by Nosy Neighbor at

the Real Housewives of Miami performed some old "Black Magic" this week but it still wasn't enough to keep me from yawning through this episode.

We'll recap the marriage spin and boring sex in our THG +/- review.

The Happy Couple

A couple of weeks ago Romain bought Joanna a car. Now he's bought her a house. He obviously wants to get married…but not have sex?

Minus 17. Is anyone else confused? Romain and Joanna haven't had sex in six weeks and that's OK with him. Seriously? He even turns our down for a quickie in their new home.  

So what's the deal. Is he gay? Too tired from his mistress to want his fiancee?

Is he just not that into her? Or is he truly the romantic he claims to be and likes to take his time? Even if that's true, six weeks is a bit much, don't you think?

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of Miami was "Booby-Trapped" as one peacemaker tried for Kumbaya but failed miserably.

We recap all the drama, including whose sauce needs some added spice, in THG's +/- review.

No Chicken Cutlets

We picked up right where we left off as Adriana DeMoura Sidi stormed out of Lea Black's home yelling, "I'm done with your Draconian antics."

Plus 13. The line was so good it would have been a shame to let it die with last week's episode.

Joanna Krupa and Romain headed to a tennis match and talk about a crowd. Was there anyone else even there with them. No wonder Romain was afraid the players would hear them talking.

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by Hilton Hater at

Unlike the rumored Demi Lovato nude pics floating around the Internet, Adriana De Moura dons her birthday suit in the following photo... but this one is meant to go public.

The Real Housewives of Miami star is the latest Z-lister to bare almost all in the name of animal rights, lying naked in a bathtub in order to prove a point about whale cruelty.

Adriana De Moura Nude

Referring to of an orca at Miami Seaguarium that has been confined to a tank since 1970, De Moura asks in the poster:

"Could you live in a bathtub for 40 years?"

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of Miami had to deal with the whirlwind which was "Hurricane Adriana" and we recap all of the lies and craziness in our THG +/- review.
 

Bridezilla Alert

In between dress shopping and warding off Frederic's advances, Adriana brought the crazy. She might still be mad at Frederic…and already married to him.

But that certainly doesn't mean she's not planning a wedding. Plus 20.

Speaking of which, why is she so ticked off at Frederic anyway. He called off their wedding five years ago. Why all the drama now?

Or is this all a big show for the cameras who were conveniently let into their bedroom to film her snubbing her hubby? Minus 8.

And she's not so upset that she won't marry him…again. But this time she wants angels flying in from heaven and hot air balloons landing on top of a church or some such nonsense.

All I know is that her wedding planner is going to charge her a fortune to pull this off but at least we should all be wildly entertained by the spectacle.  Plus 30.

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by Hilton Hater at

Fun in the sun? More like betrayals on the beach!

Following The Real Housewives of Miami Season 3 premiere, it's clear that tension will be at a premium between all members of the cast, a fact backed up by Joanna Krupa in a new interview with Us Weekly.

"The dynamic that's gonna change from last season to this season is [that] a lot of friendships fall apart that you thought were strong, like Lea's and Adriana's," Krupa teases. "Lisa and I got into it as well. So [there are] a lot of changes in friendships. A lot of lies and betrayals."

Lea Black, meanwhile, says she'd prefer to remain out of any and all conflicts. However...

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of Miami returned for Season 3 with "Til Lies Do Us Part" and we recap all of the cast shakeups and marriage fake outs in our THG +/- review.

Cleavage Alert

It was out with the old and in with the not so new as dentist to the stars Karent Sierra was no where to be found and Alexia Echevarria was added on as a full time cast member.

Plus 10 because although Karent and her long distance Latin lover were interesting, Alexia's life looks like a train wreck. Love it or hate it I'm sure it will never be dull.

And given Alexia's family life I was surprised she signed on this season. Her one son is still recovering from a traumatic brain injury while the other is going around beating up the homeless and video taping it for kicks and giggles.

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by Hilton Hater at

On August 12, The Real Housewives of Miami Season 3 will premiere on Bravo.

Viewers of the reality series can expect a stream of cat fights, wedding planning, drama.. and a bit less of Marysol Patton.

Along with her entertaining mother, the star confirmed this week to Radar Online that she's been demoted to a recurring member of the program's cast.

“I’m not in the main title shot with the photos with the girls, but I film just as much as I did when I was a regular housewife,” Patton says. “So, I guess it will come down to the editing.”

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by Hilton Hater at

Ready for more fun in the sun?

How about more drama, nudity and arguments over pre-nuptial agreements... in the sun?

Bravo has released an extended trailer for The Real Housewives of Miami Season 3 and it's clear this summer will focus on Joanna Krupa and Adriana De Moura, their feud and their wedding plans.

Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein and Alexia Echevarria will all return for the season, while Marysol Patton and Ana Quincoces will merely recur.

Prepare for new episodes on August 12 and watch the network teaser now:

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by Hilton Hater at

Be warned, Internet users: Lisa Hochstein is on the war path.

This Real Housewives of Miami cast member is suing a woman named Jessica Lederman for writing in the Comments section of a website that the reality star "was an escort who also did soft porn in Vegas."

Lisa Hochstein Picture

Hochstein denies this allegation and says her her lawsuit that she suffered "severe emotional distress" as a result of the remark. It allegedly ruined her reputation and threatened both her employment… and her social life.

She is asking for over $15,000 in damages.

In related news, Lisa Hochstein is a beautiful woman who deserves to be treated with respect. Don't you agree, readers?

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of Miami come back for the second and thankfully, the final "Reunion" show of the season because who can get enough of women dressed in sequins screeching obscenities at one another from cushy sofas?

We run down all the rehashing and rumors in THG's +/- recap!

The Evil Side

We jump back in to the fight between Adriana and Joanna. Adriana claims Joe Francis gave her the whole sordid scoop and Joanna's a whore. Minus 15.

Well, if Joe Francis said it how could it not be true?

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