by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of Miami's latest episode "Eager Beaver" has me convinced that the most annoying women involved in this franchise all live in Florida.

We recap all of the bitch slapping and back stabbing in our THG +/- review.

Beat Up on Karent Day

Apparently it's lets bitch about Karent night because everyone has something to say and admittedly, she's pretty good at giving them ammunition.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of Miami gossip, back stab, and cry "She Beat me to the Tweet!"  We break down all of the "nice nasties" in our THG +/- recap.

I have one thought when I watch this show. Miami is gorgeous. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the women, at least not after you spend some time with them.

Adriana's Lament

After last week's debacle at Mynt, Romain and Joanna need to talk.  He's fed up, with reason.  When Joanna plays it off like it was only because she was drunk, Romain shoots back "Maybe you're drunk every day."  Minus 12.  That's a big problem.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of Miami starts off with sun and fun and palm trees and ends with "A Mynt Meltdown" and one hot mess of a night. We recap all the tears, fears and accusations in our THG +/- review.

Daysy's Job

The help plays a big role in the lives of the Housewives and sometimes it's hard to figure out who works for whom.  Lisa's housekeeper/assistant/confidante Daysy's main job seems to be to keep Lisa company.  Minus 8.  How much do they pay her for that?

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of Miami are back with "Text, Lies, and Your Smile Is Fake." We recap the odd confrontations, commitment issues, and pirate ships in THG's +/- review.

Well, fake smiles hardly seem like an issue when so many other body parts are fake on the Housewives of Miami but we'll skip over that and head right to our update.

Elsa survived her collapse at the Food and Wine festival.  She was sent home from the hospital with a clean bill of health.  Plus 7.  Her only concern was whether she looked like a lady when she hit the floor.

Lisa & Lenny

Adriana drops in for a visit and Elsa gives her an opinion on her relationship with Frederic.  Frederic loves her more than she loves him and Adriana's still so scarred from her first marriage that she's not ready to get married.

Plus 10 because whether it's her psychic abilities or old fashioned common sense, Elsa is spot on.

Elsa's advice however leaves something to be desired.  She tells Adriana to put her head on the right pillow and that's the one that's full of money.  Minus 8.  Money helps but it won't keep you from getting your heart crushed.

Later Frederic tells her he wants to marry her now but he's willing to wait. He really seems to love her. Adriana says she wants to wait until the boat is finished. 

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of Miami returned with a  "A Tale of Two Miamis." I'm not sure even one was necessary. but let's recap all of the plastic faces and sleazy boyfriends in our THG +/- review.

Admittedly, I never watched season one of The Real Housewives of Miami. Apparently I'm not the only one. I believe it was one of the lowest rated Housewives premieres ever. 

And yet, we are blessed with a revamped season two. Minus 8.

I thought the Real Housewives of Orange County and Beverly Hills had cornered the market on plastic. Boy, was I wrong. Step aside California. The ladies of Miami are lifted, tucked, botoxed, and enhanced beyond your wildest dreams or my nightmares. Minus 12. The shine off of all of that plastic is blinding me.

What Happened To Elsa?

Marysol's mother, Elsa is the obvious horror story.  What happened to this poor woman?  Was she a plastic surgery addict?  She says it was a surgical accident but can one bad surgery cause that?  Too bad her psychic powers couldn't tell her to find a better surgeon.

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by Hilton Hater at

The Real Housewives of Miami will return to Bravo on September 13.

But Season 2 of this franchise will feature a number of new faces. Among them:

  • Lisa Hochstein, the wife of Dr. Lenny Hochstein. This 29-year old has posted in Playboy three times.
  • Joanna Krupa, a Polish model who has also posted in Playboy and appeared on Dancing with the Stars, Las Vegas and CSI.
  • Ana Quincoces, a lawyer, mother of two, celebrity chef and cookbook author.
  • Karent Sierra, a dentist who resides with her retired parents and is dating  telenovela star Rodolfo Jiménez.

These likely-to-be obnoxious women will join Lea Black, Adriana de Moura and Marysol Patton for a run of scripted nonsense this fall.

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by Hilton Hater at

It's unclear if anyone actually watched season one, but The Real Housewives of Miami will be back, Bravo confirmed yesterday.

The lowest rated edition of this franchise has earned a second season pick-up, although only three original cast members - Marysol Patton, Lea Black and Adriana De Moura - will return when production begins next month.

New additions are expected to be announced any week now.

The Real Housewives of Miami Cast Pic

"The Real Housewives of Miami follows a group of the most beautiful, connected and influential women in town who work hard and play harder," reads a Bravo press release. "This season will give viewers an inside look at these aspirational women as they juggle family, work and the fabulous social scene in a city where the food is spicy, and the drama is even spicier."

Not really, of course. With no arrests, trips to rehab or suicides by any estranged husbands, life in Miami - for viewers at least - has been decidedly mild so far.

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by Hilton Hater at

In case the fact that Snooki has 2.6 million Twitter followers is not enough to shake your faith in humanity, consider this:

Multiple cast members from the Real Housewives franchise are going on tour, asking fans to dole out their hard-earned money for reasons completely unknown. Tickets go on sale August 19 and start - start! - at $49.50.

All the The Real Housewives of New Jersey

"Bravo viewers like to truly engage in the shows they are passionate about," says Ellen Stone, Bravo’s senior vice president of marketing in a statement. "With The Real Housewives Live Tour, we are able to give our fans a unique, hands-on experience with their favorite cast members across franchises that they can't experience anywhere else."

Check out the complete, incomprehensible tour schedule below.

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by Free Britney at

After each episode ends on Tuesday nights, we vow never to watch these Miami broads again. And yet, here we are.

It's as if we're saying to Andy Cohen, "Show us how much worse it can get. We sit here week after week waiting for this show to measure up to the other franchises, and each time we're disappointed."

I believe this series isn't working because Miami does not appeal to the masses.

The Real Housewives formula is almost flawless. Almost. The production company must be careful to select a city based on what they believe their readers will enjoy.

Beverly Hills was an obvious choice (albeit a little late).

Naturally we adore (and most of the time loathe) our Orange County bimbos and we find the tri-state dopes challenging.

Atlanta and D.C. we could take or leave, but they're stronger than Miami. Bravo has tried to entice us before with shows like Miami Social and we were just bored.

Second time around ain't much better; the women are either vapid and childish, or obnoxiously self-righteous. The strange part is that most of the Housewives are like this, but we just can't seem to get along with the Miami chicks.

Is it because we can't relate? Or is it because they just bug us so much more than the other women? I still haven't found the answer, but I spend each Tuesday wondering why I don't jive with the cast of The Real Housewives Of Miami.

Larsa is becoming more and more unlikable. She tricked us into thinking she was down-to-earth in the premiere, but we quickly caught on after a few episodes.

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by Hilton Hater at

No cast member has accused her ex-husband of raping her on a bed of broken glass, nor as any talked incessantly about her divorce from a famous sitcom star.

But, not to worry, Real Housewives of Miami fans, Lea Black knows how to make a few headlines for her Bravo franchise.

She has penned an editorial for The Huffington Post in which she sets out to prove that she's "politically active." After detailing her experience in the field, Black goes on to trash Sarah Palin, offering advice "from one reality star to another: Save the "domestic" drama for your reality show!"

Lea Black Photo

"Sarah Palin is the sideshow in the circus that everyone wants to watch, but that most people don't take seriously," Black told E! News about the basis for her article. "The Republican Party has become a circus and she's the sideshow act that everyone likes to laugh at, not with."

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