by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Attention, Twi-Hards:

We know Eclipse comes out on June 30. And New Moon will be released on DVD on March 20.

But this is far too long to wait for more Twilight Saga madness. That's why you should mark your calendar for March 16.

That's the date on which 350,000 copies of Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Vol. 1 hits stores. It's also the date on which stores get sold out of 350,000 copies of Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Vol. 1.

The comic book-like tome contains drawings of Twilight characters by artist Young Kim. Said Meyer of the graphic novel:

"I was definitely involved. I didn’t do the original “script” for the book, so to speak.  But when I got the dialogue with the images, I did a lot of tinkering... I asked for missing scenes to be inserted.  For example, the conversation in the car that Bella and Edward have after she faints in Biology."

We're all familiar with that one, aren't we?

So, how does Kim envision Edward and Bella? They look a bit different from Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart on page. Take a look and let us know: will you purchase this book?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Note to fans of the Twilight Saga: Robert Pattinson doesn't actually live in Forks, Washington. Neither does Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner or any member of the cast.

Still, the geniuses behind reality TV have decided to set a new show in the town simply because events from the Twilight saga unfold there.

Said producer Zig Gauthier about casting for the untitled project:

“We’re not going up there looking to cast people who have claims to the supernatural. We want people who have a true connection to the community. We want to avoid people with outlandish claims.”

Okay. So then what's the goal of this seemingly inane idea?

"To peel back another layer of the onion that is Forks and see what the real people there are like," Gauthier said.

Forks, Washington

Therefore, to sum up: Plans are underway for a reality show about random people that live in a town only known nationally because a fictional book series is based there.

Will you watch this nonsense?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Ding! Ding!

It's about to be on between Twi Hards and Diary Devotees.

A few weeks after New Moon broke box office records, and The Vampire Diaries debuted to strong ratings on The CW, at least one journalist is taking a controversial side: he says the latter franchise is superior to the former.

Why does Ari Karpel of The New York Post prefer Paul Wesley and company to Robert Pattinson and his much-hyped saga? He lists a few reasons:

1. Blood and gore: The Vampire Diaries is "a more traditional vampire horror tale than Twilight," Karpel writes, as the movie series focuses more on romance than murder. After all, he points out, the Cullens don't even have fangs.

The Salvatore brothers, conversely, flash theirs on every episode. Moreover, there's a growing body count in the fictional CW town of Mystic Falls. Gruesome deaths, not longing stares, are around every corner.

Promo Poster

2. SEX! Simply put, characters have it on The Vampire Diaries. So far, this isn't the case in the Twilight Saga, as the newspaper accuses that franchise of pushing "falsely neutered innocence."

3. Contrasting heroines: Bella is a blank slate, Karpel says. Fans can project themselves on her, but she has no actual personality. Elena, however "sets an example for young girls as a strong-minded woman." She asks questions and appears truly horrified, as most people would, upon learning Stefan is a vampire.

The Vampire Diaries also came first, of course. While people accuse the show of ripping off the movie, it's actually based on a book series that preceded Stephenie Meyer's collection.

There you have it. Agree? Disagree? Weigh in below with your thoughts on these fang-based franchises: Which do you prefer?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Jealous much, Miley Cyrus?

Interview by a Cleveland radio station prior to a concert on Sunday night, Cyrus was asked about the Twilight Saga.

She could have simply said she's never read the books or seen a movie in the franchise. Instead, the singer chose to thumb her nose at the series:

"I've never seen [Twilight], nor will I. I don't believe in it. I don't like vampires, I don't like the wolf that pops out of the screen when I'm watching TV at night, I don't want anything to do with it. I don't like the shirts, I don't like any of it."

Jeez, Miles. You don't believe in Twilight?!? We're sorry to report: it exists.

Moreover, that wolf has a name: Taylor Lautner. And, finally, don't worry: no one asking you to have anything to do with it. It was just a question.

  • Fake Miles
  • Pretty Patt

Choose a side in this feud:

 

Watch Miley dig herself into an enormous hole after this article's jump.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Jessica Biel co-stars in Valentine's Day with a number of A-listers, including Taylor Lautner.

In a recent interview with MTV, the beautiful actress made it sound like this won't be the last time she's paired with Lautner on the big screen.

Asked if she's consider joining the cast of the Twilight Saga, Biel didn't rule it out. She said:

"Well, I'm clearly familiar with the films... I know the idea of what it's about. I mean, maybe [I'd be in the next 'Twilight' film]. That would be lovely. I am not opposed to playing a vampire."

Of course, Biel hasn't been asked to play one, either. But is this a cast addition you'd want to see? Who would she play in the franchise?

Picture of Jessica Biel

Do you want Jessica Biel to join the cast of the Twilight Saga?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In the fantasy world of many Twilight Saga fans, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart would be married, with oodles of adorable babies on the way.

However, despite what some celebrity gossip tabloids tell you, this isn't happening.

But Christian Serratos - who plays Angela Weber in the film franchise - told E! News last night that Edward and Bella fans will be quite excited over the hot and heavy action in the movies ahead.

"I doubt it'll go R-rated," Serratos said. "But I think everyone is going to get exactly what they want [in the sequels]."

Hmmm... if that were the case, Eclipse would be rated NC-17. (Of course, fans anxious for that sort of Twilight Saga action are actually in luck, thanks to Jenna Haze!)

A sexy sign of things to come, Edward plants a long, wet one on Bella in this shot form New Moon.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

What's the next best thing to Robert Pattinson nude?

Okay, it's Robert Pattinson shirtless.

But what's the next best thing after this that will satisfy Twilight Saga fans? That's easy:

An adult film actor pretending to be Pattinson's Edward Cullen and making love on camera to a faux Bella Swan.

That's exactly what fans can expect in This Isn't Twilight: The XXX Parody, a pornographic movie that officially proves Twlight has gone mainstream. The flick will be released on October 15.

Which movie are you more likely to see?

Taking over the role of Bella from Kristen Stewart will be Jenna Haze, the Female Performer of the Year at the 2009 AVN Awards. She has anchored such mature fare as Spunk'd 6, Load Warrios and This Ain't the Munsters XXX.

For the record, the first 29 installments of This Ain't the Munsters were much better.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

All week long, we've been pitting The Vampire Diaries against the Twilight Saga in a round of analytical comparisons.

Now, producer Kevin Williamson - who created Dawson's Creek and wrote the movie Scream - is speaking out about the upcoming CW series. He wants potential viewers to know that it's anything but a Twilight rip-off.

"It's not just about vampires, its about all sorts of things that go bump in the night, Williamson told MTV. "I kept reading [the books] and I realized, this isn't Twilight at all, this is actually where a girl falls in love with a vampire, but that's where [the comparison] ends. It's like a modern-day sexy Dark Shadows and that was appealing."

The Vampire Diaries premieres on September 10 on The CW. We'll tune in for it. Will you?

Racy Vampire Diaries Ad

When The Vampire Diaries takes on New Moon, everyone that likes hot guys, beautiful gals and forbidden romance wins!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

As we've chronicled in two other investigative specials this week, the upcoming CW series The Vampire Diaries shares many similarities with the Twilight Saga.

While both franchises focus on vampires and love triangles, however, there are also significant differences. Compare and contrast Jacob Black with Damon Salvatore to see what we mean.

Now, in the third part of this series, we take a look at the two high school hotties that are in such demand: it's Bella Swan vs. Elena Gilbert!

SIMILARITIES:

  • Both are crushed on by a vampire; (spoiler alert!) eventually become more than human; have dark hair; are 17 years old when their respective franchises begin.

DIFFERENCES:

  • Bella lives with her father, Elena's parents are dead; Bella has a private mind (so Edward cannot read her thoughts), Elena pours everything out into a journal; Bella is an only child, Elena has a younger brother.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Welcome to the second part of our investigative series into similarities and differences between the Twilight Saga and The Vampire Diaries.

Almost all readers are familiar with the former, of course, as Robert Pattinson and company have become an international sensation.

But what to make of the latter? Fans have been wondering if the upcoming CW drama is merely a rip-off of the Twilight franchise. As mentioned in yesterday's analysis of Edward Cullen vs. Stefan Salavtore, that answer is no; The Vampire Diaries novels were actually published long before Twilight.

  • Twilight Saga
  • Vampire Diaries Book

Now, it's on to part two of this special inside look: Jacob Black vs. Damon Salvatore!

SIMILARITIES:

  • Both have dark hair and dark features; are fiercely loyal; are considered the third point of an unusual love triangle; possess a unique family history.
As Damon

DIFFERENCES:

  • Jacob is a werewolf, Damon is a vampire; Jacob is a different species than his rival Edward, Damon is the brother of his rival Stefan; Jacob has a long mane, Damon has short hair.

Coming tomorrow: Part III - Bella Swan vs. Elena Gilbert!

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