!"
• "Cooling off from the 110 degree weather with some AC and ViB Vacation In a Bottle (easily the most refreshing part of my day!)"
• "Amazing day with my friends and family (thanks Mom) at Wet Republic! Thanks to the MGM Grand Hotel, this place rocks!"

We know, it's really boring. Where are the risque shots of you in bed with Hailey Glassman, Jon? Don't you know that Twitter is for narcissists in love with their own celebrity and fans who enjoy following slow-moving train wrecks?

Give the people what they want!

Might Miley Cyrus have competition as the world's most annoying Tweeter?

She might. English songbird Lily Allen said her boyfriend Sam Cooper gets "really, really angry" about the amount of time she spends on Twitter.

The "Smile" singer is one of the site's biggest celebrity fans, regularly posting updates and photos from tours and using it to give away tickets.

At least those are somewhat practical marketing applications of Twitter for Allen's music ... unlike shameless, desperate narcissists like Adrianne Curry.

Just the same, Lily's beau Sam Cooper is reportedly not a fan.

LILY ALLEN: Part-time singer, full-time Twitterer.

The 24-year-old posted Tweets of support for the England football team, and ended up as a guest on BBC radio's Test Match Special as a result.

But she told Absolute Radio that Sam Cooper, her builder boyfriend, has had very little patience with her fondness for the "social networking" site.

"My boyfriend gets really, really angry with me," Lily confesses. "Because he's just like 'I just want to spend some time with you, do we have to have one and a half million people in the room with us at the same time?'"

And there's no doubt who wins that battle, Allen says:

"I'm like 'Yes, shut up.'"

It's official: Adrianne Curry can no longer refer to herself as a "celebrity."

Once someone resorts to attention-getting stunts that would even make Miley Cyrus ashamed, she should just throw in the desperate towel. It's over.

Curry Tweeted the photo below to her followers this week. It's a shot of her topless. Apparently Playboy wouldn't accept her calls; Dancing with the Stars turned her down. This is the only way she knows how to remain remotely relevant.

It's both sad and hilarious. Check out the half-naked self-portrait after the jump.

After forming a lasting, near-tragic bond over their improbably survival of a plane crash that claimed the lives of four people last September, Blink 182's Travis Barker can't believe his close friend DJ AM is gone just one year later.

While he is normally known for his bitter online rants about his former wife Shanna Moakler, Barker's most recent Tweets were heartfelt and sad ...

"Don't know how i am gonna play 2night but i am for AM. My brother is gone.i love u and miss u, i'll never forget all the good times we had."

"I'll never forget everything we've been thru and every time i play the drums i'll think of you," Barker's Twitter tribute continued. "U were an amazing friend/DJ/human being. Rest In Peace my brother, this really f--ks me up."

Travis Barker and DJ AM prior to the South Carolina plane crash that they both narrowly survived almost a year ago - and which bonded the pair ever since.

The famed drummer has reunited with his longtime band Blink 182 and is on tour with the group, which took the stage in Hartford, Conn., last night.

Blink 182 paid tribute to DJ AM during an encore at their Saturday concert, Rolling Stone reports. When Barker would normally perform a drum solo, the band held an onstage vigil while all of the lights in the arena were turned off.

AM, real name Adam Goldstein, 36, was found dead Friday afternoon. The cause of his death is not yet known, but some say his recent breakup with Hayley Wood may have caused the addict-turned-straight-arrow DJ to relapse.

Here's a video of Blink 182's DJ AM tribute in concert ...

Blink 182 DJ AM Tribute

Following the murder of Jasmine Fiore, likely at the hands of her husband Ryan Jenkins, his former reality TV love interest Megan Hauserman has remained quiet.

Hauserman, a self-proclaimed "aspiring trophy wife," starred on Megan Wants a Millionaire, which was airing on VH1 until it was yanked amid the Fiore tragedy.

Ryan Jenkins was reportedly a finalist on the show. After getting kicked off, he went to Las Vegas, met Jasmine Fiore and married her less than a week later.

One can see why VH1 pulled the plug on Megan Wants a Millionaire (and the third season of I Love Money, which hadn't yet aired and Jenkins reportedly won).

In any event, Megan Hauserman the following appreciative Tweet to her fans today as she copes with the aftermath of the tragedy that played out last week: