by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

If you've been watching The Real Housewives of Miami this season, then you know Miss Elaine Lancaster, James Davis' attention getting alter ego.

Elaine and I recently chatted about her becoming Miami's most famous drag queen, what other show she'd love to land on, and the real deal behind her feud with Housewives co-star Marysol Patton.

Elaine Lancaster Picture

THG: Tell me your story. I've read that you worked as a fashion model, that you sold high end home furnishings in Texas and that you've got a degree in American history.  How did any of that lead you to becoming a famous drag queen?

EL: I don't think it did. I think it was just a holding pattern for me until I was able to find my focus and head for it but it's always good to have an academic background to pursue anything in life.

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by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami break out the "Bras and Brawls" as they head to a charity event that looks more like a high end brothel. We recap whose outfit was devilishly inspired and who wore their grandma's lingerie in our THG +/- review.

Joanna's Fur Campaign

Move over Lea. Lisa's throwing her own charity event and what better way to raise awareness for breast cancer than to throw a lingerie party for 800 of your closest friends. Plus 15. It's an inspired idea, even if the event did resemble a high end brothel.

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by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami turn on one of their own as "Sexting Candles" finds the feuds heating up and someone's love life hitting a deep freeze.

We break down all the accusations, attacks, and surprising admissions in THG's +/- recap!

Miami Musical Chairs

It's yet another Miami event where the ladies hit the red carpet, drink, and socialize.

Didn't we see them do that last week, and the week before that, and the week before…oh nevermind.  Minus 10. Only Miami Housewives can make the glamorous life look boring.

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by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami's latest episode "Eager Beaver" has me convinced that the most annoying women involved in this franchise all live in Florida.

We recap all of the bitch slapping and back stabbing in our THG +/- review.

Beat Up on Karent Day

Apparently it's lets bitch about Karent night because everyone has something to say and admittedly, she's pretty good at giving them ammunition.

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by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami gossip, back stab, and cry "She Beat me to the Tweet!"  We break down all of the "nice nasties" in our THG +/- recap.

I have one thought when I watch this show. Miami is gorgeous. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the women, at least not after you spend some time with them.

Adriana's Lament

After last week's debacle at Mynt, Romain and Joanna need to talk.  He's fed up, with reason.  When Joanna plays it off like it was only because she was drunk, Romain shoots back "Maybe you're drunk every day."  Minus 12.  That's a big problem.

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by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami starts off with sun and fun and palm trees and ends with "A Mynt Meltdown" and one hot mess of a night. We recap all the tears, fears and accusations in our THG +/- review.

Daysy's Job

The help plays a big role in the lives of the Housewives and sometimes it's hard to figure out who works for whom.  Lisa's housekeeper/assistant/confidante Daysy's main job seems to be to keep Lisa company.  Minus 8.  How much do they pay her for that?

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by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami are back with "Text, Lies, and Your Smile Is Fake." We recap the odd confrontations, commitment issues, and pirate ships in THG's +/- review.

Well, fake smiles hardly seem like an issue when so many other body parts are fake on the Housewives of Miami but we'll skip over that and head right to our update.

Elsa survived her collapse at the Food and Wine festival.  She was sent home from the hospital with a clean bill of health.  Plus 7.  Her only concern was whether she looked like a lady when she hit the floor.

Lisa & Lenny

Adriana drops in for a visit and Elsa gives her an opinion on her relationship with Frederic.  Frederic loves her more than she loves him and Adriana's still so scarred from her first marriage that she's not ready to get married.

Plus 10 because whether it's her psychic abilities or old fashioned common sense, Elsa is spot on.

Elsa's advice however leaves something to be desired.  She tells Adriana to put her head on the right pillow and that's the one that's full of money.  Minus 8.  Money helps but it won't keep you from getting your heart crushed.

Later Frederic tells her he wants to marry her now but he's willing to wait. He really seems to love her. Adriana says she wants to wait until the boat is finished. 

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by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami returned with a  "A Tale of Two Miamis." I'm not sure even one was necessary. but let's recap all of the plastic faces and sleazy boyfriends in our THG +/- review.

Admittedly, I never watched season one of The Real Housewives of Miami. Apparently I'm not the only one. I believe it was one of the lowest rated Housewives premieres ever. 

And yet, we are blessed with a revamped season two. Minus 8.

I thought the Real Housewives of Orange County and Beverly Hills had cornered the market on plastic. Boy, was I wrong. Step aside California. The ladies of Miami are lifted, tucked, botoxed, and enhanced beyond your wildest dreams or my nightmares. Minus 12. The shine off of all of that plastic is blinding me.

What Happened To Elsa?

Marysol's mother, Elsa is the obvious horror story.  What happened to this poor woman?  Was she a plastic surgery addict?  She says it was a surgical accident but can one bad surgery cause that?  Too bad her psychic powers couldn't tell her to find a better surgeon.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami will return to Bravo on September 13.

But Season 2 of this franchise will feature a number of new faces. Among them:

  • Lisa Hochstein, the wife of Dr. Lenny Hochstein. This 29-year old has posted in Playboy three times.
  • Joanna Krupa, a Polish model who has also posted in Playboy and appeared on Dancing with the Stars, Las Vegas and CSI.
  • Ana Quincoces, a lawyer, mother of two, celebrity chef and cookbook author.
  • Karent Sierra, a dentist who resides with her retired parents and is dating  telenovela star Rodolfo Jiménez.

These likely-to-be obnoxious women will join Lea Black, Adriana de Moura and Marysol Patton for a run of scripted nonsense this fall.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It's unclear if anyone actually watched season one, but The Real Housewives of Miami will be back, Bravo confirmed yesterday.

The lowest rated edition of this franchise has earned a second season pick-up, although only three original cast members - Marysol Patton, Lea Black and Adriana De Moura - will return when production begins next month.

New additions are expected to be announced any week now.

The Real Housewives of Miami Cast Pic

"The Real Housewives of Miami follows a group of the most beautiful, connected and influential women in town who work hard and play harder," reads a Bravo press release. "This season will give viewers an inside look at these aspirational women as they juggle family, work and the fabulous social scene in a city where the food is spicy, and the drama is even spicier."

Not really, of course. With no arrests, trips to rehab or suicides by any estranged husbands, life in Miami - for viewers at least - has been decidedly mild so far.

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