Mary-Kate Olsen
Gossip

Looks like the Olsen Twins are on an athletic kick of late. No, not playing sports themselves. Those anorexic waifs would faint in about two seconds.

They're apparently both dating athletes, however!

We've talked at length already this week about Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong reportedly doing the horizontal mambo. Or at least having drinks.

In any case, now it's high time her twin, Mary-Kate Olsen, got herself a new athletic supporter - and she has, in New York Rangers hockey player Sean Avery!

Avery, who was previously linked to Elisha Cuthbert and rumored to be the subject of Justin Timberlake's hit "What Comes Around Goes Around," has reportedly been seen squiring Mary-Kate Olsen all over the Big Apple (that's New York City).

Sean Avery: Hot hockey lovin' for Mary-Kate Olsen?

Poor Max Snow. But good for Mary-Kate Olsen. Sean Avery definitely knows a thing or two about lining up on top of the crease and trying to slip one between the pads.

Move over Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia. You Heroes hotties aren't the only the only TV co-stars to blatantly lie and say you're not dating!

"It's not true," says Weeds star Hunter Parrish to Us Weekly regarding a Star Magazine report that he's dating new guest star, Mary-Kate Olsen.

Perhaps the Full House vet is just too frickin' weird talented.

"She's a very good actress," Hunter Parrish says. "And fun to work with... I'm sure we'll laugh about these rumors this week!"

Hunter Parrish and Mary-Kate Olsen: more than co-stars?

All we know is that Parrish is responsible for some great Weeds quotes, and that the show's star, Mary-Louise Parker, is one of our favorites. And that Mary-Kate really needs some sort of style consultant. Or a mirror to start!

CAUTION: The faint of heart should avert their eyes from the terrifying pic below. A heinous creature from the Jurassic has mysteriously emerged.

Here, we see Mary-Kate Olsen leaving Barneys New York, where she's out to prove that retail therapy is the best medicine... for osteoporosis.

Mary-Kate Olsen continues to sport her signature style: Grandma Chic.

When she finished up her shopping, the more well-known member of The Olsen Twins took off her cataract protective glasses and returned to the set of Weeds, where she will have a recurring role this season.

Before we had Hayden Panettiere, the Olsen Twins were the adorable child stars celebrity gossip sites loved to joke about turning 18.

Then they got sickly thin and began resembling ghosts, all the while dressing like a couple of freaks developing a love for trendy "fashion."

As she prepares for her debut this month on Showtime's dark comedy hit Weeds, Mary-Kate Olsen says she's actually in good health.

"Mentally, physically, I feel pretty on top of my game right now," she tells EW.com. "Talk to me next week, I don't know. Today, I feel good."

Mary-Kate, who turned 21 back in June, and who was treated for an eating disorder in 2004, admits she makes "conscious decisions every day of my life" to avoid being photographed by celebrity news people.

"I would love to be able to swim in the ocean in Malibu," she says. "But that is asking for a bikini shot. That's inviting something that I don't want to happen. I don't need to be on a 'Who's Skinny, Who's Fat, Who's Looking Healthy, Who's Not Eating?' list."

Boo. Fricking. Hoo.

A regular Keira Knightley, the skinny Olsen twin also avoids photographers by steering clear of certain stores known to be frequented by celebrities.

She prefers to keep her wispy, brittle frame close to her huge bodyguards and having pals over for dinner instead of meeting them at restaurants.

Yet as her first episode of Weeds approaches on September 17 (Olsen plays Tara, an innocent, Christian girl who's new to the town where the drug-dealing main character lives), she's excited to prove herself as an actress.

"To say that I got to work with those people - with Mary-Louise Parker - is a great thing," he said.

Seeing Mary-Louise Parker nude is a great thing, too.

Weeds marks a new direction for the former child star, who says that all the work she did growing up with her sister Ashley "wasn't about acting" but rather "about pleasing other people and making kids smile."

Lastly, Mary-Kate, who's been dating Max Snow for about a year, admits acting isn't always easy: "There's definitely been times when I just turned to people and said, 'I'm done, this is too much for me, this is too overwhelming.'"

Looking like the (poorly-dressed) living dead as always, the lovely Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen enjoyed a "full house" on their 21st birthday.

Literally.

More than 150 family members and friends, including Bob Saget, the rest of the cast and most of the crew from the television show Full House - the series that spawned their fame in their infancy - showed up to watch the twins blow.

Out the candles.

Big-time celebrity guests like Joaquin Phoenix and Olivier Martinez were on at the Olsen Twins' party, Us Weekly reports, to celebrate the big event.

Also there was Kirsten Dunst, who was dancing around with pals to the retro rock and roll tunes, which included Blondie and The Kinks. No word on whether or not Razorlight frontman Johnny Borrell, her shaggy purported boyfriend, was there.

Later, Mary-Kate Olsen was seen making out with boyfriend Max Snow, and the two later jumped into the pool together... with their clothes on.

The newly legal duo took great pains to keep out would-be party crashers, closing down the street in front of their house and hiring security to maintain order.

At one point, there was a tearful tribute from family and friends who took turns giving speeches about the oh-so-powerful girls.

"It was really heartfelt but a great time," says a source close to Ashley Olsen and Mary-Kate Olsen. "Everyone danced all night."

Shortly after 11 p.m., Ashley Olsen addressed the crowd.

"I would like to thank everyone who came out tonight to celebrate with me," Ashley said. "I hope we will have many more happy memories this next year."

Ash closed out her speech with some touching words for Mary-Kate Olsen.

"No one could understand me the way you do," said one of the Olsen Twins to the next. "Nobody could relate to me the way you do. In fact no one could tolerate me the way you do!"

She's right - this celebrity gossip site sure can't!

One look at Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen makes it apparent these skeletons are far from powerful.

Nevertheless, they had been included on 2006's Forbes list of the 100 most powerful celebrities. This year, though? Not so much. We always said the pair should eat more.

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie also fell off the 2007 list, thanks to waning interest in their reality series The Simple Life. And their lack of talent, perhaps.

Meanwhile, Oprah Winfrey, who consistently cracks the top 10 with earnings of $260 million a year, came in first place this year.

While compiling the list, Forbes considers income, while also taking into account factors such as media interest and the number of friends on stars' MySpace pages (in which case, Tila Tequila should rank first; she has over one million).

Lindsay Lohan was on the list for two years, but dropped off in 2006. Britney Spears, who was ranked No. 1 in 2002, bowed out the following year and hasn't been back since.

Big-time actors cleaned up this year, with Pirates of the Caribbean star Johnny Depp, who earned $92 million last year, coming in at No. 6. and The Da Vinci Code's Tom Hanks jumping from No. 31 to No. 11.

Brad Pitt finally made it into the top 10 for the first time with a No. 5 ranking.

In other news: child stars are fast on the heels of their adult contemporaries. Harry Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe (No. 79) and Emma Watson (No. 97) join the list for the first time, along with Dakota Fanning (No. 94).

"We're seeing young kids bringing in adult salaries," Goldman says.

Along those lines, look for Suri Cruise to make the list in 2008.

Out and about, no pants necessary.

That's the Mary-Kate Olsen mantra.

The more famous one of the Olsen Twins is seen here kissing her boyfriend earlier this week. She seems to go for guys that don't put grooming at the top of the list.

Which is appropriate, since the girl's rare brand of fashion (non)sense is rivaled by only a select few, such as the great Britney Spears.

Nonetheless, it appears Mary-Kate and Max Snow are going strong.

Oh, to be Max Snow. As Mary-Kate's "rocker" boyfriend, his existence is comprised of being photographed out on dates with the poster child for hobo chic, then going home and doing the nasty to Full House reruns. Some people just have the life.

Here's the look that Max Snow apparently digs...

• Oversized men's shirts
• Weird ass platform shoes
• Risky Business style sunglasses
• Cigarette hanging out of mouth
• Large cup of coffee at all times
• Too much makeup
• Bed head
• No pants

Over the past few months, we've seen actors, tyrannical world leaders (twice), athletes, American Idol wannabes, weirdos and a bald Britney Spears.

They may not be true dead-ringers, but when The Hollywood Gossip's celebrity look-alikes feature makes an appearance, entertainment is a given.

Take Volume 34, below. No one (we think) would actually mistake Mary-Kate Olsen for ET: The Extra-Terrestrial in drag, but when you take a look at them side-by-side, you will notice distinct similarities...

That's ET on the right, in case you were confused. That crazy, loving alien sure was good for comic relief when he landed on Earth a quarter-century ago.

While other celebrities, such as Nicole Richie, might seem more like life forms from other galaxies, the Olsen Twins can hold their own... especially when they wear ridiculous outfits like this one... which is frequent.

Oh, and with Mary-Kate in that picture are the Greek God of Poontang (her ex-boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos) and some old lady who has no idea she's being mocked on a celebrity gossip site right now.

Think Brody Jenner would hit that? We wouldn't put it past him.

We can't believe we wrote that, either.

Usually, when we mention the Olsen Twins, it's to point out that they are frickin' loaded, looking possessed, dressing for Halloween in January, or freaking the hell out of former Full House star Bob Saget.

But in these pictures, they look kind of hot. Or at least normal.

Last night, at the Costume Gala, Mary-Kate Olsen (right) looked like a wet blackbird dipped in tar, but compared to some of her past outfits, we can dig it. Plus, the goth thing kinda does it for us (and Marilyn Manson). 

Ashley Olsen, meanwhile, looks downright almost fine. Well for her. There is the whole side-boob action, but mostly what we like about this pic is that she doesn't look too Satanic and ghostly. Well, that's not entirely true.

Look, the point is that it's a step in the right direction for these two. Ashley was escorted by Christian Louboutin to the event. Hope he has a lot of money. No word on whether Max Snow escorted Mary-Kate.

Are you troubled by the odd fashion sense of Mary-Kate Olsen and sister Ashley Olsen? Are you as disturbed as Bob Saget every time you see the Olsen twins, for that matter?

We are. But in this exciting new eBay auction, you can at least pretend they know how to dress themselves. By doing it yourself, that is!

Seriously, you can bid (by follow the link above, for just $8.00) on these terrifying adorable Olsen twins dolls in a convertible, rocking in their very own "apples and oranges" PJs. Great. Sadly, a Max Snow doll is not included...

If you're crafty, you can make them their very hobo lumberjack outfits or bags that might weigh as much as they do. Not the dolls, but the actual twins. Think of all the fun things you can do with these!

Other eBay items we'd love to bid on if it were possible:

• The knives responsible for Ashlee Simpson's bad plastic surgery
• An autographed picture of the entire Brangelina clan
• Kevin Federline's debut album (just kidding)
• A date with Haley Scarnato