by Hilton Hater at . Comments

A horrendous final season of True Blood appropriately ended with a mind-numbingly terrible, painfully insulting concluding installment on Sunday.

Jessica and Hoyt got married... because fans everywhere had been clamoring for these two to get back together, right?

(In actuality, they got married because a dying Bill selfishly wanted to give his former progeny away, which actually seems appropriate as a reason because, based on show history, they definitely didn't get married out of true love or anything.)

Bill on True Blood Finale

Eric and Pam killed the Yakuza and went into New Blood business together, striking it VERY rich we learned by episode's end, while keeping Sarah Newlin alive just to torture her as someone to snack on at Fangtasia.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We're nearly there, people.

We're now just one episode away from the True Blood Season 7 finale and the end of what has easily been the worst run of episodes in modern television history. 

And True Blood Season 7 Episode 9 most definitely added to that dishonor.

Eric Northman Picture

With the exception of Sam, who left town in order to be with Nicole and their impending baby, it was an hour full of selfish decisions.

(And even Sam doesn't get off totally free, considering he just left a note for Sookie instead of actually talking to his good friend.)

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

So, let us get this straight...

On True Blood Season 7 Episode 7, Sookie called in a doctor to examine Bill. She got scared of Sookie's bloodline... which prompted Sookie to call in her fairy godfather... who ate some spaghetti... who promised to help Sookie... who then told her he could NOT help her... which inspired Sookie to jump back into bed with Bill.

While many viewers may be celebrating the naked reunion of Bookie, a great many others may be sharing in our consternation over just how boring and filler-filled True Blood Season 7 has become.

Bill with Jessica

Does a single person out there care about Bill's pointless flashbacks? Is there any doubt the writers are using these each week because they literally just need time to fill?

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

If True Blood Season 7 Episode 5 wasn't the worst hour in the history of television, it was at the very least the worst hour in the history of this HBO drama.

It was horribly boring, nothing much happened, what did happened didn't make much sense, oh... and Lettie Mae is somehow still around!

Seriously, we never thought we'd be pushing for the return of Tara, but her mother is actually a million times more annoying. That's an impressive/awful feat to pull off.

Willa vs. Eric

What else made this episode so incredibly horrible?

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

True Blood concluded one of the most boring and pointless episodes in series history with a shocking death tonight:

Rest in peace, Alcide Herveaux.

The werewolf was shot and killed after coming to Sookie's rescue after one of her dumbest plans to date, sitting in a field, waiting to be taken by the infected vampires... while annoyingly talking to Bill (sitting in a tree, about 20 feet away) the entire time.

Alcide, of course, spent a majority of the past couple seasons in his own storyline and then the series quickly got him together with Sookie to conclude True Blood Season 6 and then it fast-forwarded the action six months and asked viewers to somehow buy into this relationship.

So. Yeah. Hard to say we were much infested in Alcide's life or death, especially not when he was wearing a shirt.

Sitting Sookie

But at least Alcide's murder took us by surprise. At least it gave us something to talk about with friends.

The rest of True Blood Season 7 Episode 3 nearly made us fall asleep.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

One thing was made very clear on True Blood Season 7 Episode 2:

There will be no government bailout for Bon Temps, Louisiana.

No, the car industry in that town isn't dying... but its citizens have been, due to the influx of infected vampires on the loose. And Sookie and company discovered this week that FEMA was nowhere to be found when the neighboring city was overrun by these creatures.

Best of luck, Bon Tempers.

Visit to the Neighbors

And best of luck, Alcide. You may wanna just pack it in now, relationship-wise.

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by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

Fans of True Blood may have noticed that the character of James had been recast for the seventh season premiere, with Luke Grimes being replaced by Nathan Parsons.

So why such an unexpected shake-up in the show's final season?

Well, according Buzzfeed, unidentified sources who worked on the series claim that Grimes insisted he be let out of his contract after learning that some of the unexpected gay sex in True Blood season 7 would be performed by his character.

Luke Grimes as James

Sources say Grimes "objected to the first few scripts he received," as they revealed that his character will be involved in a same sex relationship with Nelsan Ellis' Lafayette.

Grimes' agent denies the allegation claiming the actor was forced to exit the series due to a scheduling conflict.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Forget the True Blood Season 7 premiere, which aired last night on HBO and which featured a major character death before the opening credits even rolled.

And let’s focus instead on “True Mud,” a Sesame Street parody that bills itself as the “yuckiest show on television."

It centers on a grouch who just wants mud... you know, like a a vampire who would desire blood.

Yes, there's a lot of rhyming involved. But also a lot of humor and, of course, some education to boot. Check it out now:

Previously, Sesame Street has parodied Sons of Anarchy and The Hunger Games.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

So... who will be next?

On the shocking True Blood Season 7 premiere last night, Sookie lost her best friend - in the show's opening 30 seconds!

Prior to the credits even rolling, the final season of this HBO epic kicked off with infected vampire killing Tara and making their presence strongly felt in Bon Temps.

Will things get any better? Not before they get worse, that much is made clear in the following promo, which teases more town chaos to come this summer, along with kidnappings, killings and a possible reconciliation.

Which couple could be getting back together? Is Eric really gone? Will Lafayette find happiness?

We'll find out as the next few Sundays unfold. But you can get a long look ahead below via the following network teaser:

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

We're off and running killing on True Blood Season 7.

The series set a personal record for Shortest Period of Time Elapsing in an Episode Before Murdering a Main Character, as Tara was destroyed before the opening credits even rolled.

Yes, TARA IS DEAD. Finally! For good this time... we hope!

It must be asked: was a single viewers upset by this development?

True Blood Season 7 Poster

Sookie, of course, took Tara's death (at the hands of an attacking set of infected vampires) very hard, blowing off Alcide after she read his thoughts and he, along with the rest of Bon Temps, blamed Sookie for this Hep V outbreak.

Seems like a bit of a stretch, doesn't it?

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